Paradox Online, Ron's Articles

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This section contains articles and poems by Ron. All are copyrighted, with all rights reserved. Permission to repost is granted provided all credits and contact information is included in posting. Courtesy notification is requested. NOTE: I just did an Internet search of my name to see what was out there. I found my articles posted on blogs without my website or any other contact information. I thank those who are "struck" by my articles and wish to repost them; however, please allow the opportunity for those who may read them to respond. Perhaps I am vain, but it feels good to hear someone say they appreciate what was shared. Thanks for understanding... And I, too, need to be more aware and do a better job of telling those whose articles touch me that I appreciate their contribution.

SPECIAL NOTE: My novel, Heretics, Harlots and Other Saints, written in 1985, is now an e-book. (Why didn't I think of this earlier?) You can read and even print your own copy. It is found HERE. As always, what I provide is FREE! Life is a gift to be shared freely!

STANDING UP TO INJUSTICE This is posted by itself on a separate page as jpeg file. It deals with my lawsuit.
LAWSUIT January 2010 This is posted by itself on a separate page.
Lawsuit march 2010 This is posted by itself on a separate page. It deals with the latest in my lawsuit.

AFFIDAVIT: MAY 4, 2011

NEWS REPORT: The Republic for the united States of America

TAKE BACK YOUR BIRTHRIGHT

WHAT MAKES ONE A CHRISTIAN?

RESTORED SOVEREIGN REPUBLICS

THE POWER OF PEACE: CO-CREATING A NEW WORLD IN 2011

THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY IT SAFE!

DID I SAY MASSIVE, VISIBLE CHANGES?

MOVING THE IMMOVABLE OBJECT

Lawsuit January 2011

2011: A YEAR OF MASSIVE, VISIBLE CHANGES

"I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE…

THE WAY IT IS – ISN'T ...

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY "CHRISTIAN" MOMMY

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED!

WHAT IN THE WORLD…?

ARE YOU WILLING TO DECLARE PEACE

TIME TO SPEAK OUT: HOW I SEE IT

THE POWER AND PEACE OF PURPOSEFUL PASSION

I CAN'T GIVE UP ON MY DREAM

THE LAWYERS BACKED DOWN WITH THIS AFFIDAVIT

I HOLD THE WHOLE WORLD IN MY HEART

THEY LOST THE MORTGAGE

REFLECTIONS: DEALING WITH COURT

RON TO OFFICERS OF THE COURT: GOTCHA!

MONOLOGUE: SEXUALITY & INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

2010…CONSCIOUS CO-CREATION NOW!

REDUCTIONIST SPIRITUALITY

QUANTUM RELATIONSHIPS: CO-CREATING BEYOND THE NORM

WOUNDED CHILDREN IN A WOUNDING WORLD

MY HEART CRIES TO GOD

VAGINA MONOLOGUE...FROM A MAN'S POINT OF VIEW

DEALING WITH THE PARADIGM SHIFT

PENIS MONOLOGUE: IF MY PENIS COULD TALK

ROMANCE, SEXUAL ATTRACTION, TWIN FLAMES AND THE SHADOW

RON'S VISION OF TOMORROW'S WORLD

THREE WRITER'S GROUP ASSIGNMENTS

CAN YOU … HOW DO YOU … SEE THE NEW WAY?

FREEDOM & SOVEREIGNTY part 2

A LOOK AT POLITICS: POSITION AND PERSPECTIVE

THE BRAVE NEW WORLD OF SCALAR ELECTROMAGNETICS

FREEDOM & SOVEREIGNTY

OPEN LETTER TO THE ILLUMINATI

KNOWLEDGE IS NEVER NEGATIVE – ONLY IGNORANCE IS NEGATIVE!

COMMENTARY ON THE OCTOBER 14TH DISAPPOINTMENT

OCTOBER 14, 2008 PREDICTIONS: INSPIRATION OR WISHFUL THINKING?

CYCLONIC ENERGIES, DIVINE GRACE AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

"I'M NOT RELIGIOUS ... I'M SPIRITUAL!"

LESSONS FROM THE MASTERS: HOW CAN WE ALL BE RIGHT?

LIBERATION and SOVEREIGNTY

JUSTICE AND THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD

CHRISTIANITY: A NON-CHRISTIAN RELIGION!

RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY … DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?

RON'S RELECTIONS ON HIS WHiTE SHADOW

WILL WE CONTINUE TO SEE OUR PAST IN OUR FUTURE; OR WILL WE STOP RESISTING AND CREATE PEACE ON EARTH?

ENDING THE OLD, BEGINNING THE NEW

AS THE WORLD TURNS: ENDLESS CIRCLE OR UPWARD SPIRAL?

DANCING WITH LIGHT AND SHADOWS: CELEBRATING OUR WAY HOME

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE: ANASTASIA'S STORY

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY & HOW I PAID MY TAXES ANYWAY...THE LAW OF ATTRACTION WITH GRACE & COMPASSION

THE CONUNDRUM: THE SECRET vs. A COURSE IN MIRACLES

CONVERSATION WITH MY (HIGHER) SELF

NOW AND THEN THERE'S A FOOL SUCH AS I AM

THE SATURDAY NIGHT AFTER...LOVE CAN BUILD A BRIDGE

DOES DIVINE JUSTICE DEMAND KARMA…OR DO THOSE PERPETUATING EVIL ESCAPE JUSTICE?

SIN, THE GARDEN OF EDEN, AND RECONCILIATION

WE CAN HEAL NOW! THE MIRACULOUS PRACTICE OF HO'OPONOPONO

YES, I AM STILL A CHRISTIAN...

LIBERATING LOVE BY SEEING OUR REFLECTION IN THE MIRRORS

AN UNLIKELY HERO: GEORGE W. BUSH

WHAT YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS ~ WHAT YOU DENY REMAINS UNHEALED

THE PARADOXMAN SPEAKS: THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST

NOTE: To print out an article or portion thereof, simply highlight the text you wish to print, click the "File" menu, then click "Print," then choose "selection" when it asks for page range. It will only send the selected text to your printer.

(A few years earlier...no beard, shorter hair)...Ron on March 9, 2007... (Then again on September 9, 2007...still no haircut!)
back to long hair and with three weeks of new beard growth after three+ beardless years and even more with short hair.
The old hippie has returned.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE
EIGHTEENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT
IN AND FOR BREVARD COUNTY,
FLORIDA

RONALD VAN DYKE as Trustee of the
Mary Annetta Horgan Revocable Living Trust,
SHRINERS HOSPITALS FOR CHILDREN,
MARION JOHANNESEN, SANDRA OAK and BOB WILHOIT

Response to Order filed in open court on April 27, 2011 at 10:51 AM

AFFIDAVIT

These are facts I know to be true...

1) I, Ronald-Thomas: Van Dyke, am a natural living man/sentient soul, secured party creditor and a sovereign freeman-on-the-land under common law. I am part of the Republic for the united states of America. I am not a citizen of the corporate USA or any of its corporate affiliates or sub-agencies.

2) Admiralty courts operating under commercial law have no jurisdiction over sovereigns without consent; and for me that consent has been denied repeatedly by affidavits, which the above court and its officers have never rebutted on and for the record. All jurisdiction of such courts extends only to the STRAWMAN, which is a legal fiction and not a real human being.

3) Truth Maximum #3 – an unrebutted affidavit is the executed judgment in commerce.… Except for a jury, it is also a capital/fatal offense for any person, even a Judge, to impair or to expunge, without a counter-affidavit, any affidavit or any commercial process based on affidavit.

4) I, the natural man, took ownership of the STRAWMAN created in the facsimile of my birth name by the state at the time of my birth. I hold lawful and legal power of attorney over any action relating to that legal entity in any and all matters.

5) In April of 2010, I filed with this court, the STATE OF FLORIDA and in the National Republic Registry a STATE OF FLORIDA UNIFORM COMMERICAL CODE FINANCING STATEMENT FORM with numerous attachments. In this form, a legally binding document known as the UCC-1, I took lawful and legal possession of all property listed in that document, including my homestead, which is also a spiritual center, that the above court is threatening to sell at auction next month at the bank's request.

6) On page 18 of that document, paragraph 2, it is recorded: "This privately held Security Agreement in hand cannot be discharged in bankruptcy court or any other court, as holder's property is exempt from levy. Secured Party Creditor accepts all signatures in accordance with UCC3-419. Adjustments of this recording is from HJR 192, Public Law 73-10, and UCC-1-104. All proceeds, accounts, and orders therefrom are released to Secured Party Creditor."

7) On page 19, which IS A LEGAL NOTICE AND DEMAND and A CONTRACT IN ADMIRALTY JURISDICTION, it is written (2): " This Notice is in the nature of a Miranda Warning. Take due heed of its contents. If, for any reason, you do not understand any of these statements or warnings, it is incumbent upon you to summon a superior officer, special prosecutor, federal judge, or other competent legal counsel to immediately explain to you the significance of this presentment as per your duties and obligations in respect to this private, formal, notarized, registered Statute Staple Securities Instrument. As per Title 11 USC 501(a), 502(a), 11 USC 7001, 7013, and Federal Rules of Civil Procedure Sections 8-A, AND 13-A, the claim or presumption that I, Ronald-Thomas: Van Dyke, am a DEBTOR to the “UNITED STATES” or any of its agencies or sub-corporations is forever rebutted by this contract. This rebuttal is a counterclaim in Admiralty."

8) From the same page (5): " I, the undersigned, now tendering this legally binding Legal Notice and Demand in hand am not a surety under your jurisdiction nor a subject under your corporate veil “Color of Law Venue,“ being acknowledged by silence and acquiescence of KURT S. BROWNING , respectfully FLORIDA SECRETARY OF STATE, also but not limited to any public officers, agents, contractors, assigns, employees, and subsidiaries of your office, regarding my Legal Notice and Demand tendered by certified mail with liber book number and page affixed. "

9) When I attempted to file the AFFIDAVIT OF RECORDING with the CLERK OF COURT office in BREVARD COUNTY, FLORIDA, my one-page filing was refused by the court, although the UCC-1 had previously been accepted by the court as part of this case. A subsequent letter from the court indicated that it had "no authority" to process my document, which was being filed as a freeman without reference to any open court case. This fact was included in my unrebutted AFFIDAVIT of May 28, 2010 in which I rendered my Final Sovereign Judgment. No authority means no jurisdiction!

10) From my perspective, that Final Sovereign Judgment was accepted by the court on June 4, 2010 when the judge removed the trial from the docket. By canceling the scheduled "date certain" trial, I rightly claimed victory in protecting myself and my property as a sovereign and a freeman-on-the-land.

11) In my AFFIDAVIT from January of this year, I pointed out to the court information from the Fourth District Court of Appeals in the State of Florida to the effect that the ORIGINAL PROMISSORY NOTE is required as a duplicate of a note is not admissible,IF it is a negotiable instrument. Again, this affidavit was not rebutted in writing, on and for the record. Nor could it be! Promissory notes are negotiable instruments! No copy can have validity! All copies are counterfeit, just as photocopying hundred dollar bills would be counterfeit. Furthermore, no legislative pronouncement nor court decision has any validity in truth; therefore, any attempt to overwrite or override a common sense law is nothing more than fraud!

12) The AFFIDAVIT TO REESTABLISH LOST NOTE from the STATE OF OHIO and signed on April 7, 2011 plainly admits that PNC BANK was unable to locate the note, and therefore submitted a "true and correct copy of the Promissory Note" which the court fraudulently used as if it were an original, recording it in the Official Record Book 5517, Page 4328, in the public records of Brevard County, Florida.

13) As I said in my AFFIDAVIT from January of this year, "All information available in the public record indicates that there is no lost note in this case, the note was simply sold according to standard banking procedures, discharging the note at the time of sale. In other words, it was PAID IN FULL when the note, as an executable instrument, was transferred to any other party or parties. To declare it "lost" is incredulous, and part of the overwhelming scam in the commercial banking sector of our world at this time. Therefore, any ruling to restore the note using copies is fraud on and by the court; and I retain the right to prosecute any and all parties involved in and attempting to perpetuate such fraud, including the CORPORATION known as THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE EIGHTEENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR BREVARD COUNTY, FLORIDA.

14) That the mortgage executed by RONALD VAN DYKE in July of 2005 has no legal standing has been asserted by other attorneys involved in this matter for reasons stated in various meetings and in written responses in relation to this case. I, too, have given numerous reasons to the court, by affidavit, why there was no valid contract. To my knowledge, none of those affidavits of mine, or any of the assertions of the other attorneys in this matter, was ever addressed by the court, in writing, and on the record. The silence of the court either constitutes agreement that said mortgage is null and void, or complicity in fraud.

15) It is well known throughout this land and around the world that the banking industry has been systematically defrauding human beings of their natural rights as sovereign men and women for a long time. While this fact is not yet admitted by all, those who know the truth are increasing exponentially on a daily basis, despite the continuing whitewashing by most politicians and most mainstream media.

16) Any attempt by any officer of the court, any code or law enforcement officer, any auctioneer or any other person to facilitate the auctioning of the property at 473 Thomas Drive in Brevard County, Melbourne, Florida, without my written consent as a Secured Party Creditor, is committing a felony.

18) I have been told that any time a de jure Grand Jury is seated, it automatically, by law, takes precedence over de facto courts, which are nothing other than the legal arm of the banking cartel. As a fact, I do hereby invite the parties in this matter to bring their assertions before one of the seated de jure Grand Juries operating under common law and common sense, if it is felt they have a lawful claim.

You have ten (10) days from filing date, to respond to and/or rebut the facts presented in this affidavit by submitting to me signed, certified, authenticated documents of the laws that rebut these facts point by point, On and For the Record, under penalties of the law including perjury; otherwise, all facts are admitted by the court as stated.

By affixing my signature hereto, I acknowledge that I have spoken and established my truth without malice or intent to harm anyone in his or her natural person, while at the same time to establish truth in regard to legal fictions created by de facto institutions. Let matters of continuing fraud by the banks and their co-conspirators be denied now and forevermore! Let truth and justice prevail.

On this, the ______ day of _______________, 20___, before me a notary public, the undersigned officer, personally appeared Ron Van Dyke, known to me (or satisfactorily proven) to be the person whose name is subscribed above, and acknowledged that he executed the same for the purposes therein contained.
In witness hereof, I hereunto set my hand and official seal.

Notary Public
==========================================================================================================================================

This document, after filing with the court, will be sent electronically to all parties involved. A copy will also be provided via certified mail to the Brevard County Sheriff with a cover letter of explanation.

I strongly advise that all members of the law society and BAR associations involved in the matter fully acquaint him or herself with ALL of the facets in the UCC-1 document filed in April, 2011. As indicated, it is a legal contract in admiralty courts.

As a point in fact, this document (three pages) was prepared on the date indicated on page 1. Following completion, I retrieved my mail from the mailbox for the first time since last week. Included in that was a notification from the Shriner's attorney revealing the other part of the hearing on April 27, 2011. Here's my observation...

I removed myself as trustee last year, since I was unable, due to the lawsuit, to fulfill my fiduciary duties in regard to the trust. My hands were tied beyond my control. Had it not been for the lawsuit, the Merritt Island property would have been sold in 2005 for at least $850,000-$900,000; and all benefactors would have received their designated bequests. Obviously, that is not what happened.

As for inappropriately transferring the MI property to myself, that has been explained numerous times in previous responses and does not need repetition. I was a novice, and did the best I could with no malicious intent, merely acting as I thought was required of me.

As for not having the right to have created the bridge loan in the first place, according to the Shriners, which the judge apparently agreed with in his ruling, it seems strange that this, if a fact, would have nullified the note altogether, which, I believe, has been pointed out previously. Then, why did the judge fraudulently allow PNC and its attorney to use a copy of the note to attempt to steal my home and spiritual center? It seems duplicitous to me.

Notice to Agent is Notice to Principal. Notice to Principal is Notice to Agent. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

As per my Liber Documents, a jury of my peers means other sovereign individuals that have re-established their rights.

Dear Donna,

I became a lawful and legal secured-party creditor about one year ago. I did not hear about the Republic until January of this year, which is when I joined. About one month later, I was elected Secretary of State for the Republic of Florida. Until today, I did not know that these documents you created even existed. Had the Holy Spirit not prompted me to call to a man, Jim Costa, I met at the first assembly meeting I attended in Wildwood, Florida, I still would not know.

Let me tell you the effect these documents have had on our republic.

Almost from the beginning of being elected to my office, I received demands and threats from our Ambassador, Susan Chisholm. She was demanding that all documentation be turned over to her...and I do mean demanding. Threats accompanied those demands. Later, I learned that she was also threatening our Governor and the Chief Justice in our state. The Governor, Michael Bishop, (he was the former Ambassador), Chief Justice, Gene Exum, and I did not feel it was wise to put all of the "eggs in one basket", especially one held by an individual that had a real problem cooperating and communicating nicely with other volunteers. She was provided copies of all the documents that the former Ambassador, now Governor, had in his possession. We did not, nor do we now, think it is wise to allow someone with the demeanor and demanding attitude of our Ambassador to have total control over all documents pertaining to citizenship in the Republic. (In fact, it is never wise to give any one person total control.)

As you might imagine, this thing is on the verge of rending our republic asunder before we can even get it off the ground. How can this be serving the best interests of We the People?

Now Susan has employed the services of a man elected as Attorney General, Bob Hart, to issue her threats. He changed his office title to State Counselor General (I do not know his reasons). He also uses a letterhead on his correspondence that indicates he works for the CORPORATION, since the Republic of Florida is all CAPS. He also addresses his letters to the STRAWMAN rather than the human being. The first one, a LETTER OF DEMAND, I opened, since I did not know its origin or purpose. The one that came yesterday was refused and returned to sender unopened. Why? When I went through the process of establishing my freeman status as a result of a lawsuit that lasted nearly five years, I always returned mail from any of the lawyers or the court that were addressed to my STRAWMAN – once I realized what that meant to them. Now, I am supposed to be in a Republic, but it's people are acting worse than the de facto court system with which I had dealt. Never once did I get a letter of demand from the de facto courts, though I did get oral threats and intimidation that ultimately empowered me.

Please bear in mind that all of these demands and threats were made before I was even aware of the foundation for their claims: your documents! I do notice that you indicate in several places (and I have not read every word or seen every page) that you are giving your opinion. Unfortunately, the Ambassador and Attorney General missed that important fact. They see your writing as the LAW by which they are governed and from which they derive their imagined authority over other elected officials. They even believe it gives them the right and responsibility to fire those that will not meet their demands. I understand that they have already removed elected individuals from the legislative branch and replaced them with their own appointments, the number of which exceed the number removed. (This is hearsay, not direct knowledge.)

As I see it, Donna, a monster worse than the de facto system has been created. I'm not saying that you are personally responsible; however, I do understand that you are teaching others principles that are based on the documents you created. Until such documents are ratified by a vote of all eligible voters in the Republic, they cannot and must not hold any force of law. They are your suggestions; and this fact must be made clear to all of those that you teach.

I hope you can see that certain individuals, and not only here in Florida, are using your documents to claim dictatorial power that is even more blatant than in our current de facto system. Neither the Ambassador nor any other official has the right to unilaterally operate as the voice of We the People. Neither does anyone have the right to make a demand on any other free individual made in the image of God. That not only violates our free will, it removes our unalienable right to make our own choices based on our current understanding.

Furthermore, everyone, and I do mean everyone, has the natural right to assemble and to call an assembly. To restrict that right to the position of Ambassador is an affront to all freedom loving individuals. Yes, this may not be as orderly as a dictatorship, but if we trusted our Creator, we will see that order can and will be created out of the apparent chaos. What your documents seem to have created, whether intended or not, is a beast. Such a situation must not be allowed to continue as the flame of freedom burns evermore brightly in the hearts of men and women awakening spiritually to the unity for which Jesus prayed, as recorded in the 17th chapter of John's Gospel (the real Lord's Prayer).

I trust that you will be able to see the level of confusion that has been wrought from the brief amount of information I have shared with you. I sincerely request that you make every effort to correct the situation that has been created by your documents and the classes you have been teaching. Until this is done, it is my observation that the misunderstandings and misapplications of your documents constitute a serious effort to derail everything we claim to be doing for the good of everyone with true justice and freedom for all.

Most sincerely, in the love and light of our Creator,
Ron Van Dyke
Secretary of State
Republic of Florida

The entire world should be very grateful for the courage of certain Christians in the United States who have proactively reestablished the Republic for the united States of America. These men and women have exercised tremendous foresight as they have trusted the Spirit of the Living God to guide them into re-inhabiting vacant offices in the Republic that actually exist, even though they have lain dormant for more than a century. The volunteers that have been willing to stand in the gap and fill these positions, although I have not met most of them personally, may qualify as true spiritual leaders. Mr. Tim Turner, the current interim president, certainly seems to meet the qualifications as I have witnessed him in several audio and video appearances.

What is the most significant qualification for a true spiritual leader? I believe Jesus gave us the answer when he said that the greatest among you will be the servant of all. To me, the heart of a servant needs to be an accepted prerequisite for anyone seeking a leadership position, whether at a spiritual level, or a governmental level. Without the heart of a servant, the individual ego dominates. That certainly characterizes most leaders in the current corporate governments throughout the United States and the world. Most do not see themselves as servants of the people, rather, they have, in effect, sold their souls for money, sex, and/or the illusion of power. It is a travesty that the people of the nations have allowed to exist.

There is a song I remember from my Jesus People days back in the 70s along the same theme – it might have been one of Chuck Girard's songs. The words I remember are: "If you want to be great in God's Kingdom, learn to be the servant of all." I repeat this principle on purpose. Why? Because I still have grave concerns regarding some Christians holding political office of significance as we move from the status of indentured servants of the Corporation to personal sovereigns in a free land.

To me, a significant number within the Christian community still hold very narrow views of Christ. Many see Jesus as a divider – one who puts his stamp of approval on the illusion of separation. They have not yet discerned the meaning of this, for they see the world as being divided, basically into two camps that are opposed to each other. One camp is on God's side – the other on Satan's. They see life as warfare between these camps. This is a critically dangerous perspective at this stage in the development of human consciousness. If we continue to see this as the reality of the world, we will continue to create that reality in the world. Of course, this would be disastrous. It would only maintain the status quo, which is not what we need at this crucial juncture in our history.

I have often said that we cannot rise above our concept of God. When Christians put the devil on virtually equal footing with the Creator, it creates polarization. Until they (we) are able to see God and Christ as ALL and in all – including the devil – we will continue to manifest that polarization. Virtually all Christians that claim to believe the Bible would agree that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Nevertheless, all does not mean all to many when the Bible also says that Christ is all and in all. Most are completely unable to see this contradiction and understand the depth of its meaning. They do not realize how this diminishes the truth and creates slavery to an illusion. Make no mistake about it, believing in illusions is exactly how the world has come to be what it has been and what it is at this point in time. Our beliefs create our experience.

Leaders must be servants of all – no exceptions! Yet, in reality, no leader that allows for exclusions can possibly serve all. The recently installed governor in the Corporation of Alabama made this clear when he said that those that had not accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior were not his brothers and sisters. This rightly drew criticism from many quarters. When we look at it from God's perspective – and doesn't the Bible teach us that we have the mind of Christ? – we are all God's children, therefore, brothers and sisters. It has nothing to do with religious beliefs. It has everything to do with the very nature of God.

Not one of us has all the answers. None of us yet have complete understanding of how creation works. Yet many believe that they alone know the truth; and those that disagree with them are simply wrong. There is a failure to discern the reality that in the body of Christ there are many roles and functions. Can you imagine the stomach going to war with the heart, or the heart rejecting the brain, or the brain belittling the intestines, or the intestines criticizing the lungs? Insanity! Of course it is. We can see this on the microcosmic level of our bodies; but so many fail to grasp its meaning on the macrocosmic level of society. God did not invest all truth in a single religion because God is bigger than any religion – including Christianity. For Christians to say to Muslims, or Jews, or Buddhists, or Hindus, or pagans, or Taoists, or even atheists: "I don't need to listen to your wisdom" – that is the very height of arrogance; and it is just as insane as body organs fighting with each other. In both cases, it is a deadly disease.

Unless the Christians that volunteer to take leadership positions in the newly restored Republic humble themselves and pray for wisdom, the Republic will take on the same characteristics as the Corporation before too much time passes. All Christians, but especially those who step up as leaders, need to learn to trust the Holy Spirit to guide them into all truth – even truth that seems to contradict their current belief systems. Don't tell me that the Holy Spirit would never do any such thing, that the belief system is somehow infallible. Give me a break, the Bible is full of times when newer revelation contradicted older revelation. Jesus said to the Pharisees of his day, "You have heard it said by those of old time… but I say unto you…" He was updating the program and downloading a new belief system – because belief systems create experiential reality.

To rigidly believe what we've always believed is a death knell to progress. To remain entrenched in the illusion of separation automatically prevents the ability to live from the heart. I don't care what you've heard or read in your holy books, separation does not exist from God's viewpoint – nor can it. From what can God be separate, if He is all and in all, fills all creation and by Him all things consist? Therefore, how can you, or anyone, continue to justify your perception of separation? How is it that you are able to judge someone else as unworthy? How is it that you are able to draw a circle that excludes someone else? How long will you continue such arrogant beliefs and justify them because that's how you understand the Bible?

I'm asking the Christian church to repent. I'm not inviting you to feel guilt or shame, because I've been in your shoes. I know what it's like to want to please God with all of my heart, just as you do. I know what it's like to study the Scriptures and to do my best to understand them. Yet, I had to come to a place in my life where I was willing to realize that Christ was in me, as me, and to trust him to lead me into all truth. The reason many of you still cannot do this is because you don't really believe that Christ is your life – except in the abstract. It's time to make it real. It's time to follow your heart and trust your gut and let go of the old image you have of God as being vengeful and judgmental. When that is your image of God, it is exactly how you act and behave in your own life. As I said, you cannot rise above your concept of God. Let it go. That's what I mean by repent. Turn around and go in the opposite direction, forgiving yourself for misunderstanding. It's no big thing because, like the prodigal son, the father will run out to meet you with his arms open wide. This my son was blind, but now he sees; he was dead, but now he lives.

You that have been courageous enough to step up to the plate and re-inhabit the Republic for the united States of America, be courageous enough as well to put on the mind of Christ. Follow the admonition of the apostle Paul when he said, "Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus, who being made in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God. But being found in the form of a servant, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." You are as much a son of God or a daughter of God as Jesus was – no difference, no separation. Stop making excuses for yourself. Jesus gave you permission to do greater things than he did. To do that, you first have to see yourself as Jesus saw himself – the eternal Son of God.

If the Christian church is unwilling and unable to wake up, not only will the Republic fail, the entire world will be plunged into darkness again. We stand at the threshold of the greatest opportunity in human history. What we decide here, at this time, will either bring in the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, the Jubilee, or it will plunge the world into cataclysm and devastation. I believe in my heart of hearts that we have the grace to make the right choice. I believe we have the wisdom to be able to love everyone as God does.

You say you believe in God; now it's time to trust God as you've never trusted before. He has promised to lead you along paths that you have not known, and in ways that you have not understood. His faithfulness to do what is promised is great. I implore you by the Spirit of the living God in me to embrace the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, knowing that we are all God's children wanting to be loved and crying out for acceptance. Every human, regardless of what they believe, or what they have done, deserves God's grace. And the amazing thing about God's grace is that it is a gift we give to ourselves. Thank you for listening, and for hearing me with the ears of your heart. Namaste.

Many people may not associate the word power with the word peace. Perhaps it is because power is often associated with force, which is often anything but peaceful. Those who have read Dr. David Hawkins book: Power vs. Force may realize that true power is an innate spiritual quality, whereas force is often seen as a military-like feature. To me, world peace can never occur on earth until its people step up and exercise our inherent, natural power ... together; however, I feel that we will actually do that this year ... in 2011. When we do, we will co-create a new world together. 2012 will be vastly more peaceful than what we have always known—all because of what is called: THE AWAKENING.

Now, I am quite certain that if I were able to survey every human being on the planet, asking the question: Do you want peace? the response would be overwhelmingly, YES! I'm also certain as well that most politicians would also answer yes. Of course, we all know that politicians lie; yet we tend to believe them anyway. Believing their lies is exactly how we have given our power away. Let us consider reasons why politicians lie.

To understand the political arena, we must comprehend the underlying forces behind its charade. There are two main ones that I can see. Greed for money and lust for power are most obvious. In this case, power actually means force, or control over others; and greed follows the belief that whoever ends up with the most, wins! While there are altruistic individuals that enter or vie for positions of so-called authority to make a positive difference in the world, many merely play out their shadow elements. By this I mean that the causal motivation is fear—based on the false and prevailing paradigm of separation and lack. To many, this may not even be conscious.

Here's what I see happening. People are waking up all over the planet; and the fear-based leadership of the world is being exposed in its corruption. You see, those who have conspired to rule the world have been able to operate for centuries (maybe even millennia) because the people have been largely unaware of higher realities. In other words, humanity has been unconscious. This is changing—rapidly.

Conspiracies are interesting things. They require ignorance on both sides of the equation. Let me explain.

Everything is consciousness! The way the world works, as I see it, is that the parts of our consciousness that we are unwilling to own, show up outside of ourselves as separate. It doesn't matter which side you're standing on, the part of you that you are unwilling to admit will always manifest—somewhere out there. For the leaders, the unwillingness is about disowned weakness. For the people, it is about unaccepted power. Both are imprisoned by the illusion of separation that leads to the belief in lack, which I said earlier. This enslaves everyone.

In other words, humans, until this current generation, have been unable to connect the dots. Without connecting the dots, nothing makes sense, and everything is unsustainable. This is the matrix in which we have lived—the one that is changing. Everything that has seemed inside out and upside down is being reversed—a reverse flow of energy. This is a highly spiritual, cosmic event. It is the disillusionment that precedes enlightenment. Seemingly all of a sudden, more and more people are becoming aware of the interconnectedness of all life.

Let's take the example of an event that happened at the beginning of this year. Around Christmas time, terrorists bombed a Coptic Christian church in Alexandria, Egypt. A week later, the Coptic Christians went ahead with their plans for the celebration of the new year. Of course, there was concern in light of the recent bombing. Thousands of Muslims, which long ago honored people of the book, formed human shields around the Coptic churches to prevent the extremists from carrying out more attacks. Included in that human shield were well-known Egyptian actors as well as the two sons of the Egyptian president, Hosni Mubarak. The Muslims organized under the slogan "We either live together, or we die together!" One said, "We are one. This was an attack on Egypt as a whole, and I am standing with the Copts because the only way things will change in this country is if we come together." This is an excellent example of what will happen increasingly in 2011 as spiritual energies are downloaded and outpoured upon humanity.

We can no longer afford the luxury, which is actually a curse, of scapegoating. Almost always, scapegoating is a smokescreen that diverts attention away from the true perpetrators of crimes against humanity. This is certainly the case when our media tends to blame the Muslims for a significant part of the world's problems. That is simply not the case.

So, once again, I ask the question I continue to ask: who are the real terrorists? My answer will always be the same—until it changes. Terrorists are not people who have nothing to lose by dying; rather, they are people who have something to gain by the death of others. They are the people who promote war and dissension around the world. Yes, the politicians are the puppets of these terrorists, which is why politicians almost always lie. The truth is, they do not serve the people; they serve international bankers and multinational corporations. The former, banks, commit economic terrorism through fraudulent practices and extreme usury. Multinational corporations also increase their bottom line through deception. Drug companies withhold cures because there is no money in health. Weapons manufacturers finance war because it is highly profitable. Governments are also privately owned corporations that benefit a relative handful of people, which is why the gap between the rich and the poor continues to grow exponentially.

These are things every human being on the planet needs to know. In fact, there is an amazing wealth of information on the Internet that reveals the truth about the grand deception by what we call the establishment. As we the people realize these things, we have the opportunity to take action. Many, upon learning the truth, will become very angry; and while this could lead to more violence, there is a growing awareness that this will not fix anything. Neither will the attempt to fight the establishment. On the contrary, we, especially those who can see more clearly, have the responsibility to heal the divisions within our own being. As we do, the lights will shine ever more brightly. This will only further expose the lies of the establishment. Ultimately, even the establishment will agree to the truth. They will have no choice that remains reasonable to them, for they will have backed themselves into a corner and the glare of light does not allow for much wiggle room. That is what I see happening in 2011, the fruit of the eighth phase of the evolution of consciousness now ending. Integrity will overtake greed and lust for power.

This is the year of the tipping point. Critical mass has already been exceeded. In less than one year, according to Dr. Carl Calleman's interpretation of the Mayan calendar, the ninth and final phase in the evolution of human consciousness will begin and end. By next year, 2012, peace on earth is possible—I would even say probable. In the meantime, 2011 will be a year of rapid revelations and significant shifts in humanity's understanding of the matrix in which we have been imprisoned.

In closing, I ask each one of you to lay aside all of your preconceived ideas of how you think the world is or should be. Be willing to let go of belief systems that have fostered your perception of separation. You are not separate from anything or anyone! NO SEPARATION is the new paradigm that is sweeping our world. As the Muslims in Egypt realized, WE ARE ONE! This is not simply an esoteric teaching or a mystical doctrine. It is a scientific fact! We are each a part of the circle of life, and we can no longer afford the insanity of not connecting the dots. Our true power is in the realization that we are infinite and eternal beings, woven into the cosmic fabric of Creation itself. As we reach this awareness, we make peace within ourselves, forgiving, and showing compassion. We realize that whatever we call the Creator, that power is predisposed toward life and operates on the principles we call love.

In 2011, let us come together as never before, listening to and actually hearing each other as we are graced with the ability to look beyond all faults and see the heart of humanity. The Universe has heard our cries for peace. Truth and justice with mercy are now flooding the planet; and this will increase exponentially as the year progresses. May peace prevail in me. May peace prevail in you. When it does, peace will prevail on Earth.

Let's get it straight right off the bat. The attempt to play it safe is nothing less than living in fear! Leaders, light-workers, way-showers and spiritual warriors are being called to stand in the gap between those who believe they rule the world and the people who live their lives as helpless victims. To play it safe is to maintain the status quo, to live in a world ruled by ignorance, to be resigned to endless poverty, endless violence, and endless injustice.

Perhaps you are a lot like me, which is probably why you are reading this. I came here for this time. I was born to draw in the energies of the Cosmos: Truth, Love and Reconciliation. I am called, now, to stand in my full stature as a son of the Living God. No more excuses! No more waiting for permission! No more waiting for my ship to come in! No more waiting for my partner to finally decide she's ready to join me! No more waiting for elected officials to wake up! It's time to use the power of the spoken word, the power of focused thought, and the power of Divine intention to shift the energies of the world from complacency to co-creation mode.

Yes, we are here to change the world! We are the ones we have been waiting for to ground the higher energies in cooperation with Mother Earth. We are the ones who have been commissioned to facilitate a balance between the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine. It is a time for healing the nations and all the people of the planet. It is a time for reuniting with our space brothers and sisters. The time is now: 2011!

Oh yes, I still feel the pull of fear and the anxiety of my own uncertainty. I have not escaped or transformed negative emotions. I have not overcome all of my sins and shortcomings. I have not mastered some ethereal ability to become perfect in my own eyes – and certainly not in the eyes of anyone else. I am a man; and I continue to experience all of the feelings common to mankind. I am neither better than nor worse than anyone else; yet, I have the grace to remember who and what I am. As I said, I am a son of the Living God – infinite and eternal – with talents, gifts and abilities beyond what I can remember experiencing.

Each of us, whether we want to admit it or not, has experienced the prison of our own ego. It is our ego, after all, that invented the game: playing it safe. As with everything in the manifest world, our ego has a personification. We could put many labels on that representation: the Illuminati, international bankers, Zionists, government, the corporation, the cabal, the military-industrial complex, the elite, the 13 families, etc. It doesn't matter what labels we attach, each one is a description of our own ego. The labels given are the super ego. They are the latent part of our ego that wants to be in control; yet it manifests as something outside of us with higher authority than we recognize in ourselves. While there is another part of our ego that wants to be subservient and acquiescent (safe), which is the practical relation of most people to their ego, that is not the part I'm going to focus on here.

This is not a time to sugarcoat the truth, nor to maintain a Pollyanna attitude toward the world that we live in. Those that have ruled the world for millennia are not anxious to relinquish their illusion of power and their ability to control the world by economic, legal and military means. There is an overwhelming amount of material on the Internet that reveals the nefarious plans they have made to rule the world and control every aspect of human existence, including what we can eat and what we can do to ensure our own health. They are deadly serious. They are also deathly afraid. Had the world remained in ignorance and apathy, their plan would already be mostly fulfilled. They came so close.…

God has a different plan. The Creator has always had a different plan. Yet, God's plan has been dependent upon our awakening. This is a free will zone. According to esoteric knowledge, this is either the fourth or fifth world. That is, we have failed previously, perhaps three or four times. Each time we had to start again. Would we remember? Would we choose to play it safe? Obviously, if the esoteric knowledge is correct, we made the wrong choice in the past.

This time, we stand at a crossroads, once again facing the questions we have faced previously in other worlds and other lifetimes. Our natural tendency is to cling to what is familiar. I don't know how horrific the ego manifestations were in previous worlds, but this time, for anyone that is paying attention, they are horrendous. If everyone was paying attention, that would be a wonderful thing; but not everyone pays attention. Therefore, it's up to us. We have to recognize that our place and our purpose is to stand between the terrorists and the ignorant. We are the ones that must consciously reconcile these extremes within our own being. Make no mistake, both extremes are fear-based. Both see only the illusion, not the reality. This is the matrix in which we live.

In our world, who are the terrorists? If we only pay attention to what we are told by the media, we might falsely assume that the terrorists are merely radical groups of disenfranchised individuals. Nothing could be further from the truth. Disenfranchised individuals are financed by extremely wealthy people. That's right, the real terrorists are billionaires – perhaps even trillionaires. In every conflict, they are neutral. In fact, they finance both sides. You see, their objective has never been for any side to win. Their objective has simply been to maintain conflict. As long as they can sustain clashes between factions, they can continue to maintain their illusion of control. That's their role.

There is no safe place in a world ruled by such perceptions; however, the elite do have one thing right. Neutrality is important. By this, I do not mean the type of neutrality that plays one side against the other. That's how the world we live in was created. The type of neutrality I'm talking about is the objectivity to ascertain that both sides are part of the same coin. In other words, they are both part of me. As long as I allow the conflict to reign within my own being, choosing one part of me against another, the ground for the manifestation of war will continue indefinitely. Yes! I must make a new choice. That new choice can only be to love. I especially must be compassionate to those parts of me that have seemed most problematic and troublesome, like my shadow.

Through the eyes of love, the world appears different. I, the infinite observer, am all and in all. Yes, I know. I have to see the way I imagine God sees. I have to see the world through the eyes of God by seeing myself at least as part of God. This is either the greatest blasphemy or the most incredible wisdom the world has ever known. Of course, it is the latter to me. Not only is it wisdom, it is the meaning of all the world's religions – especially Christianity. To me, this is what Jesus came to show us. Furthermore, it did not get erased from the Bible. "Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus, who being made in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God." That was written by that heretic, the apostle Paul.

If we want to get it right this time, we cannot play it small or safe. I wish I could tell you exactly what to do. I do not even know exactly what I'm supposed to do – other than to live each day with as much integrity as possible. I intend to speak out and speak up – often. I intend to spread the message that resonates with my soul as far and as wide as I am humanly capable. I intend to partner with those with whom I resonate most deeply and most highly. I intend to cooperate with others that I perceive to be doing the very best they can from the purest of motives that I can discern. I intend to use every means available to me. And, finally, I expect the Cosmos to provide me with all the help necessary to accomplish the task of shifting the world from a predominance of darkness and ignorance to a prevalence of truth and compassion.

Yes, I plan to do my part. For 2011, I will not play it safe. I'm claiming this as my year. I'm inviting you to do the same. Claim it as your year. Together, we can and we will change the world – forever. Are you in?

A week ago I wrote an article entitled, 2011: A Year of Massive, Visible Changes. Little did I know when I wrote that article just how quickly those changes would appear in my own life. It was on that same day that I received the notice from the bank's lawyer that they had filed a new motion, which I responded to and posted on my website. Then, two days ago, I wrote another article entitled, Moving the Immovable Object. This will be the fourth posting of my writing in eight days.

I just checked the statistics for my website. Wow! As of 7:30 this morning, I have already received over 10,000 hits from nearly 1,000 different IP addresses. Let's put that into perspective. The most hits I have ever received in a single month since my website began was 14,000 and something. I don't think I ever had a month in which there were 13,000 hits and perhaps six or seven in which there were more than 12,000. There have been many months when my site did not receive 10,000 hits, although I have been averaging over 11,000 hits per month for the past two years. This has been fairly consistent.

There is another anomaly here. Always, always it has been the calendar pages that have received the most hits. For the first time ever, the web page with my articles is at the top of the list – with nearly nine times more hits than the Brevard/Indian River calendar page, which is in third place behind the home page. Whatever the reason, this is a phenomenal explosion of interest in what I am writing. I'm not exactly sure what it means; but it staggers my imagination. I wonder, is it finally my time to shine more brightly?

I have faithfully served the community for many, many years – at no charge. Only within the last two years did I even request donations. I have chosen to live on whatever resources the Universe provided, and somehow this has always been enough – although some would be dumbfounded if they knew how little income I have had in some months. Of course, I have to thank Dr. Mary Horgan from the bottom of my heart and soul. She was the one who believed in me when there were times I had trouble believing in myself. If I've ever met a human being with saintly qualities, she was it. Rarely did I ever hear her complain, even toward the end of her life when she was experiencing severe pain. Rarely did I ever hear her criticize other people – with two exceptions. She did not appreciate people who tried to tell her what to do; and there were two ladies who fell into that category. She did not like their meddling in her affairs, and one was the plaintiff in the lawsuit. Aside from those, I cannot remember her criticizing anyone, and we had many, many conversations.

Since her death in February 2005, and with the advent of the lawsuit, there have been at least two people that told me she did me no favor by asking me to become involved in the creation of her trust, (even though she often said that I was like a son to her). There were times of frustration and fear when I felt that way as well. However, I have not felt that way since late last Spring; in fact, I recognize that she gave me the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me. I do not mean the house that I live in or the personal effects that she left to me. I mean the lawsuit.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fairly certain that she did not foresee the lawsuit coming. Had she done so, I'm sure she would have tried to protect me. In fact, had I seen it coming, there are a couple of things that I would've done differently to protect myself better. Nevertheless, it is what it is; and being forced to learn the law and the way the world works has been the most empowering thing that I've ever experienced in my life. I wrote about this in the article two days ago (and other articles before that), so I will not belabor the point again.

One of the massive, visible changes I expect to see in 2011 is the reestablishment of governmental sovereignty, as well as individual, personal sovereignty. Many people may rightly ask, has not our government always been sovereign? No! United States sovereignty was stolen nearly 100 years ago by an elite cabal of international bankers. In setting up the Federal Reserve, US sovereignty was lost and the Republic was put in mothballs. That cabal of bankers literally owned our government. It became the best government money could buy; and it no longer served the people. From that time to the present, it serves the interest of the powerful and wealthy cabal. With the awakening, that will change! Competition and service to self that is exemplified in the attitude of the elite will give way to an era of cooperation and service to the greater good of humanity. It's already happening.

There is currently a group of people, mostly Christians, that are working diligently to reestablish a transition government based on the Constitution. This is a peaceful revolution based on common law using lawful means to overturn the coup d'éta by the bankers. Leaders are volunteering to fill vacated offices in the Republic of the united States of America as well as the states of the union. No, these vacancies are not being filled by elected officials. Again, they are volunteers. What impresses me most about the interim president, Mr. Tim Turner, is that he recognizes and admonishes his followers that freedom cannot and must not be limited by ideology – not even solely Christian beliefs. For it to have any hope of success, this viewpoint is imperative. We certainly do not need the establishment of a theocracy. I don't believe that is what they are trying to do, although I am also certain that some within their ranks may hold that vision. It is a vision of the human ego, not of Divine Spirit.

I know there are people already who have strong opinions about Mr. Turner and his attempts at reestablishing the Republic of the united States. Personally, I held some negative opinions about him myself. I still don't like the fact that he charges for truth. To me, putting a price tag on truth is anathema to the principles of Jesus as well as the principles by which my own life has been guided. Yet, I know that it still takes money to accomplish many things in this world. Therefore, I will view his efforts and those of his friends with as much grace as possible. At least they are doing something, which is more than I can say for a lot of us.

I don't know what the massive changes are going to look like or exactly how they will come into place. This I do know: big changes are inevitable. What we need – what humanity needs – is for people with the heart of a servant to be willing to step up and do whatever it takes to establish peace on earth. I am certainly willing to play my part and do whatever I can do to allow Spirit to reign in my own life, guiding me with synchronicities as I begin each new day with hopeful expectation. I expect miracles this year. I will allow whatever form they take to surprise me – like the explosion of interest in my website.

I encourage each person who reads this to be willing, to be willing to open your mind, your heart and your life to whatever you call the Divine. We have the opportunity before us to move with a Flow that is greater than any of us individually. That Flow is both creative and evolutionary. It is Life itself, creating a mutation in the manner in which our Soul expresses itself in our physical reality. I don't believe any of us know exactly what form or process this will take. All we have to do – and this is no easy task – is to allow ourselves to be emptied of preconceived ideas and notions about how it is supposed to look. An ancient sage once said, "As long as you are full of your own ideas, you'll never get anything else in." Be empty, and ask that you be filled with Divine Spirit.

I close with another famous quote, this one by Albert Einstein. " We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Are you willing to allow yourself to think more clearly, love more unconditionally, live more passionately and act with greater purpose than ever before in your life? I believe many, many people will answer: YES! This will bring about significant, massive and visible changes in 2011. We certainly live in interesting times.

Modern scientists look at stone monuments around the world, with some stones weighing several tons each, and they wonder: how did the ancients build these? Even with our "advanced" technology, we would be hard-pressed to duplicate their feat. Nevertheless, the results stand mute, staring us in the face. They did it!

Many human beings look at the entrenched governments in our world, realizing that they do not serve the people they claim to serve. There was a time, not that many years ago, when most people actually believed whatever the government told them. That time has ended with the advent of the Internet and the free exchange of ideas around the world. Now, a significant number of people know that governments are bought and paid for by a relative handful of extremely wealthy individuals. Those individuals we call "the elite" have long had a vision of ruling the world with absolute authority. Because of their wealth and the apparent power it gives them, they seem like an immovable object. Yet, despite the fact that they seem entrenched, they shall be moved.

When the lawsuit hit me in mid-2005, I felt there must be some mistake. At first I had trouble believing that the courts would ever allow such a frivolous contention as that made by the plaintiffs. I was certainly incorrect. As the weeks turned into months, the system seemed more and more like an immovable object to me. I felt as if I was in way over my head. That's why I relied on lawyers – first one, then a second one. I actually believed they were there to serve me. Again, I was incorrect. I came to realize that attorneys, for the most part, only serve themselves. They were simply another element of the entrenched system that seemed like an immovable object.

After the second lawyer was dismissed from the case when I was unable to pay his outrageous bill, I began to study the law. I uncovered many things, including the fact that there is always remedy within the law; and the immovable object is never as intractable as it seems. Oh, yes, they do have an air of arrogance and superiority; but I have come to see that it is all a charade. The only authority they actually have is derived from the ignorance of the general population; for you see, governments do derive their power from the governed. And only when the governed are content within their ignorance, and apathetic about their situation, can the government retain its illusion of authority. Once people begin to wake up and educate themselves, the immovable object seems a whole lot less formidable.

As I learned about the power of the notarized affidavit, I began to shift things in my favor. I empowered myself with knowledge of the law; and I secured my property rights that they were trying to steal from me. I was even able to recover many intangible rights that they had stolen from me in my ignorance. With the filing of my UCC-1, I had built a legal framework that restored my sovereignty as an individual human being. Truly, I was able to create a solid foundation upon which I could stand with a fairly high level of confidence.

Now, I'm not going to tell you that the immovable object went away. I wish I could. They still attempt to use their power of intimidation against me. However, it doesn't work anymore. Even as the attorney representing the bank involved in the case admitted that they had "lost" the note, and asked the court to allow them to use the copy as if it were an original, it was almost laughable to me. I know that the legal society in which attorneys and judges operate see the people as stupid; yet I wonder how they can be so stupid as well. Do they not pay attention to the news—even mainstream news? Do they not realize how widespread the information about bank fraud has become? Apparently not. She, the bank's lawyer, made her second, unlawful motion in less than a year. Without holding the original note, the bank has no lawful standing before the court; and to make a motion without documentation constitutes fraud on the court. Give me a break, these are attorneys. They're supposed to know the law. They do; they are simply blinded by greed and empowered by the ignorance of the vast majority of people who let them get away with it most of the time.

While I may be a solitary individual, knowing that I am a sovereign levels the playing field for me. Actually, it tilts it in my favor. From where do I derive such confidence? It's more than simply knowing who I am and what my rights are. You see, I also know what time it is. The paradigm is changing. The shift of the ages is happening right now. The immovable object is being moved!

That's right, folks, we have a ringside seat as we watch the world change in front of us. Already we can see the cracks appearing in the entrenched structure of the system—unless we are totally oblivious to the world around us. Those cracks, to the perceptual individual, are appearing right where they belong: in the global financial network. The old cliché, he who has the gold makes the rules, has been the way the world works. Has been! The downfall of the system is that they no longer have the gold. It has been replaced with paper – intrinsically worthless paper. Of course, as long as we have people who believe the paper is valuable, the system goes forward. However, the banking crisis caused by foreclosure fraud is revealing something very significant.

Here's how it works, folks. In a credit-based economy, which is what we have, money is created by a borrower. It does not exist until someone is willing to put their name on an agreement; and actually it's not even their name. It's a STRAWMAN. What is a strawman? By definition, it is a legal fiction. It is a CORPORATION. It can be a Corporation of one, i.e., an individual, or it can be a company of people. In either case, it is a legal fiction – just like our money! The entire structure is based on a lie, and it cannot survive the light of truth. Those pieces of paper, which includes so-called contracts that are never signed by the lending institutions, are valuable only when we remain willing to serve the lie by paying them. But, you say, they loaned me money. No they didn't. That's the lie. You loaned them money! They turned right around and sold your promissory note to greedy people that wanted to get something for nothing, and they got derivatives – more worthless paper – from YOUR so-called loan. Always remember: your note is money! To the banks, it is an asset, not a liability. That's how the system works; and all along we've been paying them for the privilege of having them deceive us.

The truth is, the only thing that has any value in our world, from an economic aspect, is individual creativity and productivity. We the people are the only ones who can give value to anything. And, for the most part, those who sit in ivory towers with all "the money" are neither creative nor productive. They are simply master deceivers, con artists that have perfected the art of fraud. Don't get me wrong, they are very good at what they do. After all, they have convinced the entire world to serve them. It's a pretty good job, if you get away with it.

The question each of us must ask ourself is this: Am I willing to let them continue to get away with it? An even more important question: Am I finally willing to stand in my truth and take responsibility for my own life? Our answers to these questions will determine just how quickly we will move the apparently immovable object. You see, it does not depend on them. It never did. It has always been the base of the pyramid that supports the pinnacle; yet somehow we have collectively bought in to the lie that it is the other way around. How many times have you heard it said that we need the rich because they are the ones that create the jobs? Not true! In America, they have been the ones that have been destroying jobs for decades now—at least three decades! Can you not see this? This is what they call globalization and privatization. It's all about their vision of a new world order; and their illusion that they are separate from everyone else…not only separate, but superior.

This is how the matrix was built: on illusions and lies. Here's the truth: all men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights…. They are not superior to us; and neither are we to them. We are all related, regardless of the family tree. It is this realization, this consciousness, that levels the playing field and moves apparent mountains into the sea.

I suspect that most of the ancient monuments that we see in our world today were constructed during a previous Golden Age. Golden ages are the natural result of a paradigm of unity: I am my brother's keeper. What I do to my brother and my sister, I do to me. It is this attitude that enables us to live in peace, and it is living in peace that enables us to unleash the wellsprings of our own creativity, and produce heaven on earth. This is the energy that is now enveloping Planet Earth. It is the energy of the transformation of human consciousness from which a new humanity is being birthed.

The immovable objects are you and me. Are we really immovable? I know we can be stubborn. I know that each of us has a natural tendency to believe that all of our perceptions are true. I also know, by looking at my own life, that many things I thought were true in the past no longer hold that sacred quality. I was deceived; and I made my deception easier by often refusing to think outside the box and to look beyond the walls of my own belief system. That's the prison in which I lived; and I called it home. That's the definition I gave to myself; and I called it freedom. But I was wrong. I was always more that I thought I was: more intelligent, more powerful, wiser, wealthier. Yet, I settled for being less. And in being less, the illusion seemed all-powerful.

What about you? Are you so set in your ways and beliefs that you cannot even entertain the possibility that you could be mistaken or deceived? If so, you are an immovable object; nevertheless, I tell you the truth: you shall be moved. No matter how stubborn and intransigent you are now, lies can never stand the test of time. All deceptions will succumb to truth. That is simply the way of it, regardless of how it may seem to the contrary. There is no such thing as an immovable object, and no such thing as impossible.

In my life, the immovable object of my weakness gave way to greater strength. The immovable object of the lawsuit and the system it represents is giving way to greater freedom – not only for me, but for all those whose lives I touch. Ultimately, I touch everyone's life, for there is only one life here, and it is called: Creation remembering that it is the Creator. That is the evolution of consciousness: from the microcosm to the macrocosm, as above so below, as within so without. The only truth is unity. The only reality is love. Namaste.

For those who think 2010 was a significant year of change, hang on! Before 2011 is over, we will look back at 2010 and think we were standing still.

According to the best interpretation of Mayan Calendar information, the entire ninth step in the evolution of consciousness will take place in 260 days: basically, from March through October 2011. Unlike most Mayan calendar teachers, Dr. Carl Calleman does not buy into the December 21, 2012 theories. He studied the information as a scientist, and came to a different conclusion, with October 28, 2011 being the completion date. Many other teachers who have looked at his information are in agreement. I am one of those, purely on the basis of resonance.

Each of the nine steps in the evolution of consciousness has a theme. The theme for the eighth step that we are just completing is that ethics and integrity would overtake the lust for power and greed. I think it's fair to say that we have witnessed many examples that capture even mainstream attention in regard to the financial system of the world, a system rife with fraud and corruption. Once something becomes known, it can never again be stuffed back into the box. What is revealed is revealed; and the lies will no longer work. This is not to say that there are no longer any people who believe the lies. Many are so set in their ways that they would not recognize the truth if you beat them over the head with it. Their disillusionment will continue in 2011; at least until.... (We'll get to that soon.)

The theme for 2011 is conscious co-creation. Together, we will be creating an entirely new system based on the paradigm of openness and transparency. It is also a paradigm of unity.

Unity is difficult to imagine when you look at the world around us. Opinions are as diverse as the multitude of perspectives from which we view reality. How can we possibly attain unity within such a diverse field of experience and observation?

There have always been unseen energies that impinge upon our visible reality. Many world religions have referred to these energies as angels. In more modern vernacular, these are referred to as extraterrestrials, or ETs for short. Those who look at the evidence, going way back in human history, come to the conclusion that there are many ancient records of Earth being visited by beings from the sky. Many cultures referred to these visitors as gods.

Open-minded scientists and researchers in today's world recognize an exponential increase in the activity of beings from other dimensions that are involved in events happening now on planet Earth. Yes, there has been a strong desire to keep this information from the public on behalf of the powers that be – the proverbial Man behind the curtain. However, many nations have already released their UFO files to the public. The United States still has not followed suit, with its leaders grasping with great determination to prevent widespread disclosure from occurring. What are they afraid of?

The truth is, our history, as we have been told it, is a lie. From the very foundations of world religions to the structures of modern governments, the truth has not been told. Irrefutable evidence and revelation of facts will transform everything. Perhaps that will be the big change in 2011. Disclosure, not only of the of the fact that we are not alone in the universe, but more importantly the reality of the deep involvement of ETs throughout our history, will shift the paradigm of reality virtually overnight. Faced with undeniable proof, mankind will have little choice but to see the world with new eyes. It will be the overwhelming display, often referred to as first contact, of ET presence that will create unity very quickly.

Not everyone is ready to buy into this; nevertheless, the critical mass has already been exceeded. What is the critical mass? Scientists tell us it is the square root of 1% of the world's population. Rounded off to the nearest thousand, that would be a little over 8000 people*. That's all it takes to shift the entire human race. From a biblical perspective, perhaps it's the 144,000, that enigmatic number that brings the Kingdom of Heaven to earth. In truth, I think even that number has been exceeded. Whatever the number, we have crossed the threshold of the point of no return. The Word has been made flesh, and the manifestation of the Golden Age is here now, unfolding day by day.

As a seer, I can sense the struggle taking place right now in the human population. I know how hard it is for people of many faiths to even consider the possibility that some of their precious doctrines may be in error. Nevertheless, incongruent beliefs will, of necessity, fall apart. So much that has been built into our belief systems has been included for a specific purpose: to disempower the average person and keep them subservient to the control of those who would be masters over them.

The big lie has been easy to sell, since it coincides so well with our physical observation. That lie is separation. I look at my body; then I look at yours. Obviously, we are not one. I am me; and you are you. And every other person is also separate from me and you. However, this paradigm presupposes that only that which is visible is real. Modern mystics, called quantum physicists, have demonstrated scientifically that the world we see is only a small fraction of the world that exists. In other words, reality is mostly invisible to us.

That which we have been unable – and in many cases unwilling – to see is going to be made abundantly clear to everyone as the invisible becomes more obvious. Can you see, or at least begin to see, how quickly this revelation will be able to shift everything? It will be as if higher compartments of our minds are suddenly opened, revealing our blind spots. Most of us will ask ourselves: "Why couldn't I see this before? It's so obvious!" ... Everything in its time!

The hidden treasure within each of us will soon be revealed to all except the most hardhearted and stubborn minded individuals. That treasure is what the world religions have always pointed to. It is the Christ, or the Divine within each of us. Can you begin to imagine what we will be able to create together, knowing that the God Spirit is in everyone; and it has never had anything to do with one's religion? Whether you can imagine it yet or not, this is what will happen, or at least begin to happen on a large scale in 2011. This is why 2011 will make 2010 look as if it wasn't going anywhere; yet, in truth, each step in the evolution of consciousness builds for the next step. Everything that ever has been, has been building to a grand climax of ecstatic revelation: the revelation of Christ as ALL and in all.

The promises of God are: Yes… and Amen (so be it). The Creator has always had a purpose for Creation. That purpose has not always been easy to determine, and even more difficult to see. As the plan has unfolded, most of us have only been able to see the chaos. Conflict has seemed to rule the day; and making sense of the whole thing has been well-nigh impossible. Yet, those who have been able to see from the other side have always told us that there was meaning. These were able to see, if only in flashing glimpses, that a grand plan was underway. We've called them prophets or shamans; and each of them with an honest heart always told what they felt, saw or heard. They have spoken in every culture and in every age. They were the Voice of God, inspired to speak to their generation.

I'm not about to tell you that any of them were perfect – far from it. They were men and women, just like you and me, who had to deal with all of the perplexities of their individual lives and still make sense of their dreams and visions that often contradicted what they saw in the physical world. These are those that have held the dream alive within the human family. As the Spirit of the Living God brings these gifted men and women together, a new world will be born. These are the co-creators responsible for the time in which we live; for we are the ones that have searched for a city that has foundations, whose builder and maker is God. We are the ones who have often been despised and rejected of men.

Yet, in a very real sense, we are only eyes in the body. We are important, yes, we are. However, we cannot do it alone. Everyone must find his and her part in this Body of Humanity that is being transformed, day by day, in ways that will manifest more clearly in 2011. We are talking about a new humanity here. That which was impossible before will be soon possible again. We're about to see the Son of God with new eyes; and as I look at this beautiful creature made without hands, my eyes fill with tears. The whole cosmos marvels at the magnificence of the Word Made Flesh, multiplied to infinity – a multitude that no man can number (or at least count). To me, this is the real meaning of the second coming of Christ. And all the world shall see Him, and be like Him.

Let each with eyes to see and a heart to love rejoice. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. 2011 is our year. "Behold, I make all things new!" says the Lord Most High. Namaste.

* The square root of 1% of 7 billion people is 8,367. The estimated population, however, is 6.67 billion; and the squart root of 1% is 8,167.

No one comes to the Father but by me!" Those are perhaps the words of Jesus that have been most misunderstood and used most divisively throughout human history. Families have been divided and nations have gone to war, non-Christian civilizations have been brutalized and even exterminated by those claiming to be the true followers of Jesus Christ.... This is not going to be an easy piece for me to write.

I was raised as a fundamentalist Christian, memorizing many scriptures throughout my life. Yes, I am well aware of scriptures used to justify even the most barbaric behavior. Supposedly Jesus also said, "Think not that I have come to bring peace, I came to bring a sword and to set a man at variance with those of his own household." That is my own paraphrase, from memory, of a portion from Matthew chapter 10; but I'm sure it is pretty close to what has been written.

The human ego, suffering from delusions of separation, has long been a master liar. The extent of its ability to fabricate all sorts of justifications has known few bounds. History is replete with an innumerable amount of stories, both told and untold, of savage inhumanity within the human family. Many of these stories have to do with religion; and perhaps none are more brutal and bloody than those instigated in the name of Christ. (At least those are the ones that come to mind for me.) From the Crusades to the near extermination of hundreds of cultures around the world, supposedly to further the spreading of the gospel of Jesus Christ, Christianity* has likely been the most bloodthirsty and warlike religion in the history of the world. What a travesty! All in the name of one called: The Prince of Peace!

I remain a Christian – not because of the Christian religion, but because of the Son of Man, who taught us all that we are sons and daughters of the Living God. Yes, I know there are scholars who do not believe that a historical Jesus ever existed; but I do not believe that. I cannot, nor would I erase the impact Jesus has had on my life personally; nor do I have any problem seeing him as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. To me, he is still the Prince of Peace, despite the fanatics using his name that are anything but peaceful.

This may seem like a contradiction to many. Here's what I believe happened. The teachings of Jesus within the first few centuries following his life were co-opted by secular powers in the Roman Empire and manipulated to serve those with visions of grandeur and world domination. Some of the best scriptures available were purposefully omitted from the official canon of scripture. Other texts were altered, often reversing their meaning altogether. We were left with texts that were not only contradictory, some were blatantly false and purposefully misleading. I used to see some of these as mere paradoxes; now, reflecting on the history of great abuse, I'm not so sure. Some, like the scripture quoted above from Matthew chapter 10, seem like purposeful plants to reap a harvest of war throughout history. Certainly such scriptures have not promoted peace on earth or goodwill toward men. Still, I do see the Bible as containing God-inspired truths.

Of course not! As with every ideology, you have the extremists. In Christianity, as well as many other faiths, those who interpret their sacred texts literally, called fundamentalists, tend to be the most ignorant, the most unloving and the most intolerant humans on the planet. I know that's a harsh judgment; and it comes from a man raised among fundamentalist Christians in a family of ministers and missionaries.

Yes, I do know fundamentalist Christians that are sincere in trying to serve God to the best of their understanding and ability. They are not bad people. There is nothing wrong with them other than a belief system that offers no flexibility. They are thoroughly brainwashed, such that they fear thinking outside of the box. To these, even logic itself is suspect. Imprisoned by their own rigorous dogmas, they seem virtually incapable of reasonable dialogue without resorting to one of their many supposed truisms, like the one at the top of this article. The concept of determining the spiritual meaning of a statement is totally foreign to their thinking. Let me illustrate what I mean.

"I am…" This is a name of God. In fact, it's more than just a name. It is an all-inclusive statement of being. Based on the accepted gospels that have come down to us, Jesus began many of his statements with the words: I am. To the literalist, he was speaking of himself alone; yet, from a spiritual perspective, he could not have been speaking only as a solitary human being. He was speaking as God. Fundamentalist Christians would have no problem with what I've said so far; however, what I am about to say would make most squirm.

Yes, he was speaking as God because he realized that he was God. Son of Man and Son of God were synonymous. Still, the average Bible believing Christian would be with me. Yet, most lack the critical thinking ability to put it into context. The fundamentalists of his day, the Pharisees, wanted to stone him when he made the statement, "Before Abraham was, I am." To them, he was making himself equal with God, which, from their dogmatic understanding, was nothing short of blasphemy, a crime punishable by death. In fact, that is what they ultimately did to Jesus, if the record has any semblance of truth, which I believe it does.

How did Jesus respond? He understood their understanding. He knew where they were coming from. He quoted their scriptures back to them, reminding them that their beloved psalmist, King David, wrote, "You are gods!" He threw their literalness back into their faces. I'm going to do the same thing to those fundamentalist Christians that may choose to read what I'm writing here.

Like Jesus, I can make the statement: "I am the way, the truth and the life; no man comes to the Father but by me." As in his day, modern fundamentalists would want to stone me, if not with pieces of granite, certainly with insults and accusations. And what am I doing? I am doing what St. Paul admonished me to do in the Bible. He wrote, "Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus, who, being made in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God." I only did what I was authorized to do by the very scriptures that fundamentalists claim to follow – whenever it suits them. However, this way of using scriptures may not suit them at all.

I'll go one step further. Not only can I make the statement, so can every other human being on the planet. Jesus, if he taught anything at all, taught that the things he could do, we all could do. Yes, it's in the scriptures. He did not put himself on a pedestal above us; we put him on a pedestal above us so that we would not have to take the responsibility of living up to our capabilities and the potentialities inherent within our very being. As long as he was God and we weren't, we were off the hook. We could bask in our lie of separation consciousness and excuse ourselves from ever becoming fulfilled, while always waiting for someone outside of us to come and save us. We could continue to create all sorts of delusions by calling our fear, love. In fact, we could continue to subvert the meaning of all sorts of words into their exact opposite. That's the game we've created.

This is what the ego does when it is ruled by a belief that it is separate from everyone and everything else. There are no exceptions to this. Now, does this mean the ego is bad? Of course not! Only the ego that is ruled by that belief! If, on the other hand, the ego recognizes that it is interconnected in a web of life to every other person and every other thing – then the ego is whole, unified with the great I am. From this perspective, the blasphemy becomes the greatest statement of truth: I and my Father (and Mother) are One! Jesus said it. So can we.

It frustrates me, and I feel a great sadness to realize that there are still people in our world that are unable or unwilling to stretch their minds and open their hearts to perceive the bigger picture. The Cosmic Lights are coming on all over. Everything that's been hidden is now being exposed. All the conspiracies of the ages are being revealed, for, indeed, this is the Apocalypse. This is the Revelation of the Christ. And what is the Christ? The Christ is, as the Bible claims, the Firstborn of all Creation. It is not a single individual. It is an energetic spiritual pattern of reality. It is a form of consciousness – no, it is Consciousness itself!

Jesus got frustrated with his disciples when they could not understand the simple truths he was making known to them. It remains so in our generation. However, our generation has more light than those of his generation. Indeed, knowledge has abounded. What kind of knowledge though? There is only one true knowledge, which is simply: the Truth. Lies masquerading as knowledge are not knowledge at all, they are only deceptions.

Regardless of how it looks to the average person, we stand on the threshold of being able to achieve peace on earth for the first time in a very long and tumultuous history. The vibrations of the very planet and everything upon it and within it are being raised. The highest vibration of all is love. The lowest vibration is fear. Love is expansive and all-encompassing. Fear contracts and separates everything from everything else. Understanding this is wisdom. Failing to understand it is the illusion called death.

God has never been in the business of separation. Even the Bible declares that God did not create hell. On the contrary, only those who want to be separate create hell for themselves to experience. And God, by his infinite grace, allows the universe to rearrange itself to conform to the individual's perception of reality. Thus, hell exists! It is not real; yet, the experience of it is certainly real. Every human on the planet has experienced it, for indeed, we have been living on a planet of the lie: the lie of separation. That is the only reason for the atrocities. That is the why we experience so much turmoil and strife in our lives. It is only through our own ignorance of who we are and how interconnected we are with all of Life that we can continue to allow mankind's inhumanity, not only to Man, but to all Life.

Yes, I came to bring peace, not a false peace as the world has understood it: a temporary easing of hostility, but a peace that is permanent because it is anchored in the reality of your own soul. I have come to heal the wounds we have each received in the home of our brothers and sisters. I have come to encourage you to beat your swords into plowshares and to learn war no more. I, who speak this to you, am the eternal Christ. Before Abraham was, I am. Before Jesus of Nazareth existed, I am. Before Ron Van Dyke wrote this down, I am. And so, are you!

How much time do you need? How long will it take you to see and finally understand? We have forever here. You can have as much hell as you need. As many lifetimes as it takes for you to wake up, I will give them to you. New bodies, new identities, new families, new cultures, new religions, new worlds… you can have whatever you need, whatever you choose. It's your call. It's always been your call. I can shine the Light for you; but I will never force you to open your eyes and see. That is a decision you must make for yourself. It is your responsibility.

This question comes up. The answer is: Yes, and no! There is no death…no such thing. All that exists is energy constantly changing its form. The death of Jesus was an allegory, a parable if you will. It was and is a myth with meaning. It means that God loves you, forgives you and is always ready to welcome you into paradise – just like the thief on the cross. This is an eternal truth beyond time and space, beyond religion and ideology, beyond belief and unbelief. For you see, Jesus realized who he was while living in his body. He awakened to the fact he was the Christ, the Eternal Son of the Living God. But he was not alone, nor was it ever intended that he be alone. You are his brother; you are his sister – and you always have been. He died as all do, for the sin of believing in separation, though he had overcome that sin himself, which is why he could return from death...as you all will...eventually.

A new heaven and a new earth await. In your current world these are ready to come into view very soon. You cannot take your old ideas of separation into these new worlds of manifestation. The frequencies simply will not permit it. If you choose to hang on to your fundamentalist viewpoints, and fail to see the spiritual meaning of the scriptures that were indeed inspired, you will be sorely disappointed. Please open your heart and your mind, allowing yourself to see from a higher perspective. I love you, but no more than I love any of the other of my children. I cannot save you, if you harden your heart by believing you already have all the answers. Accept the fact that you have been blind while claiming to see. Forgive yourself. Here is the paradox: when you acknowledge your blindness, you will see. That, my friends, is the way of it. By embracing your darkness, you become enlightened.

A great celebration is planned! It is a homecoming celebration. This, my son, was blind, but now he sees; he was dead, but now he lives again. Welcome home prodigal son and prodigal daughter. I have always loved you! And my love is the way, the truth and the life. It is the way of the heart. It's the ONLY way home.

* The big three: Judaism, Christianity and Islam all have quite a bloodthirsty past. It was the Christians, however, that started the Crusades and turned Islam from a religion that honored "People of the Book" into one that had to defend itself with countless wars. Today, Islam has become the scapegoat of the western world; but it is still those with aspirations of world conquest that terrorize the world using religion against religion.

As the changes occur at an accelerated pace in the structures of our human society, it is important to receive guidance that is balanced and up to date. Otherwise, many will get caught up in fearing the changes rather than understanding and welcoming them. A major source of guidance for me is channeling. Almost on a daily basis I listen to or read channeled messages.

Many people in our culture have been thoroughly brainwashed about channeled messages. Those within institutional religions that have been around for a long time are taught by their leaders that God revealed the truth many years ago as recorded in whatever collection of sacred writings is held in esteem by that religion. Of course, all sacred texts can be considered channeled messages. God, or angelic beings spoke, and human scribes wrote down that which was dictated, or so it is often understood. However, in order to maintain "doctrinal purity" and control, it was and is necessary to have God shut up. It's quite all right for the powers that be to allow belief in channeled messages that are anything other than current. Nevertheless, it is seen as a threat to the powers that be to have information coming through from higher dimensions that could potentially upset the apple cart and challenge the status quo.

In our modern culture, channeled messages abound. They are everywhere to be found by those who look for them. From my perspective, these range from virtually useless to truly inspirational. My assessment is based on gut feeling or intuition. Does it resonate with me or not? That is the unspoken question I ask whenever I am listening to or reading a channeled message.

I already know the arguments that have come to me from Christian friends. "You can't use yourself as a guideline to determine truth," they say. "You can only trust in something that is objective, not subjective."

So, my Christian friends, consider this. Writers in the New Testament challenged writers in the Old Testament fairly often. Even Jesus said, "You have heard it said by those of old times… But I say unto you…" Apparently, Jesus was either being subjective himself, or he was hearing from God in a fresh new way that would clarify old beliefs. Yes, I know that was 2000 years ago before they told God to shut up. And just who is this "they" that displayed such arrogance? Why, it is you! Yes, you that want to be so objective are, in effect, telling God to shut up. Think about it. Is this why the apostle Paul wrote, "The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life"? One more question: Why can't you trust the Christ that is in you or the Holy Spirit that Jesus promised would guide you into all truth?

Over the years I have come to accept and appreciate certain channels, pretty much reject others, and hold still others in a fairly neutral position. I regularly post messages from those channels that provide the highest resonance for me. Those channels include: John Smallman, Sheldon Nidle, Mike Quinsey, Suzy Ward, and Lee Carroll. It's not that I agree 100% with everything these channels say; but I do feel alignment with their spirit. (These are not the only channelers that may resonate with me, only the ones with whom I am most familiar. I also like Blossom Goodchild and Magenta Pixie, among others.)

The first four channels on that list are very active, posting new messages at least monthly. That which sets them apart from other channels is the fact that they address the world as it really is from the human standpoint while providing the higher perspective of events and circumstances. They do not avoid dealing with the economic and geopolitical realities everywhere present in our world. To me, this is critically important to get a balanced view of where we stand in our evolutionary process.

Lee Carroll is distinct from the other four in that he rarely addresses political realities. Normally, that would cause me to place him in a more neutral position in my thinking; however, I feel he is so in tune with the Holy Spirit that I cannot do this. Furthermore, he addresses scientific issues that few other channels address. This is as important to me as political and economic commentary.

There are several other channels whose work I find to be of value, who, nevertheless, tend to be more airy fairy in their approach. By airy fairy I mean that they almost never address anything that might be considered negative. I perceive this as both unbalanced and potentially misleading, especially for those individuals that do not avail themselves of the broader perspective. These are people in what I call the positive-mental-attitude mindset. This mindset is anything but positive, since it rejects and denies intellectual and emotional realities that all humans must face. It virtually invalidates human experience, causing its adherents to live their lives in a realm of wishful thinking rather than from a more holistic and psychologically healthier viewpoint. Again, I'm not saying that this group of channelers are not providing information that is of value. What I am saying is that their messages cannot be taken as standalone messages. They need to be combined with messages that are more broadly inclusive.

Then there are other channelers whose messages tend to be very fear-based. These messages are filled with cataclysm, destruction of reality as we have known it, and with some kind of a miraculous leap that lacks physical continuity, like being swallowed by a black hole and coming out the other side reborn with all the old swept away. While they may envision a world very similar to that which I envision, they make a leap that does not resonate at all with me. One of my sayings is: "You can't get there from there." To me, without continuity, no lesson can possibly be learned. Perhaps not everyone does it this way, but I learn from being able to connect this with that and seeing the relationship between them. When I am unable to do this, there is a natural separation that occurs – a dissonance if you will. To me, separation is the only illusion that we have to deal with in this stage of our evolution. There is no such thing as separation in an interconnected Cosmos, nor can there ever be. Therefore, any channeler that teaches separation as the way of change is a false prophet. I categorically reject them as being of the old order and the doomed ideologies of false religions still based on separation.

I cannot make you or anyone see things the way that I do. Ey that I do. Each of you will think whatever you choose to think. However, I highly encourage you to adopt as broad a perspective as you are capable of embracing. Please keep your heart and mind open. Do your best to not get caught up in all the fear mongering taking place on our planet. Our future, as I see it, is glorious. Yes, it is a quantum leap that we are making, which I know will seem perplexing to those that read the previous paragraph. The quantum leap is this: we are moving dramatically from the paradigm of separation into the paradigm of unity. That is a huge jump! Nevertheless, it takes place in our consciousness alone; and it does not require the destruction of any of the creations we made while we were in separation consciousness. I believe those creations will continue to stand until we are able to assimilate the full meaning of the lessons they were designed to teach us...and WE designed them for that.

To me, there is absolutely nothing that needs to be eliminated other than our disconnected thinking, that is, our separation consciousness. Maybe I am wrong, but that is the way I see it. How you choose to see it is up to you. I do encourage you though, to consider what is being revealed by some very good channelers. It just might help you to be calmer as we undergo significant changes in our ideological structures (ways of seeing and thinking). Namaste.

It's only the way we've been conditioned to believe that it is. That's right; the entire human race has been trained, hypnotized if you will, to perceive things in a certain way and to not even look at or for other things, other possibilities. It's not just some of us; all of us have been infected with the malady of limited perception. What appears real is only part of the much bigger picture; and, it is most often deceptively portrayed as something it is not.

I have no way of knowing this in an absolute sense, but I believe every one of us reaches places in our lives where we think we've finally gotten it figured out. Then, as we proceed a little farther down the path, what we thought we knew turns out to be quite different. There may be individuals and even groups of people in indigenous societies where this is not the case; however, I believe there is a high probability that most people in the modern world have experienced this.

Western civilization has made its imprint in every part of the world – not only the West, but the East as well. This left brain rationalism has induced neuroticism and made it endemic in the human population. We are a driven people that have lost our way. What's going on? What am I supposed to think? What should I do? Who am I? Questions, many questions haunt us. We are driven first this way, then that way, all in an attempt to find meaning and to feel as if we fit in somewhere. Or, some just throw up their hands and make no effort to find anything except the next high that may give a respite from the perplexity of life. Is there meaning, a purpose to all this madness?

Yes, I believe there is. A part of me knows it is true. However, being a neurotic human, I have never been too far removed from my doubts and skepticism either. Like it or not, that is the nature of the collective consciousness, which, until relatively recently, was pretty much unconscious. Most merely followed their routines from birth to death, generation to generation. That seems to be changing. What is happening, I believe, is that the Soul of Mankind is awakening. Human culture is being transformed as it undergoes a process of psychic and spiritual metamorphosis. No one on the planet, in fact no thing on the planet, will be exempt from the changes that are taking place, if my gut feelings have any relevance.

This has been called the shift of the ages, the dawning of the age of Aquarius, and other labels. To me, it is the culmination of a 16 billion year cycle in the evolution of consciousness. I do not only mean human consciousness either. I mean Consciousness itself. The Creator, expressed as manifest Creation, is knowing itself for the first time. The manifest God, if you will, is evolving as Creation reaches the apex of its destiny. This is why I say: the way it is, or at least the way it appears to be – isn't that way at all! There's more going on here than meets the eye; and the transformation occurring is exponential.

Yes, things are changing that fast; and we haven't seen anything yet. It has been written, "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the heart of Man the things that God has prepared for those that love Him." I would change one thing with that statement. God has not prepared these things so much only for those that love Him, as for those He loves. And who does God love? Is it conceivable that God would not love His entire creation? I don't think so. My heart cannot conceive of a God that is not all-loving or of a love that is conditional. Conditional love is an oxymoron.

While I have used masculine pronouns so far in referring to God, I am more aware than ever of the importance of the feminine aspects of Deity. It is the reawakening of the nurturing Goddess that comes, first as Kali, the destroyer, to tear asunder all that is not real and eternal, for the express purpose of embracing and fostering that which is immortal. It is the stirrings of the Divine Child within the Womb of the Great Mother that we are feeling and experiencing as she prepares to give birth to a new Humanity in a new world. It is certainly a most exciting time to be alive; yet at the same time, for those who are clueless as to what is happening, it is a fearful time indeed.

Fear is the natural result of ignorance. When we do not know something, especially when we are aware that we do not know it, it produces uneasiness that we feel as fear and anxiety. We have been well-trained in our culture to fear fear: "There is nothing to fear but fear itself!" Perhaps it might be better to try to understand it. Without understanding it, it controls us. However, once we perceive its reason for being here, we can begin to understand the why. The why is simple: we are going where we've never been before. There's nothing bad, and nothing wrong. It's all part of the process, the evolution of consciousness ... and the way it has been is not the way it will be. Right now we are living in the time of awakening to the reality that the way it is – isn't going to be that way any more. Almost nothing is what we have thought it was. No wonder the earth and its people are so restless. The caterpillar is becoming a butterfly, and does not understand why it feels as if it's dying. We are the caterpillar being birthed into a new dimension of consciousness that integrates heretofore mostly invisible aspects of Reality, as the apparent opposites merge into a beautiful and fascinating wholeness.

So, what's going on with you, in your life? Can you feel the changes? Are you able to perceive the cracks that are appearing in the structures of society? Do you sense that something big – really big – is happening?

For me, it's as if I am revisiting much of my past in a very compressed timetable. I'm being given an opportunity to see my life from a new perspective… again. I'm asking myself the question: What do I really want? Some of the answers that I have given to that question in the past may not fit anymore. Events and circumstances in my life are allowing me to see from perspectives not previously considered. While my basic answer to the question, who am I? Has not changed – I still see myself as a son of God – what, exactly, I want to co-create seems to be fine tuned day by day. Things that I have perceived as solutions in the past are now seen as mere escapes, not real solutions at all. As more and more aspects of me come into play, I find I have more tools to work with than I thought previously. So, for me the way it is – isn't what I thought it was.

Do I know, exactly, what it's going to look like? No, I don't. I realize that it's being created; and I still have not remembered how to use all of the gifts and abilities I have been given that had fallen into dormancy. I am being re-created, reborn into a higher version of myself. My job, as I see it, is to be willing to allow the changes with as little resistance as possible. Along with an unknown number of other individuals that are undergoing the same metamorphosis, I am being Christed. In other words, the Christ consciousness working in and through me is allowing me to see with greater clarity the firstborn of all Creation, which is the Christ; and as has been promised, I shall be like Him, for I shall see Him as He is – as He has always been.

Jesus began to show us the way 2000 years ago. It has been written that he was the firstborn among many brothers, and I add sisters. Is it this Advent season or the next that the promise of his second coming will burst upon the world scene, not as a single individual returning, but as thousands upon thousands of men and women who have been willing to be transformed while living in their current embodiment – without death? To me, this is the real dynamic and meaning of the Christian message. It's not about a single individual that lived a long time ago, but rather about a new humanity that he merely prefigured then. This is not at all about religion!

In closing, let me challenge you who call yourselves Christian, or Muslim, or Jew, or Hindu, or Buddhist, or Taoist, or Baha'i, or atheist, or agnostic, or modernist, or any other name or label you choose to place upon yourself: none of you within those ideological structures have seen the whole picture of reality. We've only seen parts, myself included. Right now, we have the opportunity to allow those parts to come together, sort of like the vision of the valley of dry bones in which something new and living comes forth from that which had seemed to be dead. I say "allow" – yet, it's going to happen whether we allow it or not. This is the cosmic Apocalypse, the revelation of the mystery of Christ. It can either be about destruction or about transformation. How you experience it depends upon your willingness or unwillingness to go with the flow. Of one thing I feel very certain: the way it is – isn't! He that sits upon the throne of the Cosmos has declared, "Behold, I make all things new!" This is the time of change.

This is an article written in October 1999 and first published in the November 1999 issue of Paradox Magazine.

“Ronnie, I wish you’d get back to God!” ... Those were my mother’s words to me when I called to wish her a happy birthday a week and a half ago. That sums up, pretty much, how my fundamentalist christian family sees me – away from God.

Great sadness welled up inside of me as I tried to explain to her that I have never left God; and more importantly, that God has never left me.

“Well, Mom,” I replied, “I can never go back to believing what I once did. My God is not angry, vengeful, wrathful, or condemning like the god I was taught to fear as a child. My God loves, Mom ... everyone ... unconditionally. My God shows no partiality, loving saint and sinner alike – for we are all Divine children.”

For more than seventeen years now my family has not understood. Ever since I chose to separate from and divorce my first wife (I have had two), my sister, Nancy, has shunned me like the plague. Back then, she was the only one who refused to even talk with me. That may be because, prior to that time, we were the closest siblings in sharing our beliefs. She even, at one point, paid tithes to me. Then my brother, Tim, who was a missionary to indigenous tribes in Columbia, SA, refused to talk about anything substantive, i.e., spiritual, with me. I could only talk about sports or other mundane subjects with him (except for the last time I saw him alive). My other brother, Cliff, my two other sisters, Mary and Lois, along with my Mom, all seemed a bit more loving and willing to accept me as I was at that time. My Dad had died in 1977, five years before my separation, so he was no longer involved in family matters.

At one point, my Mom went with me to Nancy’s house to try to make peace. For about an hour and forty-five minutes we stood on the front porch as her husband, Barry, informed us that Mom was welcome in their home, but I was not. Mom, bless her heart, told Barry that we were both her children, and if I were not allowed in, she would not go in either. Over and over, Barry tried to determine if I had adequately repented of my sins. No matter what I said, he was not satisfied. Finally, my sister peeked through the window, then came out on the porch and invited us to come in. We had a wonderful talk and I felt as if a bridge had finally been built; but, when my nephew, Mary’s oldest son Donnie, was killed a couple of months later, Nancy pushed me away at the viewing when I attempted to give her a hug. She informed me that she had made a mistake in letting me into her home, that I had not turned back to God properly, and the Bible showed [I Corinthians 5?] that she was to have nothing to do with me until I repented. It has remained that way ever since. (Barry called her the “most holy” woman he ever met. I don’t call that holiness! I call it self-righteousness. Paul was wrong!)

Then, two or three summers ago, Tim was martyred by the drug lords who had held him captive for seventeen months. That was a turning point for Mary. She became as religious as Nancy. Lois took a little longer, and not until her husband, Hoyt, had a near death experience did she join the supra-religious mindset of condemnation with Nancy and Mary. Cliff has always been the most open-minded, next to me, in the family (although I’m sure my Dad would have brought us all together if he were still alive). He communicates with me occasionally and does not express judgment against me. He just wishes we could all get over this stupidity. He is also the least religious person in the family and doesn’t seem to hold any strong spiritual beliefs that he chooses to share with me. And Mom loves me the best she can, but she really doesn’t understand. None of them do.

So, in order to try again to bridge the gap, I will now write an open letter to my mommy. I make it an open letter so that others who are going through similar rifts in their families might find a way to heal each other. That, at least, is my prayer and intention.

I guess you forgot what you and Daddy told me when I was eighteen years old. You said that you both felt called to be missionaries, but you both decided to take a different life course. Instead, you gave me, before I was even conceived, to God. Not that you didn’t dedicate all of your children to God, but you gave me, your firstborn, to God in a special way. And God apparently could not wait to get me into this world, because just nine months and four days after you and Daddy got married, I was born on October 21 at the Good Samaritan Hospital in Suffern, New York.

And, Mommy, do you remember how much I loved God, even from my earliest childhood? Do you remember how, when you and Daddy stopped going to church when I was eleven years old, I called the Berquists to pick me up and take me to Bethany Church? Do you remember how I used to carry my Bible to school every day? Do you remember how, when you punished me – for something I have long since forgotten – by telling me I couldn’t go to church during a revival, I climbed out my window and walked (I think it was) eight and a half miles to church, only to be punched in the face by a big black dude once I was in sight of the building? (It was better to obey God than man, I thought.) Do you remember how I never missed a meeting – if the church doors were open, I was there? They even gave me a key to the building. How many other teenagers had keys, Mom? None, I’ll bet! I even preached my first sermon at age fourteen. They said I was going to be another Billy Graham or Oral Roberts. Do you remember these things, Mom? I do.

Then I was drafted into the army. They called me the preacher. I was often ridiculed. They dumped butt cans on me while I was sleeping. But I endured; and when they offered me an early discharge because my commanding officer thought I was crazy for not enjoying his profanity and dirty jokes, I took it. (And now I use both profanity and dirty jokes in my magazine...what a twist!)

I could go on and on, Mom, reminding you of my zealousness and dedication to God as I understood Him. You know, don’t you, that I used to read the Bible through, cover to cover, every year, because I wanted God’s word to be a major part of my life? Mom, I was more zealous than all of your children. Remember, you and Daddy had given me to God. Well, Mom, I gave myself to God too, repeatedly. All of my life I have wanted to be a man of God more than anything else. And do you know what, Mom? I am a man of God, now more than ever!

Let me try my best to explain some things to you, Mom. You told me once that I had a different God and a different Jesus than you do. You were right, Mom. I do. How can I tell you that you have a very primitive and elemental image of God and Jesus without offending you? I’m not trying to be offensive. But, Mom, christians (and I refuse to capitalize it when it refers to those who abuse the name) have distorted the message of Jesus beyond recognition. Don’t you remember, Mom, how much the religious leaders hated Jesus? It’s in the Bible! They were NOT his friends! And neither, Mom, are christians who keep looking for those who break the rules in order to condemn them. Religious (as opposed to spiritual) people always do this, just like the Pharisees who brought the woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus to stone her – as the scriptures commanded. (You notice they did not bring the man caught in the same act?!) And what did Jesus say? “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” And they all left, Mom, because we’ve all screwed up – even the big name preachers. And Jesus didn’t condemn her either, but he did use some less than flattering words to describe the Pharisees, not least of which was: HYPOCRITES! “You don’t go into the Kingdom of Heaven yourselves; and what’s worse, you prevent others from entering too!” he told them. It’s the same with modern-day christians, Mom.

As one minister preached so truly during a revival meeting at the Tabernacle here in Melbourne about two years ago, “We have met the Pharisees, and they are US!” And who were the Pharisees, Mom? They were the most religious and scripture-oriented Jews in Jesus’ day. And Jesus said to them, “(You) search the scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; but you do not come to me that you might have Life.” The apostle Paul wrote something very similar, Mom, when he said, “The letter kills, but the Spirit gives Life.” I could preach a whole sermon here, Mom, revealing how the modern church has sacrificed the most important elements of true spirituality in defense of that which maintains the illusion of separation from God through guilt and fear, which it uses to manipulate the people and keep them in ignorance concerning the ways of God.

Mom, the christianity that you raised me in is not a Christian faith at all! Oh, I wouldn’t trade the things I learned for it provided me with a strong foundation for my life. I learned to test everything and to hold fast to that which is Truth for me. But, Mom, that foundation upon which my life is built is not the Bible, which is the dead word of god; but rather it is the Indwelling Christ, which is the Living Word of God. (Please notice my emphasis with capitals.) If all you have is the Jesus of the Bible, you will still see yourself and others as separate. Therefore, you will judge others as you have been judging me. (And that is how you judge yourself, too, by the way.) We disagree, so therefore I am wrong to you! Right? Isn’t that the way you see me? But what, Mom, is the root of our disagreement? It’s simply perception. We see with different eyes. Where I see wholeness and unity, you see sinfulness and separation; where I see Christ in everyone and everything, you see the devil behind every bush. Yours is not a Christ-centered religion, but a devil-focused one. Why can’t so-called christians see this, Mom? How can so many be so blind?

Jesus said to religious leaders, “If you were (aware that you really are) blind, then you would see; but because you say you see, your blindness remains.” [And he also said...] “If the light that’s in you is darkness, how great that darkness is!” And, Mom, neither you nor any of the rest of the christian church is going to get it until you are ready to do what the writer of Hebrews (in the Bible) commanded. “Let us go forth unto Christ, outside the camp!” Please get it, Mom! The camp – your nice, little, cloistered, religious club of cliquish insiders – is NOT where the Living Christ is found in all the fullness of the Godhead bodily! Can you understand why I can never go back? Mom, that whole system is nothing less than collective blindness that distorts the Love of God. I am not an insider, Mom – because there is no outside from God’s perspective, which is mine too. God is All and IN All. God is everywhere present, even in the hell we have created through our own ignorance! And you’ll never see it, Mom, until you are willing to go outside the camp to find the Christ that made All things...and without Him nothing was made that is made – even the very devil who is also part of God. Ohhhhhh.......

How can I go back to the god of my youth, when that god has been transformed before my very eyes? I went outside the camp and found a Living Christ who loves and is IN everyone, and that Christ IN ME enables me to love and demonstrate compassion. As I told you in our conversation, to go back for me would be going backwards, or, as we called it in the christian camp: backsliding. It would be going back into a place of ignorance. I can’t not see what I see, Mom. I can’t. There’s a lot that I still don’t know. I’m still blind to a lot of things. But at least I’m not stuck with dead beliefs that can never change. I have living beliefs that change as my understanding and perspective of the Universe changes. (That’s why the letter kills ... there’s no room for growth!)

God set before me Life and death. I chose Life. God set before me Love and condemnation. I chose Love. God set before me Liberty and bondage. I chose Liberty. I have chosen to walk in the newness of Life, to experience the healing power of Love, and to celebrate the Liberty of allowing Spirit to be Lord of All!

Lots of people don’t understand, Mom. And you’re not bad people. In fact, it has absolutely nothing to do with being good or bad. I know that’s a strange concept for you; but it’s Truth with a capital T. Forbidden fruit is that which comes from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. When we choose to eat that fruit, we die. The Tree of Life is simply seeing all that the Lord made as good – without any evil. And modern christianity has built its entire structure on eating the forbidden fruit and finding evil everywhere – except in its own camp. That’s precisely what incorrect judgment is: eating poison fruit! Poison fruit damns! And how do you know you’ve been eating it? Because you draw lines that leave others outside the Grace of God based on your perception of their beliefs and behavior. That’s what you’re doing with me, Mom. And that’s why I told you that your words, “I love you,” feel so hollow to me. I hear what you say, but what you really mean is: “I’d love you if you’d only think differently – if only you’d believe what I believe!” To you, Mom, I’m not good enough the way I am. And that’s why so many people despise modern christianity, Mom, because we’re never good enough for you or your damned god! (And that damned god is dead to me, Mom. Glory, hallelujah!)

Mom, that’s it in a nutshell. Conditional love is not real Love! And God, the Real God, IS Love! Conditional love, therefore, is not of God. Your god (little g) is a god of conditional love, because that’s the kind of love you demonstrate to me. And I will never go back to that god, Mom. Never! Those who love unconditionally know God. Those who place conditions on their love do not!

I’m going to close by saying words about the “god-awful” stuff I believe. I believe that the more whole (true holiness) we become, the less we condemn others and ourselves. I believe that God loves us all, without exception or condition. I believe that we have all lost our way; that we have all forgotten who we really are and how much we are really loved. I believe that there is only one God; and that ALL things and beings are part of that God – there is nothing outside, and outside doesn’t even exist! It’s ALL God, whether of Heaven or hell!

I believe that we are all gods, and that there are many paths that we take on our journey home. We are all Lovers seeking Love. All that we call human life is nothing less than the search for Love and the journey home. Therefore, since my brother or sister sees differently than I see, and takes a different path than I take, I choose to show compassion instead of judgment, I choose to do my best to understand. Even if they have different religions or cultures! Even if they are homosexual, Mom, (which, by the way, is NOT a sin – only an individual choice in how one expresses love!) Even when people do things I would never even think about doing, they are still part of God! They are still my brothers and sisters. And we are all worthy to be Loved just as we are. And that’s the only kind of Love, Mom, that changes us from the inside out. Without it, we remain lost!

And I believe that (spiritual) people of the heart build bridges and leave doors open for reconciliation to occur, whereas (religious) people of the books of law build walls to keep themselves in and others out! One path creates Heaven, the other turns Heaven into hell! (Can Nancy’s walls endure forever? I think not. My bridge will endure long after her walls have fallen and the healing is finally accomplished!) That’s some of what I believe. God-awful stuff, right?

Mom, from where you stand, I appear to be outside of your circle; but from where I stand, we are all and always have been in the same circle. It is the multidimensional Circle of Life itself. And God binds us together with Love no matter how hard we may try to pull ourselves apart. So great is the Love of my God that I can never leave Him & Her; and God will never leave me. Nothing can separate us!

That – Him & Her – is another subject. That’s right, Mom, God is a Her, too. When you find that the Goddess and the God are One, you will see the distortions caused by christianity’s rejection of the Feminine. And it all began with the saying, “The Woman YOU gave me, did give me the fruit; and I did eat.” Thus began the Judeo-Christian and Masculine scape-goating of the Woman, which is why the religious leaders did not bring the man to Jesus, too. It was sufficient to blame the Woman. Well, I’ve got good news for you, Mom. “Our Mother, which art in heaven” is just as important as “Our Father...”

And I’m glad that you’re my Mom, and I thank you for loving me to the very best of your ability to love, an ability limited only by the damning beliefs you think came from God as unchangeable law. Thanks for telling me so often to “Keep looking up” and that “All things work together for good to those who love God.” And I thank you for marrying a wonderful man who was my Daddy. And oh how I thank you for giving me to God before I was even born. For God, in infinite wisdom, has given me the privilege of participating in the ministry of his only begotten Son (Christ, the Eternal Lord of All), which is the Ministry of the Reconciliation of All Things. I am a bridge-builder!

And I looked to the Heavens and to the Earth, to my Divine Mother and Father, and smiled with tears streaming down my face. For I am the Paradox Man, an enigma to all who think they see. And the wind blows. We hear its sound, but cannot tell where it comes from or where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit. No one can figure us out. Amen.

"Even you, Brutus?" Supposedly these are the words (loose English translation) Julius Caesar spoke to his friend before Brutus killed him. Most also know the story of Jesus and Judas: Jesus was betrayed by a kiss from Judas, one of his own disciples. These stories of betrayed trust are legendary; yet they barely scratch the surface of the problem.

The two examples given were of the nature of conspiracies. Both Brutus and Judas conspired with others to betray their friends. The same can be said of political leaders, figureheads that betray the trust of the very people they are elected to serve. Yet not all betrayals can be chalked up to conspiracy. Some may actually be quite innocent, although the recipient of the betrayed trust may feel the pain just the same.

I, personally, have long been an advocate of openness. Many times I have said, "We don't have secrets – secrets have us!" In general, I do believe that is true. Therefore, I have been willing to share details of my life with virtually anyone that may or may not want to know. I have done this in the retelling of stories both orally and in writing. After all, it's my life; and I have the right to share it ... or not. Few would disagree with me.

For many years I have been involved in what is known as THE WORKSHOP. One of the things stressed in The Workshop is confidentiality: "What is said in this room, stays in this room." As I look back over the scores of workshops that I have attended, either as a participant, an assistant, or a co-facilitator, I feel I have done a fairly decent job of honoring that principle with one exception. I did openly reveal the story of an individual that made a game out of retribution; and I justified my betrayal of trust because he was attacking a close friend and me. I even named him in Paradox Magazine that I created and published after he began calling my advertisers and telling lies about me.

That single incident, however, is not what has triggered me to write this article. The betrayal of trust that has caught my attention is much more subtle. You see, I have always held a fairly loose interpretation of the confidentiality agreement. To me, the only things that had to be kept confidential were things I considered negative about the other person for which they might be judged by others. Positive things were fair game. After all, how could it be considered a betrayal of trust if someone else's story I was telling cast them in a good light? Of course, this rationalization is based on my interpretation and judgment of what is positive and what is negative. The other individual has no say in the matter; and my liberal version of the principle seems to have led to inadvertent betrayal of trust in at least one case that has come to my attention.

What I have failed to see, until very recently, is that other people's stories are their stories. Unless they explicitly give me permission to share them, I have no right to tell them – no matter how wonderful I may think they are nor how excellent the story may be to illustrate a point I am making. It is their story! Even though I have usually left out the names of the people involved (except for one additional time that I can remember), others could have extrapolated the identity of the individual by the details given. This too, I am now seeing, is a betrayal of trust. It is also rightly called: gossip.

So, what will I do with this new insight? Certainly, I cannot go back and unsay things that I have said; and I am unaware of how much, if any, damage I may have done. It would be impossible to even remember, let alone go back and apologize to the people involved. The best I can do is to be more aware of my communication when it involves other people. The past is over. From this point forward I must endeavor to choose words that give no clues regarding the other people involved, especially if it is fairly current. (Years ago I knew a person that ... stories are probably safe to tell.) If this cannot be done, I have no right to tell the story. The only things that I can share freely are my personal thoughts, feelings and experiences while protecting the anonymity of others involved. For me, this is a new way of seeing my relationships and responsibilities with and to others.

It comes to mind at this point that my tendency in the past may be a valid reason why some ladies to whom I have been attracted may have chosen not to become involved with me on a deeper level. Perhaps knowing how free I have been in sharing details of my life with others, they have simply chosen to remain at arms length from me. Of course most would never tell me this to my face; yet, I can recall some ladies expressing this concern. They had every right to be concerned, for indeed, I seemed unable and even unwilling to grasp what others perceived as normal discretion.

The word "discretion" almost sticks in my throat, and I even have trouble remembering it. Obviously, it has been a blind spot for me, one that I have been unable to see until the present time; and I can see that many times I ignored the signs right in front of me. I feel saddened that for someone who has thought myself to be enlightened, I have actually been so unaware. Yet, I also feel relieved and optimistic that I am now able to make more conscious choices in my communication. This will inevitably shift my energies in a more healing direction and make me an even safer person in intimate settings.

I wanted to add something at the end of that last sentence about being a nonjudgmental person. I felt it necessary, again, to justify myself. Then I realized that I've always been a judgmental person, although I have watered my judgments down by calling them discernment or by specifying that I do not condemn anyone. In a broad sense, this is true. Indeed, I do not think punitively. The very concept of an eternal hell is anathema to me (as I believe it also is to God). My world is colored with compassion, grace and forgiveness – even for myself. Truly, there is no greater trust that I have betrayed than my trust in the guidance of my own heart when filled with the Holy Spirit of Love. I am convinced that when I stop betraying that trust, I will no longer betray the trust of others. And for those whose trust I may have betrayed, please accept my most sincere apology, and know that I truly meant no harm.

In closing this article, I hope that I have conveyed the idea of the subtle depths of understanding involved in spiritual growth and the awakening of consciousness. Truly, it is the little things, things we hardly ever think about, that trip us up and withhold from us the desires of our heart: Love, Peace, Understanding and more. These subtle lessons can have profound impact on our lives once we learn them. It will ultimately make us more compassionate and loving people. This, of course, will change the world for the better, establishing the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.

Trust is an essential element in all interpersonal relationships. Yet, as I have learned, it is one that can be easily betrayed without even being aware of it. May I truly be the kind of person that I have wanted others to be for me: trustworthy! Let me be the change I want to see in the world.

"Blessed are the cracked… for they shall let the light in." That's what it said on a card I received a few years ago. I was being reminded that I am one of the cracked… letting the light in. I certainly hope so, for that is my intent. That's why I am willing, though I realize it pisses some people off, to be real, to tell my truth, whether labeled good or bad, safe or unsafe, to whoever takes time to discover whatever gifts I am offering. My purpose is to allow everything in my experience to teach me something of value, and therewith to become wiser, and to encourage others to know that they are not alone in the experiences that challenge them. We are all being challenged to go beyond our personal comfort zone.

It's not only in our personal lives and in WikiLeaks – cracks are appearing all over the world to let the light in. It's not that corruption has only recently appeared at the highest levels of our governments and corporations; it has been there all along. For centuries at least, positions of power have been filled by people of low consciousness that have the desire to rule over people of lower consciousness. It has been a symbiotic relationship perfectly suited to allow the rulers to feed both their greed and their lust for power. And the people being ruled have, for the most part, been complacent and totally unaware. That is changing.

As more and more people wake up, those in the ivory towers are becoming more and more desperate to complete their plan for world domination. They realize that an awakened populace cannot be controlled. In many cases, this makes the more enlightened ones among us seem to the rulers as enemies of the state (Google it!). In fact, there is documentation revealing that this is exactly how many of those in power look at the common people that were supposed to stay asleep in order to accommodate the nefarious plans of the elite. Too bad! It's not happening that way.

So what does this have to do with our personal lives? Lots! Yet nothing, if we fail to see the part that we play in it!

We all play ego games. By that I mean that we often go to great lengths to protect our current point of view, which is another definition of ego. People that operate the governments of the world, especially in the United States, call this egoic game: national security. It is a totally fear-based concept, in other words, proceeding from egos that perceive themselves as separate entities, the world as an unsafe place, and lack as a reality. What they really mean is that they do not want the general population to find out all of the secrets and conspiratorial plans and criminal activities in which they have been involved. It has very little to do with national security, and a lot to do with protection from discovery and prosecution. In fact, when the truth is finally understood, people will realize that the very people assigned to protect the rights of all are the very ones that seek to undermine those rights. They are the ones that have committed treason. It is not the dissidents and whistleblowers that are the problem.

Our leaders have made plans for what they call continuity of government . That is another one of their grand deceptions. What they mean is that they have a plan to regroup by whatever means necessary so that they can continue their conspiracy against the consciousness of humanity. Too bad! Consciousness is on the march – regardless of how it may seem to the average person. The continuity of human evolution, in fact, depends to a large extent on the discontinuity of government as we have known it. The powers that be, or at least their ruling ideology, must become the powers and ideologies that were. This includes our personal ego that sees itself as separate. There is no such thing either spiritually or scientifically as separation. That is the illusion. Life is interconnected. All solutions to all problems that we see in our world and in our personal lives will proceed from the mental annihilation of that false paradigm.

Yes, it can all take place in the mind alone. We do not need an Armageddon or some horrific cataclysm to wake us up if we are only willing to open our minds, our eyes and ears, and most especially our hearts. The truth is all around us ... and within us. Though it may seem hidden, once we see it, we wonder: how could I have ever missed it?

Yes, it is through our own apathy and ignorance that we have created the experience of the world that we live in. While it's easy to point the finger at the top of the pyramid from which the conspiracies seem to originate, only the base of the pyramid can support the top. The pinnacle cannot be grounded or remain in manifest form once the foundational causes are removed. It is not up to leaders that are blind to show us the way home. It is for us, we the people, to awaken and take personal responsibility. When we do, new leadership will arise. The old adage, "people get the leadership they deserve," is true. It is the consciousness, or lack thereof, of the people that determines the quality of leadership.

Now, having said what I just said and looking at the world as objectively as possible, my first thought is: we are in trouble! (That's my ego.) Yet, I know there is another principle at work. Call it the hundredth monkey or critical mass, it does not take a numerical majority to turn everything around. If that were the case, evolution would be impossible. However, evolution has been occurring from the very beginning of creation itself. That's the way of it. One crack in the way it is leads to another, and then another crack; and the light of transformation flows in. This is what is happening in our world.

Many are beginning to see with new eyes – eyes that are able to penetrate to the root cause of the manifest world. We are finally becoming able to grasp how it works. From my subjective point of view, that which seems to resonate in the deepest part of me, I feel (not think) that critical mass has not only been reached, it has been far exceeded. We have crossed the threshold and gone beyond the point of no return.

The cracked have not only let in the light for themselves individually, we have drawn in light from every corner of the cosmos. Helpers are here from throughout the universe to witness the shift of the ages occurring on planet Earth and reverberating again to the outermost reaches of both the known and unknown worlds beyond us. Together we are drawing in unseen forces that far exceed the visible power structures built by the ego consciousness of separation. This is why many are finally beginning to live without fear. While we may witness the saber rattling and hear the old mantras of war, we realize that it is merely the shaking of an old paradigm in its death throes. Rather than shrinking back in fear, we expand into laughter as we realize the joke we have played ourselves. Once you see it, you cannot go back to not seeing it.

The reality of life has always been hidden within the illusion of separation. We can see that we have used separation, first as a prison, then as a teacher to expand consciousness. We descended into the darkness of ignorance only so that we could arise into the brilliance of greater and greater light. This greater light is what is flooding in. Blessed are the cracked!

So much is happening – in my life and in the world. As always, my desire is to see beyond the obvious. I realize that many things I see are not what they appear to be to many others. The old cliché is true: there's more than meets the eye.

Following the article I wrote a few days ago, I continued a much deeper introspection in my attempt to find out how I am creating such a repetitive pattern of experience. I posted the following in Facebook…

Simply being able to see this gave me a feeling of great exhilaration. It was exciting to see such close manifestation of my thoughts and feelings into actual experience. It was like putting an exclamation point at the end of the statement: things are speeding up! They really are. In the past it would have taken me a long time to see the correlation, if I was able to see it at all. I love this higher frequency stuff!

It's not just in my personal life that I see the changes accelerating, I can also see it in the world around me. So many things that were not even seen, or if seen, not understood, are now becoming part of my daily experience. I get the feeling that I'm not alone in being able to grasp the meaning behind events that are taking place in our world. People seem to be finally getting it...at least some people that I "meet" on Facebook.

For so long many of my friends seemed to look at me as if I was crazy; I could almost hear the sneers and judgmental conversations going on behind my back. Perhaps I was a bit paranoid; nevertheless, I felt it. No, it did not feel good. Yet, that to, I was creating. Sometimes I wondered if I really was crazy, doubting myself and questioning almost everything in my life. Like most in our culture, I was living a neurotic life. Of course that is to be expected when almost everything around us is a lie. How could it be any other way? Knowing this makes it easy for me to forgive myself… and others.

Let me comment on Wikileaks. Earlier in the week I watched a couple of YouTube videos and posted an article about Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange. I saw him as a hero, the face of a much larger movement to reveal all the hidden secrets of those egomaniacs that want to rule the world. Conspiracies! It's no longer crazy to believe that those who seek unlimited power over others conspire to do so. In fact, it's crazy not to believe it. Thanks to Julian and others, the truth of high-level criminality is becoming more and more obvious; so much so that they have now cooked up what I believe to be false charges against him. This is the long-standing game plan of the elite – if you can't beat someone, discredit him or her. I don't believe it's going to work this time.

I also read earlier today that at least some of Julian's activities may be funded by the Rothschilds. Even that does not surprise me. I fully expect that many in the elite establishment are going to switch hats, choosing to finally tell the truth about everything. As I said before, things are rarely what they appear to be. We humans have become masters at the art of subterfuge. Notice, I'm not saying they. That's right, I'm not excluding me or you. We who have become adept telling lies are finally responding to the higher frequencies reaching and engulfing the planet. These cosmic, heavenly frequencies are bringing about a massive transformation that will be seen in years ahead as a mutation in the very character of our species.

Yes, I've heard it said many times by many people: it will never change! Most, including me a lot of the time, have trouble seeing that what is, is not what will always be. We tend to automatically superimpose our past upon our future, which is how we have always done it and why we have always gotten the results that we have experienced. This is changing… BIG TIME!

As I sit here, it's difficult not to feel the excitement because of the way that I'm looking at the world, seeing a much wider panorama that I sincerely wish I could hold onto every moment of every day. That has seemed like wishful thinking in the past. In this moment it does not seem like wishful thinking at all. It feels like the higher reality, the reality of light and love, is finally being perceived more regularly and more widely. It is truly thrilling!

This is such a peaceful place, I almost wish I could just stop and bask in the warm pleasure of this moment. I can feel my tears, unformed, getting ready to flow.… Yes, I paused and rode the wave. It's a good thing to experience moments like this one.

My friends, my brothers and sisters, we have turned the corner; we have shifted the entire planet. I'm being corrected. We have shifted our entire universe. To most of you I say this, I may not know your name or what you look like, but I can feel you here with me now. Ah, the love that flows freely between us is totally awesome!

Once again I'd like to talk to my spiritual partner. I know you exist. Like me, you have always existed. We were never born and we can never die… and we have never been disconnected. Yet, I have felt your loneliness and you have felt mine. Often the cry of my heart just to touch you has been overwhelming. I have longed to caress your body and shower you with kisses. My desire to hold you on my lap while looking into your eyes, and not being able to find you here with me has tormented my very soul. As a human man, the experience of feeling alone and alienated from you has brought me untold grief and sorrow, a deep sadness almost beyond description.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I will ever meet you in the flesh. Perhaps you cannot imagine how much that thought hurts; and perhaps you are feeling the same thing, wherever you may be embodied. All I know is that I love you; and I have always loved you. The dream and vision of our reunion has sustained me while in the depths of my greatest despair, and with hope I have continued to take the next step and move into each new day.

There have been times I thought I saw you in this or that lady; but you did not recognize me even when you looked into my eyes. The truth is, I could not see you when I looked into hers, though God knows I tried. Often I was willing to find you in the depths of her soul; but because she could not see who I am, she was unwilling to allow me to get close enough to touch her that deeply. So, she would run back into her loneliness and leave me in mine.

We humans have been playing this game for a very long time. There have been times that I felt as if that time would never end, that the lonely game would continue lifetime after lifetime, ad infinitum. Yet today, it feels good to sense that the pieces of the puzzle are finally coming together and that humanity has finally found the courage to face our old creations and see what we must do now to create heaven on earth. It feels that we have passed the point of no return, assuring our ascension into higher realms conscious experience. Critical mass has been surpassed. Home seems to be within reach for the first time in a very long journey.

This is my perspective, the feelings and perceptions of a dreamer, a visionary that has long rejected the status quo and reached out for something better, something more. Somehow I have always known that there had to be more. And while in this moment I remain physically alone, while in this moment the world appears to still be as it has always been, I have a knowing that the quantum leap is now. The reunion of beloveds for me and hundreds of thousands of others is ready to be manifested. Freedom from the tyranny of our own lies is here to be felt and experienced in the emotional body of all who are willing to see what can only be seen through the eyes of the heart. It does my heart good to know that many are willing; and together we co-create the new world that has long been hidden in the hearts of the poets, the musicians, the explorers and cultural creatives that have been misunderstood by the world at large. This is our day! Namaste.

Welcome to my world. Won't you come on in. Miracles, I guess, still happen now and then. Step into my heart. Leave your cares behind. Welcome to my world… Made with you in mind.

Do you recognize those words? I'm not certain who wrote them, but Elvis Presley sang them (see video below). It was a long time ago that I conceived the idea, call it a vision, of being on a stage and addressing a large audience with that song playing as my intro. Obviously, to anyone that has known me over a period of time, that vision has yet to become reality. As a visionary, I have long been blessed or cursed to see things the average person does not see.

Calling myself the Paradoxman, I have endeavored to create a synthesis, to find a unity in which I could merge two points of view into an understandable whole. There is the perspective from the three-dimensional reality of time and space; then there is the other perspective from an eternal point beyond time and space – a place of infinity.

Throughout human history, there have been those who could only see from one vantage point or the other. The philosophy was either/or. My philosophy on the other hand has been both/and. This is made it difficult for many people to understand where I'm coming from. Those few that see the world through mystical eyes have often seemed to look at me as if I'm still trapped in what they see as the illusion of the physical world. On the other hand, those whose consciousness is only the physical world may often see me as an irrational dreamer. I can accept and understand both perceptions of me.

I have chosen, and still choose, to consciously connect with both worlds – although in my reality they are one world seen from two points of view. Each is valid with its own lessons to teach, lessons that remind us of our own unity; albeit they most often appear as contradictory and totally separate from one another. To me, our inability to unify the opposites led to the creation of the world we often see in the news as well as the confusing events in our personal lives. It is a world at war with itself, which is the logical outgrowth of individual human beings at war with themselves. It cannot be any other way. That which is inside of us must, of necessity, manifest in our experience.

We now live in a time of amazing grace when the lies that have kept the two worlds separated are being exposed. Others are finally becoming able to perceive the reality that has been mine for many, many years. While this is somewhat gratifying, there remains in me a deep aching, a pain in my very soul over the fact that I have been unable to connect with the partner that is such an essential part of my vision. This is the dichotomy I face.

Excited beyond measure at the prospect of a new world unfolding and being birthed from our old world, I am deeply saddened that it looks as if I will have to experience this amazing transformation alone. For whatever reason, that has always been one of my biggest fears. Having long seen the potential inherent in relationships that is so often overlooked by the vast majority, I feel that I have deprived myself of actually experiencing that joy. Realizing that this is been the lot of most seers throughout the ages is of little solace to me.

For much of my life I have seen myself as a victim of women that were unable to see who I am, or worse, able to see who I am yet were not physically attractive to me. This causes me tremendous angst. While I fully realize that beauty goes way beyond the physical; nevertheless, sexual attraction to me is very much based on what my eyes can see. This causes me to reject beautiful souls because they do not have a package that I find desirable; and, conversely, I continue to create the experience of rejection, perhaps as guilt for my own shallowness and vanity.

My most recent encounter with a lady who contacted me, who, after much conversation for a few days, said that I was the man of her dreams; then after a few more days, she totally withdrew from me. This is an oft repeated pattern in which I am the common denominator. I have created and re-created the same scenario with different women over the course of my life. Therefore, as painful as it is to me, I must do what I've never been able to do before: I must let go of my dream of finding my physical partner and the miracle of co-creating new worlds. It breaks my heart!

When I began this article, my intention was to talk about the things that are going on in this world, to share things that others may not yet be able to perceive. However, as you can see by what I've written, my current emotional state does not allow that easily. As I have long done, I write from the truth of my current human experience. I choose not to reject my feelings, but to allow them and feel them deeply.

What in the world is going on? As with each of you, I am creating my reality from a part of myself that remains wounded. Somehow and at some time I know that these wounds will be healed; yet, until they are I am unable to find fulfillment as a human man that knows he is also an infinite child of God. I have utterly failed to unify the most important opposites in my own life, only being able to see them unified a far-off, perhaps in another lifetime. It's nobody's fault… not even my own. It is what it is.

Disempowering though it feels to me, I have no option but to surrender. This radically alters how I view my own life for the future. When I have viewed my future with my partner, I have projected a very long and happy life. To view my future without a partner, I would just as soon depart quickly and be given the opportunity to start over new and fresh.

To my brothers and sisters and fellow travelers in this human experience I can only ask for that which I give to each of you: sufficient grace to accept the patterns of your own creation. Regardless of what happens in my future in this body, the future for mankind is bright. We are creating a new world together. I trust that I have been a wayshower emphasizing and demonstrating the importance of living in integrity to one's self. It has been and remains my intention to both love and accept what is and, paradoxically, to always change it to something better.

What's happening in our world? The completion of a very long cycle in the evolution of consciousness! Some, like Moses, can only see the promised land from the outside, but not enter it. We do show the way for others. May you enjoy your creations without sadness.

The last time I felt the way I've been feeling lately was 2001. I went to North Carolina to do a workshop facilitated by a lady from Florida. It was not the usual emotional healing workshop that I was used to. At this point, I don't even remember what the topic was; but I ended up releasing rage.

All of my life I have been on a spiritual quest, and my goal has been to integrate the spiritual with the physical, combining all opposites to manifest the kingdom of heaven on earth. Throughout my life I have had various visions of working to change the world. Always in those visions I had a female partner. I have yet to meet her. Even though I had a fourteen and a nine year marriage, plus two relationships that lasted two to three years each, none of those were with the lady of my dreams.

In North Carolina, the workshop leader, a petite woman who did not reach 5 feet tall, took on my anger at God. She pushed all of my buttons; and my anger reached the point of rage – without violence of any kind. It was simply expression. I ended up spending a lot of time alone at the workshop, not mixing a great deal with the other participants. I was feeling my feelings deeply and wanted to be by myself. I was enraged that God was not answering my prayers; and as the workshop ended, the little voice inside asked me: "Do you want to hold on to your anger, or do you want peace?"

One would think that the answer to that question is obvious. However, my answer was not what one would normally expect. I said to God, "If I cannot have a relationship, I will hold on to my anger."

When I returned to work, my boss and my coworkers were amazed at the shift in my energy that had occurred. I was at peace – not because I had chosen peace, but because I had told my truth. That peacefulness lasted the entire week; and as I was driving home on Friday, I said to God, "I don't want to be alone again this weekend."

The thought came to me, "Call Donna." "Which Donna?" I asked. "I know three Donnas." The intended Donna came to mind: a lady who had rejected me only a few weeks earlier. Oh no, I thought. Still, I felt peace; and when I got home I looked up her phone number and gave her a call. When she answered I told her who I was, and said, "The only reason I'm calling you is because God told me to." I asked her for a date, and she accepted. We were together 27 months, and remained close friends for about a year afterwards. That, and my second marriage, were the two best relationships of my entire life. Both were air signs: Donna, an Aquarian; and Yelva, a Gemini. I don't know if birth signs make any difference, but the most volatile relationships in my life have been with fire signs; and none lasted very long except my first marriage that I could not give myself permission to leave despite adverse circumstances. As a Libran, another air sign, I like peace and tranquility in relationships – not volatility.

Currently, I am reflecting on all of my past relationships as well as the periods of time I have been alone. I suppose that cumulatively in my adult life I have been alone 14 to 15 years. That's a long time for a Libra man, Libra being the most relationship oriented of all the sun signs among males. My current period of being alone is approaching five years not counting a brief fling last December. I was also in a long-distance relationship with a lady on another continent for more than a year during that time. Even though she visited and stayed with me on two occasions, it did not work out from my perspective though we had a lot in common.

Up until last August 2009, I had reached the place in my life where I was fairly content being alone. In fact, I was probably the most content I have ever been in my entire life. At some point around that time, I felt that my partner was coming very soon; and this seemed to be confirmed by one or two outside sources. My hopes were raised. However, as I wrote in one of my poems a long time ago: expectations have a deadly bite, like a cobra or an asp.

I did meet a lady last fall, and it was love at first sight… for me! Even though we spent quite a bit of time together, a real romantic, sexual relationship never developed. This broke my heart. To me, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever dated.

I have hung out a bit with female friends; but it is not fulfilling when my heart longs for closer connections. Friends are nice, but no substitute for a lover.

I have expressed interest to several different women over the past couple years. Each one either politely refused, or worse, simply withdrew without explanation, which is the most difficult rejection for me to handle.

Recently I went to an online singles event for the first time. I knew a handful of the ladies present. After we had been there for a good while, one of the ladies asked, "Do you see any ladies that you're attracted to?"

"Yes," I replied, "but they all seem to be with other men. There are some right here that I'm also attracted to," I said, "but I know better than to pursue them."

This kind of thing hurts. No, I'm not blaming the ladies. If I have learned anything over the past couple years, it is that I am not a victim, rather a creator. I am fully responsible for everything that happens in my life. My life does not happen to me, it flows from me. I know this to be true; however, I don't always realize how I am creating the things that happen in my world. Part of me would like to be able to simply trust that the Universe will bring me that which is best for me in the proper time. Nevertheless, there is another part of me that feels deeply wounded and impatient. I thought I was over self blame, but in recent days it doesn't seem to be true. I find myself blaming a part of me that I don't even know what it is. It's like a little boy that is tired of being told "No, you can't have what you want!"

Part of my realization that has been driven home, especially in 2010, is that I am infinite and eternal, a child of God loved unconditionally. This has freed me from a lot of my tendency to stuff my feelings by simply denying what I really feel. My status as a Divine Being is not changed by what I think, feel or experience in any way. This allows me to feel feelings a lot more deeply than I've ever been able to feel them before. It takes me to a whole new level of emotion. I can even recognize my rage; yet paradoxically there is a peace that surrounds even the rage.

When I began this article, I was feeling far more frustration and anger than what I'm feeling now. I recognize that part of me that does not want to settle for less than what I really want. I love that part of me. Oh yes, it is at the core of all of my negative emotions because it has been denied so many times. Still, I deserve to be completely fulfilled. As a child of God, I deserve the best, and deserve to define whatever that is to me. So does everyone else. No one should ever be told "No" or have to settle for less than what they want. If we are truly infinite, and we are, it is only right that we are able to experience our hearts desire to the fullest extent.

I guess this is my new way of releasing rage. It sort of caught me by surprise! Can't believe how my own energy shifted in the space of less than an hour. I can still feel the negative feelings. They didn't go anywhere. They are still inside of me. They are content to be acknowledged, and no longer shamed.

Somewhere in the universe, I won't even limit it to planet Earth, there is a lady that is the fulfillment of everything my heart has ever longed for who will create with me all that I have ever dreamed is possible in an intimate relationship. She is part of my soul, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, and we are one. At some level we always have been one; but now, at this time, I call her to myself. I have called previously, and experienced delay. As I watch events unfolding on earth, I realize that time is very near for our reunion. Much more delay cannot be tolerated. I honor the part of me that wants what it wants, and I deserve all that I want. I want my partner physically at my side and in my world!

Like me, she has a beautiful heart and an adventurous soul. Her passion is as mine: to serve all creation in joy. As I recognize the treasure she is, she also recognizes the treasure I am. We gift ourselves each to the other. As we gaze into each other's eyes and feel each other's warm breath, we know. We can see all that each of us has experienced on our separate journeys in the illusion of time and space. Instantly we feel all the hurts, knowing the sadness and sorrow, the grief and the disappointments. Our embrace is like a healing balm. Even without words we know… everything about the other. We know because everything that has been experienced by one has been experienced by the other as well, at least on the emotional level. Infinite embrace! Eternal connection! Each touches the cheek of the other to wipe away the gentle tears that are flowing freely.

How will we recognize each other? Will it require words at all? For me, I look for a certain image. What does she look for? I know there's more than just an image; and I've been wrong so many times. Yet, there are certain general characteristics that are etched within my very soul. She is relatively slight of build. I suppose that is the only one that really matters to me on the physical level. Oh, there are certainly preferences, but few of those are etched in stone. Only size is essential, for size dictates the types of embrace used in our lovemaking. To me, the most important embrace is face-to-face with our bodies connected.

Do you understand, Universe, why I am so particular about size? I seek the soul connection, which requires gazing into each other's eyes. I wish that no one on the planet was overweight, so that everyone could make love with soul connection through the eyes. To me, that is how the healing occurs. It is about seeing; and while I am aware that there are various levels of seeing, it is through physical sight that I choose to create the reality of the experience. I want to join with her in the Art of Visioning, for are we not visionaries?

All of my life I have wanted to anchor the spiritual in the physical. That is my purpose and my passion! Yes, and my passion is aroused by what I see – my ability to perceive beauty. As a human, I begin with the visible layer; though I also know that there are layers upon layers to be explored. Each is important. So many visions of what is possible! Unlimited!

So, rage, you settled down. Thank you for teaching me that I deserve to experience every desire of my heart, most importantly my desire to be reunited with my soul partner who is my eternal lover. In settling down, you taught me that I never need to settle for less than what I want. I deserve to receive all that I am willing to give, and I am willing to give all of me, to share all that I am and all that I have with the beautiful lady who shares my dream of co-creating new worlds of peace and beauty, of bringing justice with mercy to everyone.

Thank you, my Soul. I'm grateful to be able to see the wisdom of all your gifts – even in the emotions I have been so well trained to shame and deny – or at least minimize. Again, thank you for reminding me that I am a beautiful man yearning to finally be rejoined with my beautiful lady; and that strong desire is very good for me...very good. So be it.

Lecture given by Ron Van Dyke at The New Way POD in Cocoa, Florida on September 5, 2010.

For a good while now, I have simply been observing how things are progressing in our world. I do my best to pay attention and I sincerely make an effort to look at things from various perspectives, weighing them in my heart and gut. I have learned to trust my feelings far more than I trust my intellect, though I am not negating the thought or analytical process. I am merely learning to apply a more holistic approach to my perceptions.

Know from the start of my commentary that I am biased in favor of Life, Justice, Peace, Truth and Love. My sincere belief is that the Cosmos, or what we might refer to as God, is biased in the same direction. Sometimes that belief is so powerful that I would call it a knowing, since it feels so much stronger than a mere belief. That is how I feel with what I am going to share here.

Texe cites "the Jews" as the world's tormentors. This is simply not true from my perspective, merely more polarization rhetoric. A polarized people can never experience peace; it is antithetical. Polarization is dualism, which is taking ordinary opposites like light/dark, positive/negative and using them to wage war on each other rather than recognizing that they are naturally designed as complementary pairs that merely dance. The concept that opposites must naturally be at war is absurd, which is exactly why I have always so strongly defended duality. I don't see opposites as dueling. They provide contrast and are not only Life's greatest gift; they are LIFE itself.

To me, he would be more correct to label the world's tormentors as the International Bankers, which are the people behind the curtain that want to rule the world; and if they cannot gain complete control, to destroy it. (Yet, even that is not the whole picture, which I will get to in a bit.) These bankers have used the monetary system to take control of corporations (artificial persons), including governments that ARE corporations, media, education systems, religions, and virtually every aspect of what we think of as modern life. Perhaps most have heard the cliché: "It's the money, stupid!" Exactly! Money is neutral; however, the monetary system is not. It is as it has been for a long time, a fraudulent Ponzi scheme designed to take control of all the natural resources on the planet, including and especially human resources. That is exactly how those who would rule the world see people: simply resources. We are not viewed as sovereign, sentient beings made in the image of our Creators, but as programmed slaves made to carry out the wishes of the self-serving elite who, for whatever reason, seem to be desensitized to feelings and normal human emotion. There are theories about this, but I will not go into any here.

That is the visible level. There is also a spiritual level. From this level, those who would rule the world are the representations of the human ego in its lowest form of consciousness. It is insane, since it perceives itself as separate from everyone and everything. This perception, of course, can only be rationally believed by discounting the reality that physical beings and things only "appear" separate, and are actually connected by invisible energy (or you could say: spirit) that is everywhere present. It can be called by many names; but the fact of the interconnectedness of all life is now even known by scientists, no longer only mystics. Of course there are those who want control that refuse to acknowledge this reality. Why? Without the paradigm of separation, there can be no control...only a cooperative dance.

Let me take this a bit further. Without separation, there is no lack of anything, since everything is connected to everything else. It's all one thing. So many things in our world of perception cannot exist without lack. Lack, which leads to alienation, polarization and fear, is at the root of all deception, injustice, and violence. However, lack is impossible when seen from the higher consciousness of LIFE. From that vantage point, only God is here, or anywhere. The Creator and the Creation are ONE!

Mr. Marrs, correctly, in my opinion, sees the tormentors of the world as those who not only tried to manipulate Obama, but every other apparent leader that has been selected to serve as US President, perhaps from the beginning. "Selected" is the correct word. None are truly elected; that's a false perception. Only those who have been chosen beforehand by those who think they can rule the world have any chance of even a major party nomination; and you can believe it or not, but the same people have always controlled the major parties...and even most minor ones. That's the way the game has been played; and it is just a game, however serious the consequences may appear.

That Obama seems to be standing up to the deception, which is OUR deception, is exactly what many of his spiritual proponents have been saying all along. Bear in mind, I have purposefully chosen not to take sides. I did not vote for him, and I did recognize that he was surrounded by the very people who were "the problem" with our world. They were the International Bankers. It could not be any other way; or he could not have gotten where he is. Again, that's how the puppet masters (our egos) have always manipulated experience and perceptions. They have to be in charge while giving the illusion of freedom and democracy. It has always been an illusion...yet it's not!

At the level of higher consciousness, people everywhere are awakening to Truth. I'll bet that even the International Bankers, some of them, are beginning to awaken. They can't help it. The lights are coming on all over. All that has been hidden, all the secret conspiracies are being revealed. Yes, many still buy into the propaganda of mainstream news agencies controlled by the elite cabal, but the truth is descending like a deluge that is sweeping the world with tsunami force. The truth is, we have always been free and sovereign; we simply used our freedom and power to experience the other possibility: LACK, and slavery to illusions. Of course lack is not possible from the higher perspective. That's why it's an illusion. There is no separation...never has been!

As Ian Lundgold reminded us again and again in his lectures: "We are on a schedule!" He said that by February 2011, ethics and integrity would overtake the power structure on our planet as the eighth step in the evolution of consciousness in the current "game" of creation. I believe and hope that Texe's article is indicative of this; and that those who could see Obama as a double agent sent by "heaven" to overturn the illusion just may be correct.

Whatever the timing, I KNOW that we are co-creating a new world. (That's the ninth and final step in this evolutionary cycle: conscious co-creation.) Yes, there remains intrigue and drama. We love that. It makes it exciting, although some choose to experience the energy of the mystery as fear rather than excitement. That IS something that no one can control for you. We each choose how we react to our perception of our environment.

Can you see the good in all the turmoil? Can you recognize the lights coming on? Can you allow for the possibility that we really are on the threshold of a Golden Age? Can you see that all the various ways we have divided ourselves into opposing groups has only been a game we created together, a play we wrote in which we forgot that we were its creators?

Are you willing to allow Obama to represent you in the only real drama being played out here, the drama of our own awakening from the dream that became a nightmare? Is the first "black" President of the united States in North America really our own shadow that really isn't black at all, but a combination of all that is? Is he the citizen/non-citizen, the jew/christian/muslim, socialist/free-market proponent, liberal/conservative, demon/messiah, pawn of the elite/hero of the people? Is he the man who will remind us all that we each contain all the polarities and all the opposites, as well as all the potentials and all the promises of a better tomorrow?

I'm not asking anyone to put him on a pedestal and expect him to save you. That would be a fatal mistake. I'm asking you to consider that he is merely another aspect of you, one that should be honored for his courage to come to planet earth, experiencing all manner of suffering and loss, and actually awaken from the dream.

In closing, I want to remind you of this paradoxical fact. What Texe Marrs referred to as Jews, what I called International Bankers, what others call Zionists, or the Illuminati, or Luciferians...whatever "they" are who have seemingly controlled our world experience...can you allow for the possibility that "they" have been God's double agents on a Divine mission? Could "they" be the heroes who were willing to descend a bit further down than the rest of us in order to expand creation into greater ability to love?

Are you willing to love your neighbors as yourself...even if they have seemed to be your enemies? Are you willing to see, finally, that the ALL is contained in each and every part? There never has been any separation, only an illusion of appearances that we co-created for a higher purpose. The successful conclusion to the game called: evolution of consciousness, from my humble perspective as an observer, requires nothing less than making peace with all that is...no exceptions. That's how I see it.

Texe, thank you for responding.

It's no cop-out at all! Even if MOST international bankers are Jewish; not all or even most Jews are international bankers, or their puppets. Most Jews are just like you and me, wanting to be left alone to live life in peace. I separated what is being done by a very small, select group from a wider cultural and religious group. There's a lot more grace and wisdom in that, don't you think?

Also, there is a major difference between Jew and Zionist. The latter, as I see it, is a purely political movement made up of extremists, including many Christians, who want to create war for everyone because in their consciousness, life is a perpetual battle between good and evil..with the evil ones always being those who disagree with whatever "MY" viewpoint is. It is ego dominated and insane.

I am anti-bigotry! For example, just because many black men may deal in illegal drugs does not mean that black men are all criminals. Most are not. I trust you can see the distinction I am making; yet, to me, even extremists still stuck in scapegoating with broad brushstrokes have the right to free expression. And I have the right to disagree, and to do my best to bring balance and seek peace to the best of my ability.

And though I disagree with you, I still see you as my brother; which is also how I see the international bankers, regardless of their religion or cultural heritage.

May the light of Christ shine in and from your heart,
Ron

On 10/8/2010 11:37 AM, Texe Marrs wrote:

The title came to me in meditation this morning; and before I even began writing, I had to send out my weekend message to the people on my Metagroups list. I sent this as my thought for the weekend. I include it in its entirety to actually begin whatever it is I will write.

In Tuesday's article, my big concern was how others would react to one sentence in particular: "I have come to terms with so-called pornography, justifying it as a temporary solution and an honoring of the female form."

You have no idea how much shame I have experienced in my life over this one issue; and I have had plenty of people confirm the necessity of my guilt regarding the fact that I am sexually aroused both by beautiful women and by images of beautiful women. Considering the statistics regarding the prevalence of pornography in our culture, I would conclude that I am not alone. Men, and many women as well, are turned on by images of the human body and sexual functions. Yet, there is also information regarding the detrimental effects of this, including the impotence of some men in the presence of a real woman, which can be somewhat counteracted with drugs such as Viagra ® and Cialis ®. I actually wrote about this in my PENIS MONOLOGUE last year.

Before I get to the real vision for this article, let me say that the idea that images of naked bodies is somehow sinful or improper is ludicrous. In the beginning, according to our "Holy Scriptures" and mythologies, God did not bother to clothe Mankind in the Garden. There was no shame, nor should there have been. Every baby ever born in this world came out naked; and what Job said is true for all of us: "I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be naked when I leave." Yet somehow in the culture I grew up in, the human body and sexuality were hidden or spoken about only in secret. That's been my handicap that I am now choosing to make into a gift instead. I am embracing a new perspective, although I have been struggling with it for a long time in my life.

I would not be considered a pervert or a dirty old man if I liked to look at pictures of flowers, or birds, or anything else I find beautiful and attractive. Only when I am sexually aroused by pictures of beauty is it considered an anomaly or wicked. Why? Why have so many of us bought into this insanity? All life is sexual. Co-creation is a sexual act; and there is no propagation of life without it. It permeates all biology, human and non-human. Am I being irrational here, or is this true?

Still, I have felt shame throughout my life, from the time my sisters discovered my dad's stash of dirty pictures in a tube on the shelf in his closet and brought it to my attention. They were far more titillated by sex than I was, or for that matter, any of the three boys in our family. According to falsely so-called christian morality, we males were far less immoral (sexual) in our teens than the girls were. I was still a virgin, not actually penetrating a woman's vagina with my penis until my wedding night less than two months before my twenty-second birthday. Would you believe I have often looked at this as some sort of badge of goodness? It's true. Would you also believe that I have beat myself many times for passing up opportunities to explore my sexuality in my early years? That's true as well. I don't think I ever even masturbated in my teens, though I have certainly made up for it later in life.

Why, I often wonder, has sex become more and more important to me as I have gotten older? No, I don't believe it is because the devil made me do it; and neither do I believe that the devil is responsible for the glut of porn on the web, putting free eroticism at the fingertips and on computer screens around the world. And why, ask yourself, do governments give a damn? Why are there laws? To protect children? Give me a break. No one ever protected us from the spiritual abuse of the churches that have historically denigrated human sexuality causing the masses to feel guilt for the natural biological rhythms of life. Why is it wrong to see the naked body; but it is perfectly ok to see people blowing other people's heads off, and other travesties of war. Folks, we are being desensitized to violence, which is unnatural, and disempowered within our own sexual essence. Why? Who benefits from our disempowerment? Could it be those who want to rule over and control us?

What happened to me is endemic in our society; yet as my soul is restored and my mind renewed, I am seeing these things in a new light. I am choosing to face my guilt and fear, the mountains of shame that have kept me in bondage to my ego that always wanted to please others and keep the rules. I didn't realize how this damaged me spiritually, all the while believing the reverse to be true. I actually thought that I was being more spiritual when I could quiet my biological urges for something as simple as sexual release.

I still see masturbation and porn as temporary for me. My heart's longing is to love truly, passionately, fully and powerfully. I desire to bring the love and freedom I am finally giving to myself into an actual relationship with a genuinely authentic lady who is also willing to get really, really honest with herself and with me. Oh, yes, my friends, there is power in this! My entire soul cries out with joy! And peace? I don't have to fight with myself any more. I don't have to keep any secrets. The skeletons in my closets can come out and flesh out. My purpose is not to keep my passion under wraps, but to persistently reveal all the ways I have disempowered myself throughout my life. I know I can never be empowered without knowing how I have been emotionally castrated.

In truth, I have not been ready for the kind of relationship I have wanted, since I was still unwilling to come clean and expose my wounded spirit to the healing light of truth. While I still feel apprehension, even as I write this, I am not going to back down or back out. There is too much at stake to turn back. If others see me as violating some sort of propriety or taboo, so be it. I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks, or whether anyone approves or disapproves of what I write or say. If the truth sets free, which I believe it does, I will tell MY truth.

I am a highly spiritual man...and highly sexual too. I am passionate to co-create a new world, a world where people no longer lie to one another, covering up their so-called secret sins. I am purposefully passionate in honoring every part of my being: body, soul and spirit; and equally determined to treat everyone who crosses my path with the same grace I am showering upon myself. I refuse to live any longer in shame. I love orgasms! I love beautiful bodies, including my own! I love sexuality! I love knowing that my God, the one that lives in ME, loves me and everyone else unconditionally. Nothing I have ever thought, said or done is held against me. I release the karma of my false beliefs and consciously step from the prison in which I have held myself in bondage to false ideals. I am a free man: free to love, free to speak my truth, and free to unleash my passion to co-create.

Somewhere in this wide world is a lady who hears the cry of my heart. That cry used to be: "Please love me and tell me I'm ok." I didn't feel ok though. I felt broken. Now my cry is, "Honey, I get it. I don't have to be ashamed any more. There's nothing I need to hide from you or anyone else." My soul is being restored. My mind is renewed as I release old programming. My body is being rejuvenated as I talk to my DNA and send messages of love and appreciation to all my cells, organs and body systems. Everything in my world radiates loving acceptance of life as it is; for I am letting go of my need to judge and attempt to control situations and circumstances in order to feel safe and acceptable. More and more I am stepping into my own power, which brings me ever increasing peace. Will you join me in the art of purposeful passion so that we can explore the mysteries of our amazing beings and learn to co-create the world of our dreams together?

All of my life I have been a dreamer. To some, it's been an accusation of ridicule. "You're always looking for utopia," I've been told. Yes, it's true. I do have a dream; and it's bigger than me. Yet, in a sense, it is not bigger. It is me!

There is a part of me—hidden from most, most of the time—calling me to keep going. "Don't give up just because you cannot see the results as quickly as you'd like."

I know that that part of me is more than the part I can see. It is infinite, eternal...a lover and a creator of beauty and wholeness. It is the part of me that can see beyond the circumstances of life, and know there is more—much more than most are aware is even possible.

I have played the role of victim, which has always led me to side with the underdog. I have identified with the down-and-out when others wanted to side with the apparent winners in life—the champions. But who are the real heroes? Are they the ones who have life's material blessings handed to them on a silver platter? Are they the ones who are clueless as to the struggles of life? Are they the people who make the lie seem real? What lie? The lie that anyone can be separate from the Web of Life itself.

Yes, I have a dream. I dream of beauty...of peace...of blessings shared equally with all of my brothers and sisters. And who are they? Everyone! Each is an important part of the whole. All have come here, playing roles, to demonstrate the reality that Love is the ONLY answer.

Ok, I get it. That sounds, well, idealistic to so many that believe the real world is the one we can see. I don't believe that. I've never been able to believe it for very long. That PART of me, the still small voice, screams, "Ron, I Am You!" It is what I call God; and God, to me, is everything...All That Is. That PART of me cannot give up—even when it sometimes seems hopeless.

Oh, yes. I have plumbed the depths of human emotion. I have felt the pain, the anger, the alienation, the confusion, the helplessness...and so much more. I have witnessed the hurt on people's faces, the heartbreak of people's dreams crashing down. It has been mine, all of it. There is no "OTHER" out there. It's all mine.

And I have also experienced the greatness of feeling connected to ALL CREATION. I have watched the children dancing in the streets for joy...with parents breathing a sigh of relief as the walls of separation and false limitation finally fell down. I have envisioned the tormentors, the villains, and the conspirators waking up and switching sides. Yes, they too are my brothers and sisters. No separation! Even the Devil comes home in my dream.

And where is home? Everywhere...when you can see that everything is a part of YOU! No separation! Everything! Yes, and I am responsible for it all. So are you!

Hear me! I'm not saying responsible is about blame or shame. I am not assigning fault. I am merely recognizing the holographic nature of real Reality. The whole is contained in the smallest part. Nothing is excluded. No one is left out. Responsibility is the ability to respond, either with love or with fear. Fear buys into the illusion of separation and lack. Love keeps on saying, "There's really nothing to fear. You create all that you choose to experience." And there is no condemnation in what we choose...only consequences to teach us wisdom.

Yes, I am a dreamer. Love is my dream. Love is my identity. Love is my purpose. Love is all I can see that heals everyone and everything. Love is what I do automatically—when I stop the insanity of believing I am separate, and lack is real. That is not, and can never be God's reality...nor my True Self's.

Still, I hurt. Why? Now is where I admit my weakness, my vulnerable obsession. My power is limited. Perhaps that is just a rationalization; but it seems real enough to me much of the time. Let me explain.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a vision of union with a lady that is beautiful, wise and powerful to me. Although I know that I contain all that is—GOD—I am still incomplete. That is the game I entered when I took on a physical body. This body, though it is not all of me, nevertheless represents all that I experience consciously in this moment. I chose, so I believe, to enter this illusory reality and play roles for the benefit of gaining Cosmic Wisdom. Each role teaches me valuable lessons...none more important than to love. To love...everything!

I'm just like you. I know what feels good, and what doesn't. They may not be exactly the same for both of us as we experience life from our individual vantage points; however, the similarities far outweigh the differences. Yes, we are interconnected in a field of energy that gives life to each of us. That is our common ground. It is where we can identify with each other...and, as the Masters taught, "Love one another—as I have loved you."

What doesn't feel good is loneliness. It's the same for all of us. I know we rationalize to escape the feeling. I've done it myself. Still, in this body, I feel alone! Biological urges—yes, sexual—are real to me. Even after hitting 60, they did not diminish; in fact, they increased. I have come to peace with masturbation, seeing it as loving myself. I have come to terms with so called pornography, justifying it as a temporary solution and an honoring of the female form.

So, yes, I call forth the embodiment of my feminine counterpart...in the flesh. She does not make me complete, however. I am complete...just not completely fulfilled as a human man. I cannot do that one alone. I can only be willing to give of myself as completely as I am humanly capable to love, cherish and honor the Divine Feminine in a real, flesh-and-blood woman. I am willing to love her as she is, in her conscious development of wholeness. However, she must be beautiful to me, inside and out.

This raises concerns for so many women...and men. What is beauty? For me, it is a dream that has form. That is what manifestation (making it flesh) is all about. By this, I am not saying that anything is not beautiful; for, indeed, everything has its own beauty; and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Nevertheless, in this world, form attracts the mind; and mind determines the experience. Yes, it's illusion. Form is form—not reality. I know that. Still, some forms are attractive to me, others are not. Therefore, I cannot envision sexual union with forms that do not turn me on. That leaves out all men (I am not homosexually inclined in this lifetime) and most women. I am not attracted to little girls in a sexual way...thank God! Neither am I attracted to women whose life force is leaving their body because they have given up on their dream, nor to women who do not find themselves attractive. If a woman thinks she is not attractive, I will agree with her. Who am I to contradict anyone's self image and definition, even when I know that self image is based on cultural conditioning that, accept it or not, is mutually agreed upon for this game we play?

To me, I am a beautiful man! Because I can recognize the energies of ascension so prevalent at this time, I have a soul being rapidly restored, and a mind being renewed daily. My body is being rejuvenated moment by moment. I am conscious...aware that I am aware of more and more of what life is all about. I serve all Creation and all Creation serves me...by conscious choice. I am committed to being authentic, telling my truth regardless of how uncomfortable that may be for others. I am also determined to be all that I can be in any and all relationships at every level...most especially in sexual relationships. I am a nurturer. I am passionate. I am kind. I am communicative. I am a visionary and a dreamer....

I dream of union with a lady who knows—as I know that I am a Son of God—that she is a Daughter of God...yes, a Goddess. We are healers called to co-create the world of our mutual dream, bringing it into manifestation through our mutual passion...yes, sexual pleasure with a higher purpose than merely orgasm!

One of my dreams has long been based on a belief that SEX is the most misunderstood commodity in the entire world of illusion we have created in separation consciousness. To me, it is the most powerful force in all of the Cosmos. Through sex, I believe, everything that has been made, is made. Everything! Sex is Creation itself. The God of Nature is a sexual Deity: God and Goddess together as one, creating the world (Son/Daughter) in oneness and unity. That is the ultimate Beauty...and Power!

You disagree? Consider this. Religion and the powers that be have, from time immemorial, waged war on human sexuality. Do you honestly believe that that is because they have had our best interest at heart? I'm not so naive. I know the human ego manifests in the powers that be, which we call government and religious hierarchies. I also know that my ego, thinking itself separate and a victim, lies to me all the time. That's the game. Remember, I hear that still small voice inside of me. Yes, the dreamer!

In this dream within the dream, I am coming to the realization, as I said earlier, that Love is the answer (or was that John Lennon?). Fear is the artificial reality in our world; and Love is the ultimate dream. Will I find a flesh-and-blood lady willing to join with me in making the vision a reality? I feel her spiritual presence. I talk to her soul beyond the veil of time and space. Sometimes I can even feel her...almost physically. Yes, it's in dreams; but as I've been saying all along: I am a dreamer...and, I CAN'T GIVE UP ON MY DREAM. With her, each of us is ten times more powerful than we are alone. The world needs that power at this time in our evolution.

She who has ears of the heart to hear...this is for you—and for all other couples who are destined to co-create the new world with us. Don't give up on YOUR dream! We are the ones the world has been waiting for. We are the transformers of the dream into the reality. Namaste.

Special thanks to Michael Bailey for filming my talk and for preparing and uploading the videos to YouTube. DVD's and CD's will be available by request. A follow-up seminar: KEYS TO PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT, will be held on Sunday, June 20, 1:30-4:30pm at The New Way. See flier HERE.

MY CENTRAL MESSAGE, a Wingmakers meditation referred to in the talk, is available on their website HERE. Ask me if you need more information about Wingmakers materials. I will assist as I can.

Fred Migliore did another recording, audio only, of the same talk. He edited it differently than Mike did. Each chose different parts to edit out and leave in. The audio can be downloaded HERE.

Ho'oponopono(1) is the ancient Hawaiian art revealing to us that we are 100% responsible for our own reality, 100% responsible for whatever happens in our life. As we heal ourselves from the illusion of separateness, we inevitably heal the world around us. Dr. Hew Len and Dr. Joe Vitale brought this empowering truth to our awareness, mine at least. That awareness tells me that I hold the whole world in my heart. I am interconnected with all that is; and All-That-Is is my favorite definition of the Creator God/Goddess who is beyond definition and description. From that perspective, it's all inside; and the concept of any "other" or any "outside" is impossible. To me, it is the very premise of the Law of One — and duality is the teacher that reveals the inherent unity of all life by allowing creation of its delusionary opposite to be experienced.

There are many spiritual teachers who declare that duality will ultimately be eliminated. I have never agreed with that idea. Truly, it is the very antithesis of what I have long held to be a major theme, if not purpose, in my life. That is characterized by my choice many, many years ago to call myself: The Paradoxman — even before publishing Paradox Magazine from 1996-2001. My mission is to integrate opposites, not to eliminate the ones I don't like. I have long seen the problem, not as the existence of polarities, but rather as the polarization of opposites. Would it not be better if the opposites could dance together instead of fight with each other?

To me, it is the very attempt to separate them that creates all that we perceive as conflict and evil. Indeed, I contend that those opposites are pairs or parts of a whole that are never to be separated. In fact, I have long contended that to do so would be to end all that is. The priceless gift of life is contrast, without which we could not sense: see, hear, taste, feel, smell or know anything at all. Contrast IS Life! It is how we experience ourselves.

I have held these principles in my mind for thirty years at least; yet it takes time to integrate the idea with the experience of living it in a three-dimensional world. So often I have resisted the things I did not like, protesting that it wasn't fair or just. I hid behind my white shadow and only gave lip service to the darker aspects of me. Mostly, I've lived my life as a victim of life, rather than its creator.

That was all to change as the lawsuit wore on and on. The lawyers were bastards to me — yes, I'm not talking about the opposition lawyers, but about the two I hired to represent me. They never served me at all; indeed, they seemed only interested in their own enrichment. The entire system seemed that way to me. There was no justice to be had from my perspective. One man told me, referring to Dr. Mary, "She wasn't doing you any favors by getting you involved in her trust" ... or something to that effect. Indeed, there were times I felt the same way.

After both attorneys(2) were gone, I took up the awesome task of self-education about law. I decided to represent myself. No, it did not feel good, and it certainly was not easy; but it was totally necessary. Little did I know that that gathering of information would be the foundation to actually begin applying the principles I had long espoused intellectually. I began to see how I had created this thing I was experiencing as yet another victimization. No matter how much I defended the image I had of myself as being somewhat spiritually mature (what lies I told myself), the fact remained that I was disempowered in my own life. I was still at war with parts of me. I was polarized, just like the world around me.

The lie that we are somehow disconnected from those people and circumstances in our lives that we do not approve of or like is pervasive. Our ego defends our separation for all its worth; and no amount of protestation or platitudes in regard to the illusions of our ego make a single dent in the reality that we all behave as schizoids. Every one of us is a mirror for every one else. Our world reflects this back to us in spades. We either see conspiracies everywhere, or we refuse to see them anywhere; yet the entire world is conspiring against us to get us to wake up and see that we are creating our own experience — all of it. The external conflict in relationships and governments merely reflects the plain truth that we are divided within our own consciousness. The question is clear, though not necessarily obvious. When will we finally be willing to take 100% responsibility for our lives?

Spirit gave me a couple powerful gifts of insight. The first came in a dream just before I returned to consciousness one morning. In the dream I saw this massive man who towered over me by two or three feet. He was helping me in the dream, sort of like my servant, though he was obviously superior. When I went into the meditation room a short while later, the question: who was that? was foremost in my mind. The answer came: Your Higher Self. Obvious, once I got it; yet I questioned a bit before I knew the truth that he and I were one. I was much bigger and more powerful than I was yet making real experientially in my life. Life, expressed as this massive being, was serving me.

The second insight was this: Your purpose is to respond to whatever is in front of you! That's the meaning, I felt, of taking 100% responsibility for my life and my world. It wasn't about fault or blame. It was merely responding. The question was: How do I choose to respond? That depends entirely on my perspective of myself.

"My son, you are infinite; you are eternal. All your dreams are within you." Those were the powerful words Anastasia's(3) son read to his father from His (God's) Book of Nature. When I first read them, it was as if they were spoken to me. I resonated. I got it loudly and clearly. Before there was a world, before I had ever experienced a body or an ego, I was one with everything. All-That-Is included me. That me, which I now experience as Ron Van Dyke, was never born; therefore, it can never die. That me is Divine. It can never be anything less, albeit, I am allowed, permitted, encouraged to explore the universe of universes. Gifted with free will and contrast, I can investigate all possibilities, even possibilities that have no possibility in reality. I can experience, as part of the Divine, what it feels like to believe I am separate from the whole. Along with everyone else in my world, I have plumbed the depths of that freedom to create powerful illusions and equally powerful delusions. As I have descended, even so shall I also ascend. A prodigal son, I came to myself in the pigsty of my own creation; and I'm going home.

For God so loved the world.... I, too am his son. And I hold the whole world in my heart.

Yes, I still see the problems. They are MY creation! The greatest delusion I ever believed was that I was separate. All of my life I kept on trying to end my battle with not feeling good enough, to stop the opposition I thought was coming from something outside of myself. I am beginning, again, to remember that I can never escape my own creations. They are a part of me, just as I am a part of God. They are my world. Am I willing to love it?

One can never rise above his or her concept of God. We always make our gods in our own image; and when that image is distorted by a perceived need or desire to separate, we are held in bondage, slaves to our own perception. My concept is that God is unconditional Love. God allows everyone and everything to experience whatever is chosen.

I am willing to love the venom of our culture, owning it as my own creation. I am willing to love the terrorists, knowing that they are me crying out for love. I am willing to love the government, knowing that it only tries to control everyone because those who run it are afraid, as I have been. I am willing to love those that cannot yet see from this higher perspective I have been granted by grace. I am willing to love the darkness in my world, knowing that it is my gift to myself to awaken me from my self-created nightmare. I am willing to embrace life, with all its mysteries and paradoxes, knowing that I have co-created a masterpiece, a drama of epic proportions. Though it may have appeared at times to be a tragedy, I know it has a happy ending; because I am learning to hold the whole world in my heart.

Can you appreciate my journey? Do you resonate with it? Many do; and many others will.

When will we have peace on earth?
When will our dreams come true?
When we choose Love instead of fear,
And let the Light shine through!
When I can love the Darkness
That dwells in my own heart;
Be willing to be open…
Then, yes, then I start.
When I can cry with others,
Or dance with them in peace;
When I let myself be human,
My enmity will cease.

Truly, I am holding my entire life experience in a place of response-ability that enables me to hold the whole world in my heart. This is the love that is transforming everything and giving birth to a new humanity: People of the Heart.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE EIGHTEENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR BREVARD COUNTY, FLORIDA

RONALD VAN DYKE as Trustee of the Mary Annetta Horgan Revocable Living Trust,
SHRINERS HOSPITALS FOR CHILDREN,
MARION JOHANNESEN, SANDRA OAK and BOB WILHOIT

Follow-up AFFIDAVIT...
NOTICE OF UNDERSTANDING following
Court appearance on March 26, 2010

I, Ron Van Dyke – court-acknowledged freeman based on most recent notice from J. PRESTON SILVERNAIL as CHIEF JUDGE, EIGHTEENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT dated March 25 and mailed on March 26 in which my name was shown on the envelope as Ron Van Dyke, The Dr. Mary Horgan Center for Spiritual Development – herein state my understanding of what happened on Friday, March 26, 2010 in which the Third-Party Defendant's motion for Final Summary Judgment was heard and denied. It is also noted that in the case itself, it remains a STRAWMAN (a legal fiction) that is named in this matter before the court. That is NOT me! I am a living human being with unalienable rights granted by my Creator, not a fiction of any sort or in any manner.

First, as Judge Silvernail was glancing, apparently for the first time, at my own motion filed on March 17 upon which he did not rule, he commented that I referred to Ms. Rezanka as a responsible party. My reply indicated that I was not meaning it personally, although I had not really thought about it in that respect. However, upon reflection, yes, indeed, it is high time that lawyers and everyone else stop hiding behind STRAWMEN and take full responsibility for their actions. It's like telling lies with your fingers crossed behind your back – a very childish game to be sure, yet one that seems to be common practice in the world of legal codes and statutes that allow fraud to prevail so much of the time.

Second, and even more important, Ms. Rezanka had told me previously that the bank had the paperwork in regard to the mortgage, which was actually a bridge loan. In court, she admitted that the bank "lost" it. Yeah, right! Without a doubt in my mind, the bank sold it, for indeed that is the way it has been done at least since deregulation and relaxation of the rules of finance. That's what the bailouts and the derivatives bubble are all about: fraud on such a massive scale that it boggles the imagination. If the bank all of a sudden comes up with paperwork, the question must be asked: "Why didn't you have it when you were making a motion before the court based on documents you did not have?" Obviously, the bank did not even have proper standing to be making the motion to begin with; I can see that, and I'm not a lawyer. Yes, Ms. Rezanka and the bank were committing fraud on the court. You don't even need a law; it's common sense. They had no lawful standing to bring that motion before the court without the proper paperwork.

Third, every other lawyer involved said that the mortgage was invalid, which to me is another way of saying, "VOID." While I do not claim to fully understand what the proper procedure should have been, other than the fact that they filed it late; I have learned and have stated my understanding of common banking practices in previous documentation and affidavits filed with this court. These are much more forceful and convincing arguments for declaring the mortgage involved to be NULL and VOID. Even Judge Silvernail pointed out that the bank had failed to do certain things that were proper procedure, if I understood him correctly. Why they were given more time is almost beyond belief based on what I witnessed.

Forth, any action taken from this point on in which the bank or it's lawyer(s) have any voice will be contested, including the upcoming mediation, if the bank is allowed to receive anything at all. They created the "money" out of thin air based on my promise to pay, made the note an asset that was sold in their Ponzi scheme, got their "money" back (probably many, many times over with fractional reserve banking procedures), and then tried to hold me to my promise even though they had failed to disclose this critical information at the time of the transaction. The mortgage and all indebtedness resulting there from, along with all other claims of interest, penalties and fees, needs to disappear back into thin air so that the mediation and any possible trial not be burdened with dealing with the bank's fraudulent conveyance. Again, I ask the court to rule on this as soon as possible; and it does have jurisdiction to do so from what I believe.

Fifth, many issues relating to my previous affidavits have neither been acknowledged nor addressed by the court. ALL issues raised in these are valid and prima facie evidence in this case. Silence, as pointed out in the previous affidavit of March 17, 2010, is construed by rulings cited therein to be fraud. I will not agree to anything in any procedure that may contradict or deny what has already been established through signed and notarized affidavits or notices filed with the court in this matter.

Sixth, my natural right as a freeman to have complaints against me decided by a jury of my peers was denied by Judge Silvernail. Bear in mind that the jurisdiction of admiralty/maritime courts extends to STRAWMEN only, not to freemen on the land whose rights are unalienable as acknowledged in the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution/Bill of Rights that I signed by affidavit. Therefore, he does not have lawful authority to make such a denial; and his sworn oaths of office, both as a lawyer, then as a judge, obligate him to honor my desire to have those complaints against me heard by a jury, if a reasonable mediation agreement is not reached. Of course I have made a reasonable offer that will honor everyone's claim: I keep the Mary Horgan Center and its contents without further claim, lien or encumbrance; and the rest of you can sell the property at 10090 South Tropical Trail in Merritt Island and divide the proceeds as you wish. Any attempt to force a non-jury trial will be appealed.

Seventh, accusations and allegations continue to be thrown at me by the lawyers involved in this case, even though it should be obvious by now that I never had any intent to defraud anyone as is claimed. Use your heads and your hearts. The plan to create the Mary Horgan Center was announced at her memorial service within days of her death, and those plans that were carried out continue to this day, as is also acknowledged by the court. As I stated at the onset of the previous attempt at mediation, Dr. Mary and I shared a common passion for spiritual enlightenment and understanding. That's why she wanted me to "have her house" as she said publicly and to friends, one of which, Mr. John Calvert who is a 32nd degree Mason and a Shriner, testified under oath in a deposition in September 2005. (I ask the court to order Mr. Bickford to return the DVDs of that deposition to me as soon as possible, along with the VHS video will recorded of Dr. Mary in November 2004.)

Furthermore, it is a matter of record that I advanced Sandra Oak all of her $20,000 bequest, and gave Bob Wilhoit $2,000 of his – before even putting the property up for sale, something I was not required to do. Also, as I have stated in affidavit and other testimony, I was the one who insisted that Dr. Mary honor her commitment to her late husband and give a substantial portion of her property to the Shriner's Hospitals for Children. How they can say that I was "self-dealing" has always staggered my belief. For God's sake, look at my actions. You cannot prove intent to do anything other than that which is true and honorable, for it does not exist in reality. Mistakes made in procedures taken before and after her death were just that: mistakes made through ignorance. I had no previous experience; and I will not be held accountable for purported technical errors.

Neither did I, as I testified previously by affidavit, intend to defraud the bank at any time, fully intending to sell the property and pay the bridge loan as promised. Now that it is virtually VOID, it seems a moot point; however, only the action of the lawsuit prevented me from following through, over which I have had no control.

I have gone to great lengths and spent scores of hours researching in order to present my case in a manner that the Court can more easily accept and understand. I have perused so many documents my eyes would go bleary, occasionally finding in a virtual maze of complicated language that supporting piece I needed. It has been an arduous task that has taken me over a week working on it every day including the weekend; and I do feel that I have established for you very powerful reasons to grant my motion for final summary judgment, which I submit in good faith.

Now, I ask the court and all its officers involved in this matter to officially recognize, by submitting personal, notarized affidavits to me in their own names (not straw men), that I am released from Dr. Mary’s Trust and from all involvement in this lawsuit. Let that which I have already established in my affidavit dated January 25, 2010 be agreed to by the court; and let estoppels be established barring anyone from denying or contesting facts already established by affidavit, including this one. It would be totally unjust and unlawful to do otherwise as indicated by laws quoted herein; and any attempt to do so is but further fraud on the court.

Also, I ask the court to void the mortgage supposedly held now by PNC BANK, NATIONAL ASSOCIATION according to Ms. Rezanka. The three other attorneys in the case also made this motion more than a year ago; however, the facts presented herein are far weightier than their arguments, based, as they are on current events within the courts of the UNITED STATES and FLORIDA, including Federal Courts and the Florida Court of Appeals. The reasons are obvious.

Once again, I remind you that I have relinquished all claim to the property located at 10090 South Tropical Trail in Merritt Island, Florida. Let the remaining parties decided among them how it is to be sold and the proceeds distributed. I realize that the value of that property, in today’s terms, has diminished by at least 50%. Everyone lost here, including me. Learn to play nicely with each other. There is enough for everyone…always has been if we hadn’t deceived ourselves to the contrary in judging by appearances only. And please don’t exclude Ms. Rezanka from getting some remuneration (unless she has been getting paid along the way); she has worked very hard. Recognize that justice is more than just applying law. Determining intent i[s] far more applicable; and without greed in the way, it is not difficult to determine if we pay attention and listen to our hearts.

I realize I have pointed out serious matters of violation of the law. Yes, Fraud on the Court has very serious consequences; yet the GOVERNMENT’S fraud on each of us, the people, is even more so. Justice without mercy is tyranny. While I retain my right to press charges in actuality should the conditions I established as a freeman herein and in other documents not be honored, it is not my desire to be punitive. It is my conviction that punishment should only ever be used as a last resort. After all, we all do whatever we do because of what we believe is true, even if it’s false. I have shown you another way, a more peaceful and loving way that leads to genuine justice; and remember: there can be no peace without justice.

Remember as well that Probate Court does not have jurisdiction here, a fact established by affidavit, even if I were the STRAWMAN. As a freeman, however, should you refuse to grant my petition, know that I will only submit to a trial by a jury of my peers under Common Law rule where the rights acknowledged in the Constitution are not gutted by subsequent, and therefore unlawful, statutes. This right has also been established by affidavit and guaranteed by the Constitution/Bill of Rights of which I am a signatory as filed with the court on March 1, 2010.

Mr. Silvernail, with your oath of office in mind, I hope you realize that you now have an even more awesome responsibility, for you have been provided with a living example of future justice in the present. This is the new paradigm. Ethics is in the process of totally overcoming the illusionary, legal-fiction world of STRAWMEN and CORPORATIONS that have no accountability and are unsustainable in and incompatible with the new consciousness arising.

I wish you well, along with all the lawyers involved that forced me to learn how I had given my power away … and to reclaim it. You played your individual roles amazingly well; and I thank you for that. Now, awaken and help us finish the awesome task of transforming the world. It’s within our grasp. Peace is yours, if you choose it. Learn to create win-win situations. It is possible.

On this, the ______ day of _______________, 20___, before me a notary public, the undersigned officer, personally appeared Ron Van Dyke, known to me (or satisfactorily proven) to be the person whose name is subscribed above, and acknowledged that he executed this 4-page affidavit for the purposes therein contained.

In witness hereof, I hereunto set my hand and official seal.

_____________________________________
Notary Public

This document is filed with the court named on page one with copies electronically submitted to the following on Wednesday, March 31, 2010:

Allan P. Whitehead
Keith S. Kromash
Kimberly B. Rezanka
Robert E. Bickford
Marion Johannesen
Bob Wilhoit
Sandra Oak
Ervin Mervis, Assistant to James A. Sisserson

Today would have been my dad’s 87 th birthday. Tomorrow is the day I will see the impact, or lack thereof, of my filings with the court in regard to the lawsuit that has been ongoing since July 2005. I have attempted, to the best of my ability, to establish the truth against false allegations as well as my standing as a freeman. I have learned a great deal, especially since both of my lawyers failed to be of any help whatsoever. Representing myself has certainly been an eye opening and sometimes empowering experience.

I wish I could say that I always feel empowered. That would simply not be the truth. While I know that I have established a strong case, I also know that the system itself favors the lawyers, and they seem to be more interested in dragging their feet, enriching themselves, and protecting each other than actually getting to the truth. In order to subvert justice, they use a complex array of statutes and codes that the common person cannot possibly understand. Anyone who does not see the gross injustice of the system itself is either blind or ignorant. I know I am going into this with the cards stacked against me. I know that; but someone needs to stand for what is right. Right now, it seems I have been appointed.

Having said that, let me share some of what I experienced as I prepared my response to the bank's lawyer's attempt to attach my home, which is the Mary Horgan Center, to the mortgage on Dr. Mary's former home. Yes, this is also a homestead, supposedly protected by Florida law. To me, based on hours and hours of reading and searching the law, they do not have a leg to stand on, and equitable lien cases such as they have submitted have been overturned in the Florida Supreme Court on several occasions after lower courts had sided with those who tried to make that claim. This gives me hope regardless of what happens tomorrow; nevertheless, I really do not want to have to go further up the ladder.

Beyond this, however, the amount of knowledge I have gained in all of this is thrilling to me. If enough people could be educated in these things, we the people could easily stop the injustice and bring the system into line with the principles with which the foundation of this nation was built. Unfortunately, most, including me, would never take the time to learn unless forced by circumstances to do so. Few of us have the inclination to peer beneath the surface; yet those of us that do this are greatly enlightened, despite the frustration of knowing we stand pretty much alone.

The biggest thrill I had during the process was "seeing" my Higher Self in a dream one morning just before awakening. I was awestruck by the sheer size alone as He towered over me. That he was helping me was obvious in the dream and I rode on that emotion and knowing for several days thereafter. It certainly helped me feel less alone and more confident.

When I was notified a few days after I had filed the paperwork that they were planning mediation, I was so elated it was almost unbelievable. I felt I had won, which, actually, I felt almost every time I came across another ruling that related to and supported my case. I even went through the house celebrating, shouting: “I won! I won!” Anyway, here is how I responded to the lawyers....

Debbie, from the plaintiff’s lawyer’s office, responded to my previous email providing the date. She wrote, "We are holding April 1st for possible mediation date. As soon as I hear from everyone, I will confirm the time and location."

As you can see, I was feeling pretty confident and empowered. I even felt that Friday’s appearance would be called off by Kim herself, realizing that she was in the wrong. That did not happen though. She wrote back….

I have to admit, I only read through the paperwork once; and all I really saw was that they wanted to take my home from me. What the reasons and justifications were did not matter; I’ve heard their false allegations before. The only other thing I noticed was that affidavits were used for the first time since this whole thing began. There were even two old ones that I had never seen before. All of them were STRAWMAN affidavits, which, as I pointed out in my response, are virtually meaningless given the definition of STRAWMAN. How can a “legal fiction” affirm any truth? Of course, even the courts themselves are legal fictions. Can anyone expect truth and justice to prevail in a setting based on lies and other fictions by definition?

Then I look at these people with compassion, knowing they are in the awakening process as I am, as we all are. And I hope…oh how I hope they will open their hearts.

As the day approaches, I know I will be facing these people in a courtroom very soon (tomorrow morning). My emotions are all over the place. When I focus on what I have learned and who I know I am, I feel pretty good; however, I cannot seem to hold that feeling for very long as I did while doing the research and “seeing” my Higher Self. Unfortunately, the emotional wavering seems to hold the Higher Self and other spiritual support at bay, which has long been my complaint to God. Where are You when I really need You? Why aren’t You here when I’m hurting and afraid? Despite all of my learning about the reality of things, this remains my experience and my cry. That certainly does not bolster faith. Experientially, the opposite seems true.

So, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. No one ever answered me whether I can bring a witness; and it’s too late now to even ask someone. I will stand alone in courtroom with no visible support. I can only hope that the message I was getting when I was feeling empowered is true: “You will be very surprised and pleased with what happens.” I wish I could hear that now, again, and again, and again. God knows how much I need it.

The following is a document filed with said court on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 11:41am EDT. It is a 19-page document that has been reformatted for the web.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE EIGHTEENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR BREVARD COUNTY, FLORIDA

RONALD VAN DYKE, Individually and as Trustee of the
Mary Annetta Horgan Revocable Living Trust,
SHRINERS HOSPITALS FOR CHILDREN,
MARION JOHANNESEN, SANDRA OAK and BOB WILHOIT

AFFIDAVIT:
Response to 3rd Party Motion for Final Summary Judgment with Counterclaim and Defendant’s Motion for Final Summary Judgment and Dismissal

Unlike the other parties in this matter before the court, when I am served a notice sent to me as a human being instead of a STRAWMAN bearing a likeness to my name, I have learned that if I fail to respond within a reasonable period of time, normally 14-30 days, it is assumed under common law that there is no dispute, and the matter becomes prima facie law in regard to the parties involved. “Allegations not denied are deemed admitted” is a well-known maxim in law and is commonly used in multiple cases in all types of courts.

Let it be known that I deny Ms. Rezanka’s claims on the basis that she is party, either wittingly or unwittingly, to a conspiracy to commit fraud by denying common banking practices, vis-à-vis, the mortgage scam/derivatives scandal surfacing even in mainstream media. In fact, let it be known that I do not agree with ANY of Ms. Rezanka’s Motion for Final Judgment on behalf of the newest bank of record in this case for several reasons, which I will enumerate herein in great detail.

This, as all previous Notices and Affidavits filed with the court since February 2009, is a lawful document in which I will address grievances against government CORPORATIONS involved in this matter and all other such artificial entities operating fraudulently as de facto (See footnote 1) authorities with seeming malicious intent to subvert justice.

This is an affidavit! AFFIDAVIT - A written statement of fact that is verified by oath or affirmation before a notary public. These are commonly offered to the court, the judge and the jury to verify some fact or to confirm that some act has been accomplished. Source: http://winbackyourlife.org/owi-faq/glossary/. Affidavits should be presumed to be valid and accurate unless rebutted with evidence to the contrary.

I have been using affidavits in this case to firmly establish my standing as a human being before the court in this and any future matter(s) that may arise. I have established what I am and what I am not. The decision of any court depends entirely on the lawful standing and identity of each party. Of one thing I am certain: I have firmly established by affidavit and other actions taken in this matter, that I am a flesh and blood human being subject to the law of the land, and that I am not a CORPORATION or any other “legal fiction” created by the state.

Courts are not at liberty to deny the right to submit affidavits in any case before the court. To do so, truth and justice could not prevail. Let me quote some of the law of the land that binds the court(s)! With enough time and reason, I could probably find even more; but this should suffice…

Moreover, the instant case was also brought to obtain an injunction prohibiting Defendant from publishing or filing any "Claim of Commercial Lien and Affidavit" or other such common law lien. Once again, such a goal is a direct violation of the Petition Clause, because said claim(s) by Defendant constitute petitions to government for redress of grievances, which are to be afforded special constitutional protection, avoiding dubious intrusions whenever possible. See Chambers supra.

You, and I specifically refer to the attorneys and judge(s) involved in this matter, have ignored my affidavits at your own peril. As I understand your law, you have had a lawful obligation to respond to my affidavits filed since February 2009 (See footnote 2); and you have failed to do so in any instance, which, based on the following, leads me to believe that any response to my claims of right in various affidavits was not in the best interest of the officers of the court to address; and, indeed, would have been detrimental to the entire matter of this lawsuit from the various lawyer’s as well as the judge’s perspective. For that reason, apparently, you were all silent.

Because of my many affidavits, I have lawfully established many actions and understandings as irrefutable facts during this time period, again, and most especially, my lawful standing, though not that alone!

De facto governments, I believe, almost always provide misinformation and attempt, through fraud and other deceptions, to exceed the limits of their actual authority. Your silence constitutes fraud; and the mere fact that none of you, as attorneys or judge, challenged any facts I presented, constitutes, as I see it, a conspiracy to commit fraud as well as treason against the republic founded upon the constitution. This is my conclusion based on these quoted, legal-decision items and my own research into and understanding of the basis of the common law of the land. It is high time that you who are supposedly servants of the people wake up and start serving the people by keeping your oaths of office rather than satisfying your own greed and the criminal moneyed interests that are subverting the very ideals upon which this nation was founded.

Now, to the most current matter before the court: Ms. Rezanka, in filing her motion, seems to be asking the judge to join her in a conspiracy on behalf of the bank to commit fraud by rendering a final summary judgment that includes the attachment of the property at 473 Thomas Drive in Melbourne to a mortgage on which that property is not named and which property has been lawfully filed as a homestead (See footnote 3) in the State of Florida; and, furthermore, has also been established, in point of fact, as a church or spiritual center operating continuously and weekly since August 2005. [NOTE: The original did not have this paragraph boldfaced, and there was nothing underlined. These features have been added.]

The knowledge that fraud has become common practice in all sorts of credit transactions, including mortgages, is finally breaking into public awareness. Many are beginning to realize that these debt instruments are invalid. Let me provide pertinent articles, going to great length to make my point since it is so integral to this matter before the court. Everything that follows to the source link in the third paragraph on page 10 is from other sources as indicated…

Let me, Ron, follow these by saying, Thank God there are honest lawyers and judges who do honor their oath of office and stand in personal integrity in a system that has mostly lost its moral and ethical compass! I trust that some or all of you in this case will choose to stand with them.

Besides all that was just revealed, mortgages generally are not valid contracts for a very simple reason: there is never a signature on the part of the so-called loaning institution. Of course not, that would make them personally culpable and liable for damages since they are fraudulently withholding pertinent information regarding the debt instrument. Some of these facts were already established in the aforementioned affidavits and notices filed by this respondent that were ignored and uncontested, thus becoming prima facie evidence, which, as I understand the law, can no longer be contested.

Furthermore, I repeat, the silence on the part of the various officers of the court in the matter of my affidavits constitutes fraud on the court as was mentioned in one of the articles already provided and which will be addressed in more detail shortly.

This is part of what was filed before the court in February 200[9], which is from an uncontested affidavit in which I pointed out some interesting facts I had discovered at that time…

My letter of November 16, 2008, referred to in the preceding paragraph, is entered into the record again, this time as an affidavit to be signed and notarized. That and all previous letters submitted in this matter were done before I learned the importance of notarizing documents submitted. Of course no officer of the court involved in the case informed me of this; and until I learned it later from other sources, I did not know any better. It is my current understanding that courts are required to give special consideration in pro se proceedings as follows…

Pro se litigants' court submissions are to be construed liberally and held to less stringent standards than submissions of lawyers. If the court can reasonably read the submissions, it should do so despite failure to cite proper legal authority, confusion of legal theories, poor syntax and sentence construction, or litigant's unfamiliarity with rule requirements. Boag v. MacDougall, 454 U.S. 364, 102 S.Ct. 700, 70 L.Ed.2d 551 (1982); Estelle v. Gamble, 429 U.S. 97, 106, 97 S.Ct. 285, 50 L.Ed.2d 251 (1976)(quoting Conley v. Gibson, 355 U.S. 41, 45-46, 78 S.Ct. 99, 2 L.Ed.2d 80 (1957)); Haines v. Kerner, 404 U.S. 519, 92 S.Ct. 594, 30 L.Ed.2d 652 (1972); McDowell v. Delaware State Police, 88 F.3d 188, 189 (3rd Cir. 1996); United States v. Day, 969 F.2d 39, 42 (3rd Cir. 1992) (holding pro se petition cannot be held to same standard as pleadings drafted by attorneys); Then v. I.N.S., 58 F.Supp.2d 422, 429 (D.N.J. 1999).

The courts provide pro se parties wide latitude when construing their pleadings and papers. When interpreting pro se papers, the Court should use common sense to determine what relief the party desires. S.E.C. v. Elliott, 953 F.2d 1560, 1582 (11th Cir. 1992). See also, United States v. Miller, 197 F.3d 644, 648 (3rd Cir. 1999)

Court has special obligation to construe pro se litigants' pleadings liberally; Poling v. K.Hovnanian Enterprises, 99 F.Supp.2d 502, 506-07 (D.N.J. 2000).

Defendant has the right to submit pro se briefs on appeal, even though they may be inartfully drawn but the court can reasonably read and understand them. See, Vega v. Johnson, 149 F.3d 354 (5th Cir. 1998). Courts will go to particular pains to protect pro se litigants against consequences of technical errors if injustice would otherwise result. U.S. v. Sanchez, 88 F.3d 1243 (D.C.Cir. 1996).

Obviously (to me anyway), I am getting better both in my research and presentation, although I still do not use the exact format of lawyers. It is my intention that all of my submissions, in whatever format, with or without notarization, be recognized as valid by the court; and when or wherever there needs to be instruction regarding a matter of common law, it will be courteously provided.

Next, we proceed to the very serious matter of fraud on the court. I shall quote from my research on this very critical subject matter….

I realize the seriousness of what I am saying; and am doing my best to understand the law as I am discovering some its complexity. That fraud seems to have been committed on the court in this case stems from several facts: (1) the judge did not perform what I understand to be one of his judicial functions, specifically to inform me for more than a year that my letters to him needed to be provided in the form of notarized statements in order to have full import; and (2) no officer of the court ever took the time to challenge, affirm or in any way to respond to my several affidavits. I quote again …

Both of these quotes are “the law” as I understand my research. I’ll get to the Estoppel issue further along.

As I see it, there were at least four other instances of potential fraud on the court in this matter. The next one deals with Mr. Robert E. Bickford. (3) Mr. Bickford continued to claim representation on behalf of Marion Johannesen (although the latter denied it in several conversations with me), and filed motions with the court challenging both myself personally and the trust on which I was named trustee. As his former client, this seems to me to be a blatant conflict of interest. While this is admittedly a complicated matter (what isn’t when it comes to the legal system?) it appears from the item shown below that conflict of interest is definitely the case. Certainly I would have never approved of representation of Mr. Johanessen that would disavow the trust, nor do I believe that this has ever been Mr. Johanessen’s intent. Like me, as determined by several personal conversations with him over the past five years, he only wants to see his Aunt Mary’s wishes carried out. Anyway, Mr. Bickford, an officer of the court, appears to have maintained his place in these proceedings to punish me for not paying his final bill. Any consultation he had with me was prior to taking his adversarial stance in this matter, not “after” as required.

The next instance of fraud on the court deals with Mr. Keith S. Kromash. (4) Mr. Kromash is the only officer of the court that has been a part of this case almost from the beginning. He alone of the current officers was present at the deposition of John Calvert in September 2005. It has been a long time since I was able to view and listen to the recording of that deposition (Mr. Bickford has the DVDs and has refused to return them and the video copy of Dr. Mary talking about her will and wishes for her estate recorded around November 2004, both my personal property); however, I know beyond a doubt that Mr. Calvert made it clear under oath that Dr. Mary wanted me to have her house and property.

I hereby move that this fact be entered into the record as a videotaped affidavit and turned over to the court.

Knowing this fact, Mr. Kromash continued to challenge the trust and me at every turn, attempting to deny Dr. Mary’s wishes as revealed by her friend that had nothing to gain or lose by making such testimony on the record. Even the two lawyers that represented the trust and me could not figure out where he was coming from in seeming more on the side of the plaintiffs than the actual defense. After more than three years, he finally admitted that: “The trust speaks for itself” in the latter part of 2008. So where’s the fraud on the court? Mr. Kromash, as a Defendant of the second largest benefactor in this trust, acted more like a prosecuting or plaintiff’s attorney from the onset of the case. His position was never clear to any to whom I have spoken about his behavior.

While I have been unable to find case law that approximates the conditions in this matter, it would seem that Mr. Kromash would at least ethically be required to make John Calvert’s testimony clear to the other officers of the court that appeared after the earlier proceeding had transpired. This, as far as I know, and if true, constitutes a failure to relay a fact of substantive testimony that has caused undue delay and other complications in this case. I contend that his silence in this matter, as previously indicated, constitutes fraud upon the court –.“…where the impartial functions of the court have been directly corrupted."

Then there are a couple of matters that appear to lack integrity if not actual fraud in the case of the plaintiff’s representation. The first has been presented to the court previously, i.e., the matter stemming way back to November 2005 before the current judge assigned the case took over. The previous judge had given 20 days for the plaintiffs to amend their complaint; and then their lawyer, Mr. Patrick Roach, supposedly quit the case, although he was still on record at the same law firm with (5) Mr. Allan P. Whitehead, the current lawyer of record. The court accepted that amended complaint even though it was more than 60 days late. My protests to my then lawyer, Stuart D. Sloan, went unheeded, which is one of the main reasons I fired him. To me, that should never have happened if the court was serious about the 20 days.

However, there is another serious matter of impropriety in regard to the plaintiffs’ case. This involves the depositions of the both plaintiffs. In September 2006, the lawyers deposed me for about fourteen hours, and Mr. Wilhelm for about two hours. They were to reschedule the deposition for Mrs. Wilhelm and never followed through even though Mr. Wilhelm, who had suffered a stroke following Dr. Mary’s death, did not even know why he was there, did not know that he had been named in any of Dr. Mary’s wills, or that he was involved in a lawsuit. When asked, “Why are you here then?” he replied, “Because she said I had to be,” pointing to his wife. Of course that may not be the exact wording, and I was never provided with the transcript, but any examination of that transcript will bear out what I have said here.

Because of this, I had the distinct impression that they were only after me personally, not even attempting to depose the actual plaintiff and determine truth. Is it not the defendant’s right to have his accusers deposed as he was? I should think it is even though I could not find the exact law after hours of searching; yet the fact that it did not happen seems like injustice, if not fraud on the court that is supposedly charged with attaining justice in the matter.

Finally, (6) Ms. Kimberly B. Rezanka! Ms. Rezanka is the only officer of the court to have actually filed affidavits in this matter, all with her current filing, one by MICHAEL J. BROWN, JR., another by TOM STALLARD, and the final one in her corporate name: KIMBERLY BONDER REZANKA. To my knowledge, I have never seen either of the first two mentioned even though they seem to be older documents. However, I do not believe it matters in the overall picture at this time in light of other factors presented herein. All three were filed in their CORPORATE capacity. As I understand it, CORPORATIONS, as legal fictions, cannot swear to anything. Only a natural person can make an oath. Therefore, if any of these were making an oath as their STRAWMAN (judging from the documents, this is the case), they hold no validity; and hers, especially, is denied. Here’s some of my research into this matter…

[Why then, in this case, is there an attempt to hold me personally responsible for the trust created by Dr. Mary?]

That’s only the first part of her apparent fraud. The other matter is defending the mortgage itself. Besides what has already been established through my affidavits, of which Ms. Rezanka was fully apprised in prior (uncontested) affidavits, the fact is that the mortgage was obtained through my ignorance of the scam perpetrated upon me by the government, vis-à-vis the STRAWMAN. Since I have plainly and lawfully severed the connection between my natural and artificial self, any apparent contract made with a STRAWMAN is void. It was not made with full disclosure of pertinent facts, which is fraud. There are five principle elements of fraud: 1) False representation of fact; 2) Party knows it is false; 3) False representation made with the intent to be relied upon; 4) Innocent party reasonably relied upon false representation; 5) Innocent party must suffer a loss.

[Only I, as STRAWMAN, signed it in ignorance! There was no second party at all!]

However, in this case, I had every intention, not being aware of the fraud involved, to pay the mortgage as soon as the Merritt Island property was sold. Because of the lawsuit, I was unable to sell that property even though two offers ($870,000 and $850,000) were made. Both were withdrawn upon revelation of the lawsuit, which Ms. Rezanka knew full well was the case, and then she made “deliberate concealment of material information in a setting of fiduciary obligation. (See McNally v. U.S., 483 U.S. 350, 371-372, Quoting U.S. v Holzer, 816 F.2d. 304, 307 … quoted previously in more detail.) Since then, I have become aware of the fraud in this and many other matters through exhaustive research of which this is but one example.

Therefore, I contend that fraud has been committed in these proceedings, leading to just cause for an Estoppel, which I will get to later.

Before, I proceed with my motions, I feel it is my ethical responsibility to educate each of you, as officers of the court, as well as anyone else involved in this matter or anyone who may take the time to read this brief once it is filed and also posted on my website. It is my clear intent to be gracious with you as I expect you to be with me. Yes, I am appealing to that innate part in each of us (yes, in you as well) to recognize truth when we see it. The old adage is still powerful in its simplicity: The truth shall set you free. Until all of us are free, all of us are virtual straw men and straw women, separated egos living in ignorance and creating the experience of fear.

The genie is out of the bottle; and no one, regardless how rich or seemingly powerful, can put it back inside. The gig is up! The game is over. We can all win when we help each other win; and that is and has been my sincere intention.

So, how did we get this idea of a STRAWMAN; and what does this have to do with each of us? Here are some interesting revelations I believe are truth; and I am submitting them as truth in this affidavit with a willingness to learn more. Here is the rest of the info from http://www.educationcenter2000.com/STRAWMAN_01.html promised a bit ago.

Again, I did not write this; but it does feel mostly true to me (except for the IRS part), and thus liberating. Uncontested, it becomes fact like everything else in an affidavit. The government and its representatives have the responsibility to correct errors, if indeed they exist. Silence is an admission, as we learned earlier. Every human on this planet has been duped by this system – even judges and lawyers and their children. We have been watching, and for the most part sitting idly by as the greatest transfer of wealth in the history of the world takes place in front of us. The elite, whoever they may be, have been amassing “real” wealth at OUR expense. There is, however, as I understand it, an adage in law: money you make with my money is my money. We are all millionaires – every last one of us.

And, we are free once we understand and embrace the truth that each of us is our brother and sister’s keeper. What we do to anyone, we do to ourselves. This was brought to you in love by the Mary Horgan Center for Spiritual Development. This is my mission in life, my contribution to everyone. It’s why Dr. Mary believed in me, recognizing in me the same spiritual visionary gifts that were in her; and why she wanted me to have her house. Did I influence her in the preparation of her estate planning documents? Of course. I’ve said so before. I wanted her to keep her word to her late husband and to honor those friends that helped her toward the end of her earthly sojourn. Still, she did not listen when I encouraged her to leave something for Gene and Phyllis. Never did I force her to do anything she did not want to do, nor could I have; and I made no manipulative promises to her as the Wilhelm’s had done according to what she, herself, told me. That’s the God’s honest truth; and I was there with her more than anyone else, even holding her hand as she passed from this world to the next. If I did anything wrong or improper, it was through personal ignorance, never with an intent to defraud or harm anyone.

That’s my counterclaim and my judgment as a freeman equal with each of you before our Creator. It is based on YOUR laws as I understand them, as well as other material revelations regarding our human society – as opposed to the Law Society.

Also, I ask the court to void the mortgage supposedly held now by PNC BANK, NATIONAL ASSOCIATIONaccording to Ms. Rezanka. The three other attorneys in the case also made this motion more than a year ago; however, the facts presented herein are far weightier than their arguments, based, as they are on current events within the courts of the UNITED STATES and FLORIDA, including Federal Courts and the Florida Court of Appeals. The reasons are obvious.

Once again, I remind you that I have relinquished all claim to the property located at 10090 South Tropical Trail in Merritt Island, Florida. Let the remaining parties decided among them how it is to be sold and the proceeds distributed. I realize that the value of that property, in today’s terms, has diminished by at least 50%. Everyone lost here, including me. Learn to play nicely with each other. There is enough for everyone…always has been if we hadn’t deceived ourselves to the contrary in judging by appearances only. And please don’t exclude Ms. Rezanka from getting some remuneration (unless she has been getting paid along the way); she has worked very hard. Recognize that justice is more than just applying law. Determining intent if far more applicable; and without greed in the way, it is not difficult to determine if we pay attention and listen to our hearts.

On this, the 17th day of March, 2010, before me a notary public, the undersigned officer, personally appeared Ron Van Dyke, known to me (or satisfactorily proven) to be the person whose name is subscribed above, and acknowledged that he executed this 19-page affidavit for the purposes therein contained.
In witness hereof, I hereunto set my hand and official seal.

This document is filed with the court named on page one with copies electronically submitted to the following on Tuesday, March 17, 2010:

Allan P. Whitehead
Keith S. Kromash
Kimberly B. Rezanka
Robert E. Bickford
Marion Johannesen
Bob Wilhoit
Sandra Oak

Now they are officially trying to take my home! Oh, yes! They don't even want to wait for the sham of the trial they scheduled for April 12-13 that denies my right, which they swore to uphold and defend, to present my case before a jury of my peers. You heard me correctly. Ms. Kim Rezanka, attorney for the bank that inherited the fraudulent mortgage from another bank that also inherited it from the bank that created it, has filed a motion with the Court of Criminal Injustice for a final summary judgment. She's asking the judge, who has taken his oath of office at least twice, to unlawfully attach my unencumbered homestead property to the mortgage, the home that is also called The Mary Horgan Center for Spiritual Development. Yes, they believe they have a license to steal; and people like them have been stealing from people like us for a long time. If people only knew, if we would only wake up to the great deceptions that abound, if only....

My first reaction when I read the motion was fear, then anger. Now, I am beginning to respond, even as those feelings flow through my body and soul. If they think I'm going to just roll over, tuck my long-lost tail between my legs and play dead...they do not realize how they are awakening the sleeping giants within me. I'm not going to be their victim, not without standing up for my God-given rights as a human being. Even if I have to stand alone, which I hope will not be the case, I will confront them in their hypocrisy of pretending to be upholders of justice while doing all they can to undermine the truth and subvert the very constitutional rights they promised to defend when they became lawyers and judges. That's why I referred to it as the Court of Criminal Injustice.

Perhaps you don't know what I have written about this before and filed on my website, so let me give you a brief overview. My "spiritual" mom, Dr. Mary Horgan, died in 2005. The trust that we, as her friends, helped her prepare, gave me basically 50% of her estate. Her ex-banker had convinced her that if she signed her property over to him and his wife, they would make sure that she would never have to live in a nursing home. That was a big fear for her. Anyway, when she realized she had made a mistake, she asked me for help. A handful of her friends and I did our best in getting her property back and helping her create a trust. At her request, we used the paralegal service that was located next door to her long-time hairdresser. From what I have learned, there were apparently some mistakes, technical errors that gave the lawyers a loophole once the banker's wife filed suit challenging the trust. Since I was named the trustee, the lawyers blame me for the errors that were made in innocence and ignorance. In a nutshell, that is the basis for their license to steal and to attempt to subvert the wishes of Dr. Mary in the distribution of her assets. Given the time it has taken so far, the lawyers would end up with everything, especially now that property values have plummeted so drastically.

To be sure, the case is very, very complicated, all the more so because of the myriad of statutes and codes within the Uniform Commercial Code that makes up the admiralty court system. Those "laws" effectively undermine and overrule the rights human beings are granted by their Creator and guaranteed by the very documents upon which this nation was founded and to which lawyers and judges swear their oath. Unless challenged, this monster will continue to operate and defraud all of us. Fortunately, many are awakening and standing up to the injustice of a system that has allowed 5% or less of the population to amass 90-95% of the world's material wealth. Yes, they have been able to do this in large part because they have bought political prostitutes who created the "legal" though unlawful framework that has both encouraged and protected the fraud. It's a huge conspiracy and a Ponzi scheme of massive proportions.

For example, did you know that you do not even own the property on which you live, even if you have no liens or mortgages? You are, under this perverted system, a tenant on your own land and have to pay rent in the form of property taxes. Did you know that these so-called government agencies are, in fact, for profit corporations; and that they invest the taxes received on the stock market, making multiple millions and even much more that is never reported to the public? (Google CAFR. It will blow your mind!) Did you know that under the fractional reserve/fiat system, money is created from nothing whenever someone borrows? Did you know that the very institutions that create mortgages never even sign them (no lawful contract); and that they are listed on their books as assets, not liabilities? Did you know that these institutions have routinely sold the very papers you singed to create the money, which you did not know you were doing, have bundled and sold these "assets" to other greedy people who want to get something for nothing? They are called derivatives or collateralized debt instruments or mortgage backed securities or other nice-sounding names. Did you know that these mortgages, over 60 million of them in the USA, are held by MERS (Mortgage Electronic Registration Systems) to track ownership, and that MERS has no proprietary interest in the mortgages, and no legal standing either? (Read "Who Owns Foreclosed US Properties? Part II: The Role of MERS" that is found on my website at http://www.metagroups.info/GuestArticles.htm#WHOOWNS)

If you were to understand what I am telling you, you would realize why I call it a license to steal. There is so much information available that reveals the truth; yet so many remain in the dark about these matters that literally enslave us as indentured servants (debt slaves) to the elite establishment. Worse, many are willfully ignorant, refusing to even listen to the facts. That saddens me a great deal.

I don't know what results I will achieve by my efforts. All I can do is my best, armed with the trembling confidence of David going up against Goliath and believing that "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world". I am encouraged by the fact that there are actual legal precedents in which judges have ruled against the banks, declaring the mortgages null and void. However, the judge in my case, J. Preston Silvernail, has very low ratings as a judge according to what I can learn about him online. One law professor gave him straight F's; and his average rating is D-. As I've said in other papers filed with the court, he does not even have proper jurisdiction in this matter, since trusts are not in the lawful realm of probate court; yet he did not dismiss himself when he moved from Civil to Probate. Of course Probate Court is a private little group of attorneys and judges who tend to support each other in their legal society of fraud and robbery. So far, virtually every motion made by the lawyers has been approved; and every motion or affidavit I have submitted has been either denied or ignored, mostly the latter. So many memories of injustice, it boggles my mind....

Can you see why I am asking for your prayers and other support, in whatever manner you can give it? Ironically, when I am responding to this situation with action, either writing or visualizing my stand, I feel amazingly emboldened, despite the odds. Of one thing I am intellectually convinced, nothing is an accident and everything has meaning. Light ultimately wins and Truth always prevails in the end. I don't always feel that high though. I wish I did. In the end, death is an illusion, like so much of this 3D scenario; and I know this: I am willing to physically die in defending the truth. As Patrick Henry said, and many of our forefathers in the grand experiment demonstrated with their very lives, "Give me Liberty or give me death!" Yes!

MONOLOGUE: SEXUALITY & INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
How I’ve Sabotaged My Own Peace and Pleasure

Intimate relationships are probably the single biggest challenge in my life, especially those that involve sexual relations or those with the desire for that level of closeness on one side or the other. Being deeply introspective, I analyze this repeatedly, searching for reasons why and answers to a host of questions that plaque my mind.

Let me start out, once again, by admitting my truth: I am a sexually inhibited and unfulfilled man. I chose at a very early age to buy into the spiritually abusive dogmas of western religion that virtually demonize the body, especially its sexual functions. I say, “I chose…” even though I was not consciously aware of an alternative belief at the time. Spirit was good; flesh was evil! That’s the way it was taught and perceived. Only within marriage was sexual activity acceptable. That was my reality as I came into sexual maturity on a physical level in my teenage years. I cannot say that I am emotionally or spiritually mature in regard to my sexuality even now after six decades of being in this body. The psychological wounds continue to plague me no matter how much I want to release that programming and its self-sabotaging patterns.

In my penis and vagina monologues, I revealed some of the major issues that come up for me in regard to my sexuality. These were written before my December adventure with my most recent sexual partner. It was at that time that I experienced the longest-lasting orgasm of my life. I did not even know that men could experience wave after wave of rhythmic pulsations that would virtually engulf the entire body for a prolonged period of time; yet I experienced exactly that. However, the relationship could not continue for me; and I was the one who ended it. Despite the bliss, my fear was greater. The reason was my own financial insecurity, knowing that I was unable to support her and myself at my current income level. She had zero income and substantial needs. I could not and would not burden myself with that state of affairs.

You may ask, “What does this have to do with sexuality and intimate relationships?” Everything! It’s all interconnected. Money problems or worries probably do more to sabotage intimate sexual relationships than almost any other factor in our society. For me, they have always been linked; and it was that very issue that caused the ending of my second marriage – one that was otherwise very, very good.

When I inherited money back in 2005, I had several women that all of a sudden seemed interested in me. To me, they did not see me at all – I was the same man I had always been – only I now had money. That was my perception; and I did not trust any of them. I was more than just money; and my money beliefs influenced my decisions. Then, when the lawsuit hit later the same year, everything seemed to shift back to the way it was before. This may have had little or nothing to do with the ladies involved; and everything to do with my own attitudes and perspectives. I’m fairly certain this was the case. To me, sex and money have always been related psychologically. When I felt rich, I attracted women (even if I could not trust them or myself); and when I have felt merely self-sufficient, I have not attracted women I desire; which brings me to another point.

I have been somewhat petrified of sex all my life. You already know the basis for this. I’ve always wanted to be a good boy. I’ve always wanted to do the right thing. Mostly, I have succeeded in staying within the boundaries prescribed by my early training. I was even a virgin when I got married the first time, less than two months before my 22 nd birthday. My second ever lover literally drugged me to get me into bed; and that was after fourteen years of marriage at age 36. Throughout the years, I have startled several women when I refused sexual advances – even some that were very attractive to me. (It’s easy to say no to those that aren’t attractive to me.) In any case, I have rarely been able to simply enjoy my sexuality; and even masturbation has had its moral implications, producing guilt and shame. To me, this is the greatest spiritual abuse ever heaped on the human psyche. I gave my power and self-esteem away because of that false belief. I have been mostly neurotic because of it ever since.

For me, I have almost always waited for the woman to give me a signal that she was interested; which may sound strange given what I wrote a couple minutes ago about refusing women. It’s true though. Whether it is fear of rejection or some other underlying reason, I wait for a signal to know if it is appropriate to express interest sexually. The most I usually do is send subtle signals myself, and watch for a response. Rarely do I receive the response I hope for, at least not from those to whom I send my own signal.

Perhaps another way in which I may sabotage my relationship potential is by laying all my cards on the table from the start of any possible relationship. I share my vision and state up front what I want in a relationship. It’s always purpose driven; never merely pleasure driven. Something in me resists the possibility of simply having fun – probably based on my past conditioning. Fun for fun’s sake seems unacceptable. Only once did I ever enter a sexual relationship, other than a few one-night stands that I hate, with no strings attached; and even though she made the proposal, she was the one who got hurt. She said no man had ever treated her the way I did. Strange! I was not in love with her, did not feel that I needed her in any way, and simply engaged in sexual activity a few times each week for several weeks. I was simply present with her, talked to her as a friend, and was willing to touch her and allow her to touch me. When I began another relationship and ended that arrangement, she tried to hold on and I refused.

Let’s get back to cards on the table. What if, I ask myself, I simply took the cards off the table and had no agenda other than to enjoy each other’s company and touch? What if I did not see her as my potential life partner? Am I capable of that? Am I willing to violate, as I did that one time, my patterned conditioning in regard to sexual intimacy? These are interesting questions to me.

Of this I am convinced: almost globally, we sabotage our most important power, the power to create bliss, joy and pleasure. To me, that is the fertile soil in which we plant the seeds of peace and harmony. Even those who are not morally restricted as I have been seem to have issues that limit them from achieving a state of conscious co-creation in their sexual adventures – other than children, which are sometimes an undesired outcome. What a shame! I am convinced that nothing in all the Cosmos holds the potential for creating all that we most desire than the union of opposites expressed in sexual relationships; yet the human race seems incapable of creating these life-affirming unions. Instead, we seem to use our sexuality to compete with one another for the illusion of control. We literally sabotage our own highest good because of the fears that I have personally experienced, and probably others as well. So few of the people I know seem to have relationships of the kind and potency I have long envisioned; yet I am convinced that these relationships can literally change the world.

For me, and I am the only one I can really change, I will endeavor to become aware and to release the blockages that have prevented me from creating loving relationships in my life. I am willing to let go of the idea that this (any lady that may arouse my desire) is my life partner – as if there can only be one. I am willing to be more up front and state more plainly that I find her sexually attractive, and maybe even ask for sex, scary as that is for me. I don’t know what any of this looks like, how it will play out, or who may be willing to come and play with me, exploring the very human, yet divine dynamics of sexual union. I’m sure I will need help; and I really do want to heal my wounds. Intuitively I know there are levels of intimacy and creativity I have not yet experienced. The best I can offer is a willingness to explore, to accept, and to change. The most I can hope is that someone (or two or three) I find beautiful inside and out will join me in that exploration of Life’s greatest gift. Whatever it takes, I want to be the best I can be and to share my joys of self discovery with others.

You heard me. When I wrote: “I Simply Quit” a few weeks ago, I did not know what that meant. I even said so in that and the poem that followed – both on my website. Since then, I’ve been chewing (as in meditating and contemplating) on what quitting meant to me, and for me. Today, I’m getting it into perspective again…finally. Can I simply quit? Hell no!

That’s not entirely true. I still want to quit expecting results for my labors of love, if that is even possible. When I do my meetings, I had expected people to want to hear what I had to share. After all, I had gained what I thought was a lot of wisdom over the years. Surely people who had known me would be interested in what I had to say. WRONG! People want to be entertained and validated, not learn anything that may be challenging to his or her current perspective. Like me, most want the easy way; and we do not look for challenges unless that is our particular calling in life.

Sue told me on Sunday (she’s the leader of The New Way) what Jesus said 2000 years ago…that a prophet is not without honor except in his own land and among his own people. No, that’s not the way she phrased it, but it is the gist of what she told me. So why should I expect people to want to hear how we’ve all been hoodwinked in the Matrix of a system that has reduced us to virtual slaves…ignorant, of course, of that fact?

That is my calling! As I was told when I was yet a mere lad of about seventeen years, my calling is as a prophet. I tell what needs to be heard, which seems to be always resisted until things get so bad that people finally wake up. That’s my job. It comes with no accolades or other awards…just as it has always been throughout the ages. No, people do not flock to hear truth that often flies in the face of what so often masquerades as conventional wisdom. It’s not wisdom at all…never was; but it strokes the egoic point of view because it avoids that which most wish to deny or simply ignore. Of course, denial is willful ignorance, which is another story.

The question I keep asking myself is simple: Am I supposed to be happy? Certainly I’d like to be. Yet, I do realize that I am connected, as long as I am expressing through my body in a 3D world, to the collective consciousness of the race, and, of perhaps greater significance, to the collective unconscious. The prophet motif does not work unless one is aware of these important elements, otherwise their message could never be relevant. As long as I choose to play that role, I will experience those energies; and they are, for the most part, not happy energies. The world we live in, if you haven’t noticed, is a place of often intense suffering. Grief and sadness run deep. These may not be “real” in the eternal scope of things; but they certainly are experienced by the vast majority as the “only” reality. That’s the way it is.

What would Love do in the face of such overwhelming resistance to perspectives that remind us of the eternal truth of our interconnectedness with all life, and the awareness that Life is huge in the Cosmic sense? Would Love simply focus on being happy alone and ignore the “illusion” of suffering all around? Everything within me shouts, NO! That could never fit my definition of love. Love would cross deserts, climb mountains or dive into the abyss to wake people up, to bring the boon that would lift humanity from its despair by quickening the still small Voice within each soul. Am I to say to that Infinite Love, “Fuck you, I just want to be happy by acting as if none of that exists?” That seems to be what a lot of my “awakened” friends believe, or how they appear to be acting. My truth is that I cannot. Call me neurotic, but I feel that I have to do something…even if my efforts seem to fail completely.

This is a role I am playing, just like everyone else is playing theirs. Were we thrust into these roles, or did we actually choose them at some as yet unconscious level of our being? I have felt many times that I did choose this, even at the conscious level. Yes, I’ve had my doubts. I’ve argued vehemently with whatever it is that I call God. I have felt the rage of alienation in a world I so desperately want to love, including the world within me…and at some level of awareness I know that all of it IS within me. While I have had my moments of pure bliss, that is not my moment-by-moment experience. Quite the contrary! Bliss is fleeting, while sadness and grief pervade my conscious awareness. Still, I cannot really quit. Hell no! To do so would, to me, betray my perceived calling.

I may not have much light in the Cosmic scheme of things, but what light I have, or think I have, I will let shine. I have something I know is valuable to share with others. I may not be able to save the world; but I am able to share my perceptions of where we gave our power away. I can relate my own struggle to see in a world of darkness, which often masquerades as light. Most importantly, I can still love, imperfect though it may be, it’s what I do have; and I choose to love. Love gets involved, even in the illusion.

I thought I was done. Guess not! I heard the question: “Ron, wouldn’t you be able to help more and love better if you could rise above the suffering and communicate from a place of joy instead of sorrow?”

Sounds good! I’ve been searching for that place all my life. Since childhood I have felt God in and around me. I have been to the mountaintop of glory and the valley of despair. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that joy produces the greatest power for transformation possible, perhaps in all Creation. Still, joy must not be a euphoric feeling as I imagine it to be. Otherwise, how could anything good ever be created? How, I wonder, could even God feel joy when His/Her children are blind and lost? Joy must be something else…perhaps hope based on the knowing that Life always survives death, and Light always extinguishes the darkness.

I have that intellectual knowing. Sometimes I feel it, too. It is at those times that I feel I really KNOW the truth. Perhaps joy is not a feeling at all? Perhaps quitting is not an option? What if there really is meaning in all that we experience, regardless of the labels we attach? Ultimately, I believe there is. With trembling I see the promised land: abundance, celebration, freedom, grace, peace, love and everyone knowing, beyond doubt, who he or she is, who we all are…Children of the Ever-living God.

That's what I felt when I woke up from a nap a short time ago; but how does one simply quit? As I lay there pondering my dream, many thoughts ran through my mind.

This was the message I was hearing: stop trying to save the world, Ron! It's not your job!

Yes, I guess I have always felt that it was my job. Much of what I have done in my life has had this as its motivation. All of the ways that I have chosen to serve others, serve the community and serve the higher good, as I perceive it, has been based primarily on what I see as my duty to bring the changes to the world that will correct the problems I see there. This has been the foundation for my life that I have never questioned. No wonder I'm so neurotic!

How often have I been frustrated by my own service when others didn't respond the way that I thought they should? Believe me, my disappointment in the effectiveness of my service has often led to very deep feelings that I have labeled as negative. The harder I would work at serving others, the more disappointment I often felt. Have I been doing the right things for the wrong reason? Perhaps so!

Last night Scott Christiansen Gabriel spoke at my Wednesday-night S.E.L.F. group. What he shared landed with me, although I could not articulate it right away. All I can honestly say is that I felt movement as I went to bed afterwards, then again as I got up very, very early this morning for my prayers and meditation, and continuing movement as I began my day’s tasks. Something was churning deep inside of me. Then, after several hours, I took a late morning nap.

I guess never before had I thought about the foundation of my life as being incorrectly described and defined. I just took it for granted that that was the truth! I was a man with a big, big mission in life. What a weight that placed on my shoulders! No wonder it has been so difficult for me to have fun. No wonder I have so often felt "not good enough" to please God. This is perhaps the deepest layer of self-discovery I've yet experienced.

Scott said that the purpose of life is simply to have fun and enjoy it. What a concept! How can I have fun when I see so many problems in the world? How can I have fun when so many people do not even hear the message that I have believed was my task to share with them? I have felt like such a failure, wanting to just throw in the towel so many times. I had a different type of quitting in mind, since I was so frustrated with living. I would simply pray to die, “Take me home, God!”

Usually when I get these revelations, I feel elated. I rationalize that this, whatever that new revelation may be, is the answer that will finally help me succeed and be fulfilled. Of course I would think that. After all, I was broken and I needed something that would fix me. This time however, I do not feel elated. It's not even easy to say what I do feel. As I look in and breathe deeply, the feeling words that come to mind are: naked, exposed, raw, passive, uncertain, empty and even a bit fearful or apprehensive. I don’t feel guilt or shame even though I do feel as if my entire life has been built on a false foundation. I guess maybe it has been.

I would expect to be devastated at this point; but that's not how I feel. It brings a sense of relief just knowing that my idea of my life mission was off the mark; nevertheless, I don't feel that everything's been wasted. Nothing’s been lost here. I feel as if this is simply a new beginning. That's what Scott was giving to us last night – the opportunity for a new beginning as we start 2010.

At this point, I don't know what it means to simply quit. I don't feel sure about anything; yet at the same time I'm feeling at peace. I’m feeling as if I have released a tremendous load. Even though I can sense tears welling up in me, I hold them back. Somehow I'm sensing the world completely differently than what I have sensed previously. Yet, I know the world has not changed at all... but maybe I have. Maybe I don't have to solve any problems. Maybe I don't have to fix anything. Maybe I don't have to get people to listen to me. Maybe now I can allow all of the experiences that I have wanted so much in my life to simply come to me. Maybe now, for the first time since I was a little boy, I will be able to play and really have fun! Maybe I can even experience miracles of fulfillment! As Scott said, that will change the world.

I don't know what this is supposed to look like; I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now; and I haven't figured out what it means. It's almost as if someone took a big eraser and simply erased everything, leaving me with a clean slate. I don't even feel the need to continue adding words. For now, I'm finished. I simply quit and choose to live more simply…whatever that means.

Creation is the quintessential nature of humankind. It is the way we are made in God’s image. Male and Female, Gods and Goddesses, we are all co-creators. We always have been, and always will be. Collectively, we co-created the world we see, the world we seem to live in every day of our earthly lives. Unfortunately, our creations have been, for the most part, unconscious. It could not be any other way, since we have been aware only of our finite and limited selves commonly known as egos. Yes, this is the game WE CREATED together: to seem separate and disconnected, alone and isolated.

This apparent alienation from the bigger view of Life has caused us to fear the unknown; and our fear (false evidence appearing real) has created confusion, producing a world of virtual insanity where the isolated parts wage war at various levels in order to gain one-upmanship and the illusion of control. This occurs within each of us at the level of our ego consciousness as it sabotages our own highest good and best interests. You’ve heard the saying, and it is true of all of us: “I am my own worst enemy.”

That “reality” of self-sabotage plays out in the larger picture of our world as well, manifesting as governments that not only lie to everyone – just as our egos lie to each of us – they actually conspire at various levels, seen and unseen, to undermine the common good for reasons of greed and, once again, the illusion of control. The defense mechanisms created to bolster that illusion are always based on fear, which in turn is based on the lie of separation from our supreme truth and our greatest good. This has created an apparently dangerous world; and, it is an illusion, albeit, with all sorts of co-created false evidence that appears real.

However, in this time of the exponential evolution of our human consciousness, the lie of separation is now evaporating for many of us as we are finally seeing the mystical truth of our infinite interconnectedness through the eyes of the “new science” of quantum physics. That truth is shaping the way we co-create, giving us the opportunity for the first time in literal ages and eons to create from a place of knowing how powerful we really are. We are powerful enough, once we see it, to actually create an entirely new world where peace reigns because truth is embraced with love. Yes, many of us already know that we have the will and the ability to overcome all of the problems and obstacles we co-created in our reality up to the present time in our evolvement, not only in our personal lives, but also at the macrocosmic level of institutions of control.

Individually, we have tremendous potential to make a greater impact on our experiential reality than ever before in our known history. This is true simply because we can finally see from a higher perspective and begin to know that it is impossible for the lie of separation to have ever been true. How can one be truly separate from a Creator that is everywhere present throughout all Creation at all times?! If we ever fell off the path, where did we land, if not in the arms of the Almighty whose love is everlasting and whose truth endures to all generations? Yes, I am saying with emphasis that: WE DELUDED OURSLEVES by co-creating an apparent reality that was, in fact, not even possible from the get-go. That, in itself, is a quite amazing accomplishment: that we would lie to ourselves and actually believe our own lie. Amazing, but true!

All that is changing with the advent of Cosmic Energies that shine the Light into the darkness of our self-deceit. This gives us the opportunity, possibly for the first time, to actually make choices based on reality rather than the illusions we co-created. The biggest and most important reality is what it always has been: LOVE! Not only have we always been loved unconditionally by our Creator, we have always had the ability to love as well. Yes, we could have always loved just as unconditionally, were it not for believing our own lies. Now we know it. We can remember this, if we choose to do so. Love is Life-Force Energy that literally sends out continuous ripples throughout all Creation. It is that energy that calls us home to our eternal reality of At-One-Ment with God, or whatever you want to call the Primal Force that permeates All That Is.

We also have the opportunity, if we so choose, to magnify that energy exponentially. You may ask, and what might that be? Relationships! The merging of masculine and feminine energies co-creates new life expressions. Yes, of course this refers to children, but not just children. It refers to ANYTHING that is jointly envisioned and felt in the act of sexual/spiritual union. This has long been a significant part of my personal vision (more so since reading the Anastasia series by Vladimir Megre). My greatest desire is to join with my spiritual partner and help co-create a new world where peace dominates and love rules. Of course I have to have a partner willing to join with me in that vision, recognizing her eternal identity as I do mine. We are cosmic beings, literally gods and goddesses. She is my co-Creatrix.

I have finally made a very detailed list of her qualities; and every day I commune with her in Spirit. We share our love now, even as we draw closer together in the physical realm. When we finally come together on this plane, our potential will increase tenfold at least. To me, this is the most effective form of co-creation possible in the physical world. It is why I consider sex a sacred union. It is why I say NO to some whom I do not feel are yet in alignment with my vision. How can two co-create anything worthwhile if they are at odds with each other? Even children conceived and born of such mismatched unions come into this plane wounded. It cannot be any other way as I see it. Wounded children, until they heal, co-create a wounding world…just like the one we have been living in all of our lives, the one WE co-created with our wounded egos.

How are we going to co-create tomorrow’s world any differently? Each person, by him or herself, can contribute powerfully by envisioning the world from the eternal perspective: an eternal place of Love and Truth. Believing this to be a higher reality for all of us at this time, I challenge those who feel they are here for such a time as this, when everything is in a state of flux awaiting our decision in how we are going to imprint the new reality, to open your heart and invite your partner to manifest in your life. Finding our spiritual partners and co-creating through passion and joy accelerates the changes. Joy, after all, is our strength, just as fear has been our weakness. Of course, if you already have a partner, awaken to your true potential and use your passion to co-create the world of your greatest dream.

We can do it! We literally stand at the threshold of the greatest Renaissance in human history. It is a time of unparalleled creativity as the very consciousness with which we co-created the world we have long known is changing. Yes, there are battles, internal and external, between the old and the new. Our egos chatter away, trying to maintain the status quo and avoid change at all costs. This is true, again, on both levels: individual and collective. The very structure of our society is cracking at its very foundation: LIES! More and more people around the world are finally recognizing the fraud and deception, making the control game virtually impossible. Of course, this merely reflects the quantum change in human consciousness.

2010 will be a year of major change. It is the final countdown to the end of the old system of things, even as it is also the launching of a new age of conscious co-creation. We don’t have to wait for 2012; the new energies are here now. This is why there are more people alive on Planet Earth today than in all of human history combined. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the co-creators of tomorrow’s world today. Are you ready?

If we keep making ourselves smaller and smaller, will we finally be acceptable to the angry, impotent God we have created in our own limited image?

Did you never read the (I believe it was Jonathan Edwards') famous sermon: Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God? I read it in junior high school. It was in the Prose and Poetry textbook. I can't remember the words now, but I do recall that he painted a vivid word picture of sinful humanity being dangled over the flames of hell by a God who was mighty pissed off with our shortcomings. It was a carefully designed, conscious attempt, it seems, by the minister, to create righteousness by increasing fear and guilt. Sadly, there are still those today who see God in that way and play that game. I call their religion: Reductionist Spirituality .

Of course the word literally means one who reduces, i.e., a reductionist. Applied to spirituality, it is one who believes that we have developed evil members – appendages of some sort – wicked propensities that make us unacceptable to God. So, those holding such a belief reduce themselves by attempting spiritual surgery on the appendages and denial of the propensities. It is an attempt to become whole (false holiness) by rejecting misunderstood parts and natural life forces. But healing (fulfillment) can never work that way. It's impossible! We can never be healed by subtraction – only by fully filling ourselves with love for all that we are and all that we experience!

What happens when we try to deny a thought, an emotion, a desire, a need, or any other thing in our human experience? Does not the very thing we try to silence, by either ignoring or denying it, scream all the more loudly? That has certainly been my experience. But why? What's up with this? Why can't we be more in control?

Before I answer the last question, let me back up and talk some about the impotent God created by reductionist spirituality.

Oh, yes! Anytime we try to subtract from whatever is; we inevitably reduce God too. Remember, God is All and in All. God is everywhere present, all knowing, and all-powerful (omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent). What do these theological terms mean? They're pretty highfalutin words. Well, the first part gave the clue: all in all. Without understanding that clue, reductionist spirituality is the only religion that makes sense. This is because we live in a dualistic world. Everything is divided into opposites. Not only are there opposites, but the opposites appear to be in opposition to each other. The polarities are polarized. It is a world in conflict that is the natural result of individual souls in conflict. As within, so without! What we see reflected in our world is the direct result of what we believe is true about ourselves – unconscious though it may be.

Most of us are products of, that is, our lives reflect reductionist spirituality. The war in the heavens and the wars on earth are merely the outplay of division in our individual souls – and, for a long time, the Cosmic Oversoul too. That's right. God is the Cosmic Oversoul. And God was, as it were, divided. The division of God is called creation. Heresy! Sacrilege! Blasphemy! Ok, already! So stone me!

But pause for a moment first, ok? If God is all and in all (which I believe has to be the only reasonable truth), and we perceive anything that we consider outside of God, then God is no longer all or in all – for us. Our reductionist spirituality reduced God; and in that reduction and division, we made God impotent – for ourselves. And guess what? That is exactly how God became – to us. Impotent – just like us!

It's not that God is, in Reality, divided, but we have made Him so. You see, that is the nature of God: malleable. This may sound far-fetched to most; but God conforms to whatever shape we put Him in. Sort of! The Universe reflects our beliefs about Life to a great extent – even our misbeliefs about God. That seems to me to be the way things work in the real world.

Think! Really think. Look at your life. Do not the things you really believe are true show up in your experience? I'm not talking about the things you want to believe are true. Forget those for a moment. Focus on the things you really believe. Are you conscious enough to do this? I hope so, because if you are, you will see that your true beliefs always manifest…and if you're like I am, that has a tendency to piss you off now and again.

We are! God gave us dominion over the world. That means we're in charge…sort of. Earlier I asked, "Why can't we be more in control?" And then I started talking about impotence. Exactly! Do you get it?

We have this pitiful God that we created by reductionist spirituality that goes so far back into our sub- and unconscious that we forgot that Whole IS Reality! We forgot.

And now it's time to remember. Re-membering is allowing all our parts to be acceptable (loved) again. It's lovingly putting our members back together. Instead of reductionists, we must become inclusionists. Why? Because everything IS included in the All in ALL. No exceptions! Nothing to eliminate! Ignoring and denial must be seen as a learning experience from which we can recover. [I love this language!] Yes, re-cover! We can change the skin of our beliefs and cover ourselves in a tapestry of wholeness. That covering (recovery) will absolutely transform us. "How does it work in the real world?" you ask.

Like this: whatever we refuse to love – unconditionally – will control us! The unloved will always be who is in control. Those pesky little trolls control us for the simple reason that we rejected them. We tried our best to keep them outside; but that's impossible. Why? Because everything is inside! It's all an inside job. And when we have tried to keep anything outside, our lives became out of control to give us the opportunity to see that we were creating anti-reality. We believed and behaved as if there were another reality than Love. We became personifications of the antichrist!

Who is the antichrist? The antichrist is one who denies that God is come in the flesh to reconcile and restore all that has appeared lost. That doesn't mean one who denies that Jesus was God in the flesh as some Christians teach, although that may be part of it. No! It is the denial that The Anointed One of God is in OUR FLESH … right now and forevermore!

I trust you can see from the gist of what I have been writing that we make God impotent by reducing ourselves. Only as we recognize our own greatness will God assume full stature in our living experience. This is how mastery is developed. It is transformation that results from the recognition that we are part of the whole, interconnected and unconditionally loved. We are gods! Far from blasphemy, that is the only truth that will set us free. And, properly understood, we overcome the ego when we grasp that Reality. Why? Because, we know that we are responsible, not only for our own lives, but also for the effect our lives have on others. Being gods, we ARE LOVE! Anything that is not loving is simply out of character with who we essentially are.

The key to transforming the ego is not attacking or denying it. The key to overcoming bad habits that make us unproductive is not reformation of behavior, but transformation of perception. Seeing is everything! Without seeing, we cannot know, and as long as we do not know who we really are, we will never stand under the absolute grace of God. And without that grace, there is no salvation.The Christians are right about this. By grace are we saved, through faith, and that is not of ourselves. It is the gift of God ever given to be received joyfully with humility.

A final and closing word about humility is this. I am that I am may seem arrogant to those who do not stand under God's grace, the practitioners of reductionist spirituality who, in essence, castrate God. Yet, to walk in the integrity of our complete self is the only true humility.

It's time for the new paradigm of the most ancient truth – WE ARE ONE! – to transform our lives now and forevermore. Jesus prayed, "Father, that they all may be one in us…" Amen … Are you willing to see unity instead of division?

Intimate relationships: are they a bane or a blessing? For anyone who has been on this earth plane for more than two decades, the consensus may well be: BOTH! Most have experienced the pleasure and the heartache; and even for those who may have never been in an intimate relationship with another human being, the daydreams alone often create both extremes in our minds. Intuitively we somehow know that “the connection” offers tremendous rewards, even though we may also deeply fear the risks involved. Why? Because relationships at the level of sexual intimacy automatically create vulnerability, a naked honesty whether spoken or unspoken! Unspoken is probably the norm for most people. We are often silent in regard to our thoughts and feelings about this most powerful of all human interactions, especially those that lie deep beneath the surface with only inklings of awareness breaking through on occasion.

It is my intention to expose what I feel is the crucial and generally unconscious truth that causes such disillusionment in regard to our sexual intimacy and relationships. These are my perceptions. Far from the false, moralistic concept of religion, I believe it is the soul itself that draws us like a magnet towards intimate connections with other human beings. The soul, using the very emptiness created as we leave it behind to enter the individuation process of becoming physical humans – yet remaining connected to higher dimensions – is constantly reminding us that there is more to life. The emptiness longs to be filled. Yes, it is a biological drive, but with very spiritual implications and importance…more than most ever realize in our normal state of limited consciousness.

Why is our consciousness limited? Having forgotten our connection with our Higher Self, we develop the perception that we are separate as we live and express our individuality through our bodies. Separation is a misperception we convince ourselves is true. It becomes our consensus reality. Separation consciousness becomes the driving force in all that we experience throughout our lives…and it is a self-deception. Is it any wonder then that our relationships with one another are so often problematic? We believe a fabrication about who we are and are unaware of it because it seems real enough to us. Seemingly split off from that infinite and eternal connection with our higher self, how can we possibly become unified with another in a fulfilling way when we do not even do that within our own being? Looking at the actual experience of human relationships, we obviously cannot…unless we can change our perspective. A paradigm shift is required.

One of my favorite sayings, which I think is an original, is this: You can’t get there from there…only from here! In other words, we have to begin with the lies we have told to ourselves again and again throughout our personal dramas. We have to own the lies and take responsibility for them. No more scapegoating or blame shifting! If we can commit, to ourselves, that we are masters of our own destiny and creators of our own experience, rather than victims of outside forces, we have a chance to create what I am calling quantum relationships. Quantum, as I am using the word, is the smallest particle or essence of any reality. It is all about the discovery of the quintessential factor of existence itself: that the inner is always manifested outwardly, and that there are always connections between our invisible world and our life experience.

So, what stands in the way of discovering the mindset needed for the creation of relationships that are both healing and empowered? In a word: Lies! Believing lies stands in silent opposition to cosmic reality or truth; and lies produce all sorts of negative emotions and troubling experiences because they are not in harmony with our essential reality. Every one of us has skeletons in our closets because of this. There are simply things we believe about ourselves that we feel, if the truth were known, would make us unacceptable and unloved; so we convince ourselves to keep them hidden. We rationalize that the denizens of our deep must be kept in darkness lest they destroy us. Another lie! More self-deception! This is the creator of our experiential reality, which the Universe or God, honoring our free will, allows us to live out, though hoping we come to our senses as the prodigal son or daughter in the pigsty.

I am convinced that the ONLY way we can change our world is by changing our relationships, first with our own self, then with those closest to us. We MUST start seeing from the perspective of our higher self and live from that perspective to the best of our ability. We must allow ourselves mistakes, gracing our own being with compassion as we shift from separation consciousness to the cosmic awareness that everything is interconnected to everything else. There is no more appropriate or powerful way to accomplish this than through intimate relationships. That’s what I believe anyway.

As I said earlier, intimate relationships automatically create vulnerability. That is NOT a weakness, as our underdeveloped egos would insist. It is an opportunity to become honest with our … SELVES, both of them. What do I mean by both? Relationships create mirror images. Beyond the personal identity of each partner, there are transpersonal or archetypal realities. These WILL manifest in intimate relationships. The hidden content of our souls – trapped in our DNA and replicating lifetime after lifetime – must be liberated. Though these demons are delusions, when believed and accepted as real, they nevertheless exert power over us, stripping us of our potential for creating fulfillment. Since each of us is basically blind to these things in our self – our blind spots – our partner’s cosmic role is to help us see what’s in there, in the unknown content of our own souls. It happens all the time, which places experiential stress on our relationships. It shows up as the power struggles that go on in relationship after relationship. Can anyone relate?

That reminds me of my first adult poem written in 1977 called Longings. It began: “I was all alone, no friend by me, tossed and troubled on Life’s cruel sea. I wanted to run; but where could I go? I couldn’t escape from myself, I know. Flee, yes flee; I’ll follow the sun. But where could I go, where could I run? Wherever I’d go, I’d still have me…tossed and troubled on Life’s cruel sea.”

Relationships, the way we have been doing them for a long time, do not seem to work as well as we might like. They do not always create fulfillment, and often only temporary satisfaction at best. Sooner or later, the invisible forces of our soul go to work and force our lies and denials to the surface where they must be dealt with in some manner. The manner so often chosen is to run away, clam up, or explode in confrontation and sometimes violence. That, my friends, is how powerfully our ego tries to keep the deception operative. It’s job, until we come to our senses, is to mislead us and to betray our highest good. It manifests everywhere in our world. It is how we created the visible world we live in right now.

Quantum relationships are new-paradigm relationships. The foundation for these is not looking for someone out there to complete me or fulfill me in my self-deception, that is, to bolster my immature ego with mere temporary gratification that only further delays my growth. The new paradigm that is imploding upon our consciousness is nothing less than unconditional love operating through total truthfulness. Cosmic energies from the Great Central Sun of Creation itself have been unleashed. As the Light gets brighter, nothing will remain hidden. All secrets will be exposed. Those who resist will not be able to grow up and integrate their ego with their higher self until they surrender to truth. Those who embrace the apocalypse, which is the revealing of truth, will be transformed and transform the world.

Creating this new kind of relationship calls for tremendous courage. Each participant must embrace both realties implied here: the lower and higher natures expressed by our worldview as being either separated or connected to Life itself. When they both realize that there are invisible connections and a higher purpose at work, each becomes both a self-healer and a healer of others. Each is willing to go where they have never consciously gone before, to create something of which they have no personal experience within their memory. It adds an entirely new dimension to intimate relationships; and, I contend, it enriches and empowers the partners for levels of creation of unsurpassed possibilities.

I have shared this vision with some I thought might be willing to plumb the depths and scale the heights of our infinite and eternal beings – together with me. These obviously did not see what I see. To date, all have run away or simply cut off communication. One said, “You want to fly; and I’m not ready to fly yet.” Most remain unwilling to live on the cutting edge of the co-creation of a brave new world, choosing instead to remain in the familiarity (notice LIAR in the middle of the word itself) of what has become accepted as the “norm” for relationships.

Oh yes, my vision is about conscious co-creation, not of babies, beautiful as they are, but of new worlds with new realities. Far from being what we have called normal, these relationships magnify the healing energies now impinging upon human consciousness. While each of us has power inherent within our own beings, that power rises exponentially in an intimate and passionate relationship in proportion to each party’s willingness to explore the level of relationships called forth within my vision. Each allows the other’s weaknesses and misconceptions to surface without fear of rejection or reprisal from the partner, since each has chosen to see the other as a Divine being returning to higher consciousness. I wanted to reflect this in my poem: My Fantasy Lover, which I will read in conclusion.

Before I conclude, however, let me challenge each of you to explore, read and re-read what I have said here, and consider the possibility of co-creating this vision of intimate relationships that literally have the power of the passion of truth to shift the entire planet into higher dimensions of the experience of pure pleasure and divine love. Namaste.

Over the course of my life I have had the opportunity to listen to the stories of many wounded children. It has often been a heart wrenching privilege, none more painful than the stories of sexual abuse of children by adults. Beginning with stories my mother would tell me about her dad and her brothers, I have been dumbfounded that any adult could take advantage of the innocence of a child. Nevertheless, I am painfully aware that this happens far too often in the sick society of our wounding world.

Hearing the stories of my own relatives early in my teenage years, I resolved never to repeat those heinous sins of my predecessors. Because I can grasp the reality that wounded people, often feeling dirtied and inadequate within themselves, are naturally drawn to the innocence and purity of children, I know that perpetrators of such crimes can only be of very low vibrations on the scale of conscious awareness – otherwise, they could not do such things. This awareness gave me further resolve to do whatever I could to help reawaken human consciousness, beginning with my own. That’s the ONLY place anyone can begin. You see, we are ALL wounded children by the very nature of forgetting who we really are…and how powerful!

Oh, I’m not attempting to justify or rationalize the thoughtless crimes we commit against one another as humans, far from it. I have chosen, for myself, to go inside of me and see the putrid, festering sores attached to my very own soul from lifetimes of unconscious experimentation with all possible thoughts and actions. The only way I could do this, however, is by first coming to a realization that I, the real me, am not some limited accident of birth that lives for a few short decades and then disappears into nothingness. If that were my perception of life, I could easily come to the conclusion that whatever I chose to do, pleasurable or hurtful, makes no difference in the scheme of things. However, my perception is that EVERYTHING has purpose and meaning when perceived from a vantage point that comes closest to being all-inclusive.

Although I am not aware, in this lifetime, of ever committing conscious acts of cruelty towards another human being, recollections of past lives are not that untainted. One of the worst memories recalled during a holotropic breath workshop several years ago was “seeing and feeling” a time when, acting as a high priest, I officiated over the human sacrifice of girls and young women. Since that time of remembrance, I have been unconsciously punishing myself for such an atrocity by energetically pushing people away, especially ladies to whom I felt attraction. Realizing this only recently, I know that I can only forgive myself, which, in so doing allows me to forgive others. Forgiveness is the beginning of healing.

But, Ron, some ask, how can we forgive those who do such awful things? We cannot, IF we still see ourselves as separate, disconnected individuals, each alone and alienated from the rest of the visible and invisible world. ONLY by seeing the interconnectedness of all life, and the perfection of the mirrors we each provide to others, can we finally grasp the possibility that there are no mistakes – only lessons. Realizing this, we know, yes know that all of us are wounded healers awakening to our own infinite and eternal reality as individual expressions of the One Being we call Great Spirit or God. In the Divine, we are interconnected with ALL THAT IS – and everything is pulsating with Life. We are manifestations of that Life.

When I used to hear or read what people were saying, “There are no victims,” my mind went into immediate and reactive overdrive. I could not understand how anyone could so callously refuse to see the world where we live. What do you mean: no victims? What about babies and young children who are raped senseless, murdered without apparent remorse, or oppressed simply because they were born in the wrong place at the wrong time? Injustice and apparent victimization are everywhere to been seen, if we only take time to look; and I cannot help but wonder how anyone seeing such things cannot be moved to overwhelming sadness, and even anger. Look at all the wounded children of God! Behold those that wound them!

It is well known that children who were abused themselves often grow up to become abusers. For children who are wounded, it’s so very hard to heal. The wounds are so deep and the feelings aroused so painful that it seems only natural to be angered and even enraged by it all. Go ahead and feel those feelings. Yes, stop pushing them down and denying them. Feel them intimately and own them. They are yours, the result of our, yours and my experimentation with the idea that we could be separate. The feelings are the natural outcome of trying to live a lie, which we have all done.

Trying to live a lie is the negative meaning of what we call ego, an acronym of which is Edging God Out. The positive side comes from breaking our silence and stopping the defense mechanism of hiding the truth of our feelings and experience. Whatever we have gone through and whatever feelings came up for us: these are our messages to ourselves. What are they saying? To me they have screamed, “Wake up, Ron! Take responsibility! This is the dark side of you crying out for love!” What message do you get? What response will you make?

We stand at the crossroads of sweeping changes in human consciousness. Never before in our recorded history have we been able to see so much of the world around us at the same time. Thanks to the explosion of technological advancement, our world has shrunk enough to make the bigger picture almost visible for anyone. Still, many do not see, drugging themselves with all sorts of diversions that numb the senses and dull the mind. Yet even in such a seemingly unconscious state, the truth seeps into awareness. There’s no place to hide and no lie that can remain unexposed. We are in a time for wounded children to remember, to heal, to come home, and to love one another as part of a single family of time-traveling explorers and creators of alternative realities.

We did a fantastic job of convincing ourselves that our illusion was real. That’s how powerful I am – how powerful we all have been. We did it! We created everything we see or think we see – everything perceived by any of our senses and experienced as our reality…even the wounding and the wounds. Actively or passively, we each played our roles on this stage of human evolution. Every one of us deserves an Academy Award; so give one to yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to acknowledge you. You acknowledge you! You are brilliant and magnificent, clever and creative, and infinitely able to love…yes YOU!

Look around you. Can you see other wounded children? Who better to help the abused heal than one who has been abused herself? Who better to show empathy for another victim than one who was blinded for a time by his own victimhood? Who better than a criminal to lovingly show other criminals the way home? Who better to demonstrate compassion than the one who has experienced a lack of understanding and love in their own life? Who better to forgive than one who has forgiven him or her self?

In the human family, only wounded children exist. That’s what the human experiment has been all about … forgetting who we really are and then wounding each other because we felt alienated and alone. We plumbed the depths of possibility together, producing a sick blame game with powerful lessons to be learned. It’s time for the wounded children to consciously become wounded healers. Soon thereafter, with enough of us waking up, our wounds will be healed; and we will finally have peace on earth. Then the real party begins. I’d love to have you join us. Do you want to come home now? Whenever you’re ready ... hugs await you, and Love smiles upon you with great appreciation.

Hello, God. I want to talk with you; and this time I want to put it in writing. That's not the way it is most of the time when I talk with you; I just talk, expressing what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. I just did that again earlier this morning; and now I want to capture some of the monologue on the screen, then on paper.

I realize that I am your son and that I was with you before time began. I came here this time around to help uplift the world. I knew it would not be an easy task; and it hasn't been. Starting out with little memory of our relationship with each other, it's no wonder that it's been a difficult journey. So I am extremely grateful for all the things that I have remembered, all the pieces of the puzzle I have been able to put back in place, and all of the many connections I have made in this lifetime.

I am remembering, still, that I create my own reality. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way though. Probably the biggest thing is being alone. Yes, I know I've never been alone ... not in the spiritual sense. Physically and emotionally, however, it's been a different story. For so much of my life I've longed to be reunited with my spiritual partner in flesh and blood and bone. I have felt her within me, sensing with appreciation the feminine energy, the nurturing, and the unconditional love. Nevertheless, sharing touch with her has been absent; and touching for a soul in a physical body is an essential component. Without it, thriving is virtually impossible. That’s my perspective, God.

What I have experienced is longing, wanting, desiring and feeling empty so much of the time. Oh, I have learned to be somewhat satisfied being alone, even appreciating the solitude quite a bit of the time. However, when my sense of emptiness is aroused, beckoning feelings of loneliness, my heart seems as if it would break. That's how it's been the past few days especially ... make that the past few weeks.

I don't understand, God, how I am creating the silence coming from the ladies who expressed interest in developing levels of relationship with me – recently and in the past. It's a conundrum that leaves me totally baffled. Wounded and angry too! How is it that I am being treated in a way that I would never treat another; or am I reaping some kind of karma from a past life that I don't remember? It hurts, God, it really hurts. I haven't felt this depressed in a long time, but lately that's what I'm feeling.

While I appreciate all feelings, I really don't like the bad ones. I keep searching, analyzing, trying to find a reason; but I'm coming up empty. I don’t like not having answers, having to move forward blindly with no visible hope.

Some have said that our twin flames will come to us from one of the motherships when they make their appearance. While I realize that I have Pleiadian genes, I also know that I've been on earth for a long time. While an infusion of Pleiadian energy would be welcome, intimate memory of Earth experience is also important. I WANT a partner who shares both my experience and my vision, seeing and knowing more than I do in some areas while being open to the areas where I see or know more. Together, we complement each other, forming an impenetrable union.

Here we go again! I don't want to WANT anything. Hear me. The relationship that will fulfill me is spiritual and physical, mental and emotional. I am feeling unfulfilled because this is not my physical reality. This is the same dilemma over and over again: "You'll see it when you believe it." Sometimes that seems like pure bullshit! How many times in my life have I fully believed that she was here, in the flesh, with me now? I was convinced … even very recently. Still, neither lady I knew was her. If either was the one, she would have stayed, she would have communicated, she would have worked through whatever issues came up for her … with me. You know very well that has not been my experience. So don't give me that line that I'll see it when I believe it. When I have believed it, I still didn't see it. Only a mirage! Is that what human love is: only phantom beauty and the dream of passion … both eluding the human heart?

We've talked before about issues of beauty and passion. There remains a part of me that is critical of what seems superficial in me. I don't want to make any excuses. I simply cannot conceive of the possibility that I could experience passion without seeing beauty; and beauty, to me, has both physical and nonphysical elements. Am I hopelessly entrapped by the illusion? Am I any less your son or any less loving because I admire model-like women? The mere fact that I'm asking these questions implies doubt. Am I supposed to get rid of all doubt and all other honest feelings we label negative in order to finally experience fulfillment as a physical/spiritual being? If so, I don't understand integrity. To me, integrity means telling the truth. Yes, truth has levels of perception. Integrity recognizes all of the levels. That's why I need grace. Otherwise, I will be floundering in three-dimensional realities for many lifetimes yet to come. I steadfastly refuse to deny my humanity, even if that's the only path to spiritual fulfillment. I am fully human! I've fully identified with my human family! I love humanity! I love people – even those who still don’t remember much about who they really are.

Hear me, God. When I left home, however many millions or billions of years ago that may have been, I had such love for you that I was willing to descend from the light into the darkness, and even to forget our relationship with each other. I was willing; and I did it. Now I can feel home so near ... almost right here, almost right now. I can almost touch it. Nevertheless, I do not want to ascend alone, without my partner by my side. I could not have made it this far without her energies, without her mysterious inner voice calling to me, without the image of her beauty ever before me, and without the inner longing for our reunion. She has been my muse, inspiring me in both the darkest and the most exciting of times. She is of me! She and I have always been one, though not in the flesh. And for me, God, creation can never be complete until it is completed in the flesh. The spiritual must be embodied! The inside must become visible externally in the physical plane.

So there you have it, God. It's not the first time we've had this conversation. Some of this has been expressed in other ways at other times in writing. I'd really like this to be the last. Right now, I'm feeling very weary. My longings are to hold her in my arms. Unfortunately, I don't even know who she is. All I know is that I miss her very much. I miss her kisses, her smiles, her touch, her voice, her warmth, her form, her softness, her wisdom, her ability to soothe and nurture, her amazing beauty, and her unquenchable spirit. Yet, how can I miss someone that I don't even know; yet I have known her – forever – as part of my own being. Please let us make this journey of ascension together: heart-to-heart, side-by-side and hand-in-hand. Do you not understand, God, that I love her like my very own soul? She is my very own soul!

I guess that's all for now, God. Some have said that you are not personal ... just energy. Well I am personal; and I am your son. Nothing I have ever asked for, sought out or desired is more important than this that I'm asking now. Please, God, have mercy, and by whatever means possible, bring us together again … soon, very soon. Thank you, thank you very much.

I don't remember my first experience with a vagina. It was my mom's, and frankly I was a bit young at the time. You might say I was clueless.

Want to hear something funny? After a little more than six decades in a man's body, I'm still pretty clueless about vaginas and their gatekeepers known as women.

It's true, ever since I first left mom’s womb, squeezing through her amazingly elastic vagina... well, not ever since, but as I approached the end of my second decade… I've wanted to get back in. No! Not my moms! Don't be nuts! But vaginas – absolutely there's been a magnetic draw – a fascination bordering on occasional obsession. (Ok, maybe not so occasional.)

Would you believe I was 18 the first time I touched one – other than playing doctor with my sister before I even started school? It's true. Of course I never even kissed a girl till I was 17. Sent chills up and down my spine! Oh the disappointment when I asked her to go out with me and she laughed in my face: "I wouldn't go out with you. You're not a man; you’re a mouse."

Yes, I was a skinny kid, very naïve and innocent. What did she mean: I wasn't a man? I had a penis just like all the other guys. My friend said it was because I didn't feel her up when I kissed her. Of course I didn't – I wouldn't have even thought of it at the time. I was a good boy and good boys didn't do that sort of thing until it was proper – like after marriage. Yes that's how naïve I was.

My first couple experiences with a vagina, at 18, were clothed and in the dark. I didn't even get to see – only touch with my hand in her panties. It felt good, and I've never failed to get excited whenever I've had an opportunity to touch a real pussy. I think I could be diagnosed with a rare disease known as vagina madness.

The first time I had a chance to actually put my penis into a vagina, I said no. Why you may wonder? Did she not pull her panties down and say, "Fuck me?" Yes, she did. I was 21 at the time, and still obviously a virgin. She looked to be 16 or so, but I had been told she was really only 13; and for whatever reason, became infatuated with me that first summer after I got out of the Army. But I couldn't do it. "Jailbait" one of the guys had warned me. I should've never even let her talk me into going for a ride, but she was so pretty. Still, my first opportunity, and I said no. She insisted that she had been having sex since she was 11, so it didn’t matter. My NO held up though, and I took her home. (Would the law have understood had I done it? I doubt it. It’s age, not experience that counts.)

The next opportunity, a couple months later, another female cast her lustful eyes on me. She was older – my own age. Her husband was overseas in the military and she just wanted to have a good time. Oh yes, I did become acquainted somewhat with her vagina, but when it came to actually putting it in, I couldn't. My conscience screamed so loudly that it was as if my poor penis just drained – you know, went soft. She felt so bad for me that she kissed it better, giving me my first head and hand job. Still, I did not have sex. I did a Bill Clinton before I even knew who he was. My penis never entered her vagina and we never saw each other again. After that, I'm sure she got other penises to pleasure herself with while her husband was away. I’ve learned lots of women have boy toys, just like many men use women for gratification.

Next, I met the lady who would become my wife. I think she was what they call a prick tease. Oh, I could play with her vagina, even kissed it – sometimes French kisses; but it was off-limits for my penis. The truth is, I didn't even like her. I didn't like the way she treated me; and I always felt manipulated. I even tried to stop seeing her three times; but she always said she would kill herself if I left her. I was the man of her dreams... she was not the lady of mine. There was never any penis-vagina contact until the night before our wedding – and even then she would not let me put it in.

For 14 years we were married, and our genitals joined frequently. The prick tease was usually quite insatiable, and being what I am told is a rare multi-orgasmic male, I enjoyed the sex... often. However, when she reached her 30s, her vagina was no match for my penis. She needed more, even though we had sex at least once or twice a day nearly every day. I don't have fingers and toes enough to count the men she screwed in the final one to two years of our marriage... and she would often give me blow-by-blow descriptions of her encounters – especially the ones where the guy was more richly endowed than me. Still, she was the only vagina I had known in a penetrating way, and I was 36 when we finally split up.

I have experienced several vaginas since that time. I've been in a half a dozen relationships (one was my second wife) and had another half dozen or so one, two or three-night stands. Let me tell you what I've learned about vaginas during that time.

I still love the body of a woman, and no part of the female form holds more allure for me than that warm, wet, erotic mound between her legs. The vagina – all by itself – is the greatest aphrodisiac I can imagine... certainly the best I've ever experienced. With the right woman, in the right mood, I have spent hours fondling, caressing, licking, kissing and penetrating the sacred mons venus. There is no greater pleasure in this entire world. None!

Nevertheless and despite my growth as a more conscious man, my increased sensitivity and emotional availability, my life remains vagina free. Oh, every now and again some lady at a bar will come on to me; but it's usually quite easy to say a courteous no. I'm not into one night stands just to screw a real vagina – especially not some drunk lady who doesn't even know who she is (and in some cases can hardly stand up or speak clearly).

A few months back, a lady witnessed me being hit on by another woman. The next time she saw me, she asked, "Why didn't you just use her?"

"Because that's not who I am," I replied. She couldn't believe a man could pass up free pussy; but pussy isn't free – not ever, at least not for me.

Another woman came to me on another occasion – far more tempting than the one just mentioned. This time we even kissed each other, actually made out some in the bar; yet when she asked me outside, inviting me to go home with her, again, I said no. She even asked, "Would you rather have sex or be spiritual?" I did get her phone number and called her three times after that, giving her an opportunity to get together to learn about each other. That's not what she wanted; and three strikes, she was out.

So vaginas, along with everything else that constitutes the female of our species, will attract me as long as I am in this form. That's the way I am made, but until I can connect through a woman's eyes to her soul, and reach the place of truth within each of us, I will continue not to connect with the most beloved vagina.

Women, like men, are lost and confused. Our penises and vaginas have urged us to make foolish decisions that only hurt us in the long run. I don't wish to go down that road again, if I can help it.

I love the vagina; but it must come with a woman whose heart and soul are also open to explore and experience the deeper meaning of life. My penis and her vagina are pleasure centers, and my desire is to share that pleasure. I want metaphorical wings on the penis and vagina that will transport us to worlds beyond our past experience, soaring into a realm of ecstasy and bliss as we unleash a human passion that touches the divine, because we are divine beings.

So there you have it: the vagina from a man’s point of view… a gentleman who knows that sex is sacred, who honors his own being, and the soul of each person he meets. When we all learn to do that, we will change the world. That’s what love is all about.

In case you haven't noticed, things are changing fast for the human family on planet Earth. We are shifting from a fear-based paradigm to a love-based paradigm … from separation consciousness to unity consciousness. For some the transition will be easier than it is for others. Those who are able to embrace change will find that the changes are less traumatic. However, those who wish to maintain the status quo will find the changes more difficult; and some will find their lives in total upheaval because they are unable or unwilling to go with the flow.

How can one recognize whether they are in new paradigm thinking or old paradigm thinking? Consider this: separation consciousness and fear-based thinking is characterized by the perceived need for protection. Any time you want to establish safe boundaries to protect you from unwanted intrusion, you can know that you are bound by the old paradigm. I know … every single one of us has experienced this. Of course we have. We have been living in a dualistic world for a very long time; and its imprint is in our consciousness and likely even in the very cells of our bodies. Feeling unsafe has long been simply: the way it is. As the new paradigm thinking takes root, feeling unsafe will increasingly become: the way it used to be.

Unfortunately, and I wish it could be avoided, there will be disagreements between those who are seeing through the lens of the old paradigm compared to those who are beginning to see through the lens of the new paradigm. New paradigm visionaries will be attempting to erase barriers and shine the light on fear-based thought patterns, not so they can be right (although some will perceive it that way) but so that others can be liberated. Those more firmly entrenched in the old thinking will resist this. They may feel threatened; and therefore attempt to establish rules and policies to protect themselves from the changes that seem intimidating or in some way pressure their ability to maintain their perceived identity or role.

To the visionary, this is seen as resistance to change. It's not about blame or shame; it's only about waking up and seeing things as they really are … or at least how they are becoming. From a place of love, one feels safe and secure in allowing others to be, to express and to do whatever they feel is right for them. Of course, fear often masquerades as love, using the same wording and wearing similar masks. It takes discernment and wisdom to tell the difference.

Let's look at another consideration of protection. It is impossible for those who see themselves as being and containing all that is, in other words: from the God perspective, to perceive a need for protection. From their vantage point the question arises: protection from what? If nothing is outside of me, and I have taken full responsibility for my own life, what is there to hurt me? Everything that exists and everything that happens to me are actually gifts to show me the constructs that I have created, and which truly limit me. These keep me from knowing myself in all of my Divine essence. Nothing can harm me when I trust Love and understand it as the governing essence of the Cosmos. However, few humans are there yet. In fact, I suspect it is highly unlikely that any of us are fully there. Individually and collectively, we are in a state of great transition. Far from needing protection from one another, we need to see each other with compassion, listen attentively to what the other is saying, and practice kindness. It’s not about being right anymore, but about learning to really love from our heart of hearts … unconditionally. Easier said than done!

Those who argue for policies of protection may be having trouble grasping the new paradigm. This doesn't mean they are bad people. We've all been there; and many still can't see that there's anywhere else to go – any other perspective from which we can view life on Earth. But there it is! There is the perspective that creation has a purpose and evolution reaches culmination points. We are at one of those points right now in the awakening process to higher consciousness. Again, new paradigm thinking is the exact opposite of separation consciousness; it is the higher consciousness of total inclusion. It is what mystics in all cultures have long seen and tried to show people; yet relatively few actually got it. Many more are getting it now. Hallelujah!

It is my sincere hope, as well as my strong conviction, that resistance to the evolution of human consciousness will continue to decrease until it finally disappears altogether. To me, that is the cosmic intent and the goal of all creation. Resistance has served its purpose well. Many now see that it was based on lies ... lies and more lies ... none greater than the delusion that anything could be separate from the totality of Creation itself. Those lies culminated in the creation of the world we have long known as our reality. Now we are being given the opportunity to create a brand new world with a foundation in the Eternal Truth that we really are ALL ONE … and never alone or apart from the Love of our Creator!

While I long believed that the world I lived it was unsafe, I am receiving the gift of being able to see from a higher vantage point. I receive this gift with great appreciation and thanksgiving in my heart. It is helping me feel safe in my own skin, safe enough to more openly reveal secrets and things that I had long kept hidden from others, safe enough to speak my truth without being overwhelmed by my false need to please everyone by not rocking the boat, and to finally accept the knowing that I've always been safe at all times and in all circumstances. Nothing can harm me when I know myself as Love and understand that Love is the guiding principle in all Creation. I am protected because, and only because, I am coming to know myself as eternal and infinite, which is how I was created before time began, before duality was ever experienced. There is nothing I need to do for my protection; in fact, there’s nothing I can do. All attempts to protect my limited self belie the fact that I do not yet remember who I am in the eternal scheme of things. They are futile and delusional. They are of the old paradigm that is passing away as our future consumes our past, leaving us enriched and empowered beyond our wildest dreams.

I never thought he'd actually give me the chance to speak. Frankly, I'm a little nervous. Why should I be though; after all, when I get excited, I grow to twice my normal stature! He doesn't know anyone else with that ability. Truth is, he's never really thought about it. For most of his life he's just simply taken me for granted. Only recently has he given me the honor I deserve. Let me tell you how it's been most of the time we've been together.

Early on he was taught to be ashamed of me. Even as a little boy he was told, "you're not supposed to touch yourself." It didn't matter that it felt good when he touched me; because of the programming, feelings of shame always came up whenever he did. It wasn't supposed to be that way, but that's the way it was. Guilt and shame, always more guilt and shame! What a strange relationship it has been.

I take it you realize that we’re talking about two different things here. I'm not talking about when he takes a leak. There's never been any shame along that line. Only when I’d get excited did the guilt and shame set in…in other words, my sexual function of creating really, really good feelings.

Yeah, the whole problem centers on sex. Really strange, the number he does on himself, or at least used to do. Thank God, he's finally getting over it. I have no idea why it's taken him so long to wake up. It's not as if he's stupid after all. He's rather bright in many ways...except for the crazy sexual hang-ups. I think it has something to do with religion. Rumor has it he's not the only one that's been messed up by this – even with the Christian understanding that “there’s power in the blood”. I guess there are a whole lot of penises and vaginas out there that are equally messed up…or at least deprived and hindered from completing their most important task.

Just because we can make a whole body feel good, they say our owners are perverted if they're preoccupied with that. Perhaps so, but the irony is that the more it is forbidden, the more preoccupied our owners become. You see we exert a very powerful influence. You got it right. We may not be the largest organ in the body; but we have the ability to produce more conscious pleasure than any other part – except for the mind, which really isn't a part at all. Of course, most don't realize that. They think the mind is the brain. It's not, but I've digressed from my primary focus. Let's get back to penis talk.

You know what I really like? I like it when he takes his time touching me. He's getting much better at this. It used to be that he just used me as a pressure release valve. I'm so much more than that. Sometimes he accidentally discovered this magic – even when he was feeling shame. It sort of shocked him when I was able to send waves of pleasure rippling through his body. Too bad it took him so long to get the message. He might've had a lot more fun along the way. Sometimes our owners are just too stubborn. He certainly was; not because he wanted to be, but he thought it was his job to suppress me. He actually thought God gave a damn about this. Trust me, God created pleasure; and She actually put me there for enjoyment: hers and mine. Believe me, the Goddess who gave form to the body is very, very sensual. Yes, sexual, too! All of life is, if you think about it.

I have no delusions. I’m well aware that I am not the only part that matters; in fact, I work best when aligned with all the other parts, visible and invisible, in this complex being called: a man. I am connected to the whole enchilada, every part…so why the war? Why the judgment? Why the shame? I don’t get it. Why has pleasure been suppressed? Thank God he’s getting over all that. That gets me really excited, although not nearly as much as when he sees a pussy. He loves those warm, wet and furry mounds of pure joy. But it scares him too. All the criticisms and abandonment issues come up simultaneously with the excitement. Why does fear have to ride shotgun with the thrill of joining together with another body? Let me tell you, it can really put a damper on my designed function. Sometimes it actually makes me fall down on the job. He doesn’t like that at all, so he has tried some chemical stimulants, even though he hates medications. Can you imagine, actually drugging me? Huh! Huh! Just to make up for the fact that his parts are not all working together at the same time! He gets impatient as his mind is chattering all sorts of useless information having nothing whatsoever to do with the joy at hand…or rather in the presence of a real vagina. Hehehe…

Now, he loves the vagina … calls it the flower of womanhood. He even dreams of me pollinating the flowers, you know, fantasies and all. Sometimes he looks at pictures of the flowers. There’s a whole lot less stress with pictures compared to the actual fragrance and feel of the petals, but then it doesn’t have the same level of fulfillment either. Guilt here, too! Why? Like all guilt, I think it’s a pretty worthless and disempowering feeling that robs the man and the woman of experiencing bliss and gratification.

Anyway, I’m glad he gave me this brief opportunity to express myself. I’m damn proud of my humble role as the rod of creation. I have done my best to point him in the right direction, just a little to the left of center in a world with far too much right that is actually wrong. I look forward to working more in conjunction with his heart as he learns to be patient when smelling or even kissing flowers. When he gets to that point, he will see that he can just relax, that I will do what I was designed to do: penetrate and produce, not only ecstatic pleasures and indescribable joys, but transformation of lives and even worlds. Working together with all of his energies, there are no limitations, none whatsoever. He will discover the secrets of his timeless mind and ageless body as he co-creates the realm where pleasure and peace dwell happily together.

Then he will understand what I told him a while back: “She’s coming, Ron, she’s coming!” Sort of makes me feel fulfilled, if you get my drift. After all, I was made to fill her. It was a Divine design. Still is!

Here’s a little advice. You can take it or leave it. Your choice! If you have a vagina, celebrate it wildly. If a penis is attached to your bag of balls, rejoice. Touch us! You won’t go blind. You can even share us with other penises and other vaginas, if that’s your current learning curve. Whatever floats your boat; revel in it. Violate propriety! Find your own integrity, your own path. Remember this: nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it; and it’s all a sacred journey of recovery from your amnesia. For you are this, and this alone … you are the very symbol of Life-force Energy itself.

If he could kiss me right now, he would. As it is, he needs some help in his celebration of the pleasures of Life. Go ahead; make me erupt like a volcano spewing forth my fountain of salty liquids containing the very essence of procreation. And let me tell you, I am all for creation! Life would be sooooo boring without it. So, why not create your own party time. Smile and say, “Thank you” the next time you feel that hardness coming on, or the moisture beginning to flow. Always remember: you were designed for pleasure. Joy is your natural birthright. Passion is the quintessential experience. Use it wisely and you will literally transform your life and lives all around you. Let your penis or vagina connect with your heart. That’s the real secret of life … sacred touch and unconditional love. It’s my present gift to you. Open it and be…just be alive! It’s way ok! Life is good once you really get it…so get it already. Life has waited a long time for you to catch up and get on with the program: knowing that you, all of you, are connected to everything else in the whole wide world. Start by realizing that all parts of your body, penis included (or vagina, if that’s what you’ve got), are gifts. Love and appreciate us. You’ll be amazed how much that will change your experience…simply amazed.

Response to Order filed in open court on April 27, 2011 at 10:51 AM

AFFIDAVIT

These are facts I know to be true...

AFFIDAVIT

Response to Notice of Court Date: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 and Rendering of Final Sovereign Judgment

Follow-up AFFIDAVIT... NOTICE OF UNDERSTANDING following Court appearance on March 26, 2010

AFFIDAVIT: Response to 3rd Party Motion for Final Summary Judgment with Counterclaim and Defendant’s Motion for Final Summary Judgment and Dismissal

Response to Notice of Court Date: Wednesday, June 16, 2010
and Rendering of Final Sovereign Judgment

Follow-up AFFIDAVIT...
NOTICE OF UNDERSTANDING following
Court appearance on March 26, 2010

AFFIDAVIT:
Response to 3rd Party Motion for Final Summary Judgment with Counterclaim and Defendant’s Motion for Final Summary Judgment and Dismissal